MovieChat Forums > Major Payne (1995) Discussion > Funniest Scene ever....

Funniest Scene ever....

posted 21 years ago by jace_versai
105 replies | jump to latest

This is, and always be one of my favorite movies. Damon Wayans is hilarious! My favorite scene in the movie has got to be when Payne is trying to become a police officer and they want him to defuse a make believe domestic situation with the two other cadets, and Payne grabs the man:

"DON'T *SLAP* NEVER *SLAP* HIT *SLAP* HER *SLAP* AGAIN! *SLAP* HEAR ME? *SLAP* HEAR ME? *SLAP* DO YA? *SLAP* DO YA? *SLAP* HUH *SLAP* HUH *SLAP* HUH?! *SLAP*"

And he ends up knocking the poor guy out!! What is everyone else's favorite scene??

[–] MightyMorphinTaraRanger 17 years ago

i think the funniest bit was when tiger was hugging him then he had him in a headlock then he was like to the woman "well i didnt like it..made me all funny" lmao and that but when hes like "sen-se-tive"

[–] Murms 17 years ago

Not sure why, but the funniest part to me was when the funny black kid (not the blind one) was imitating major payne before he showed up....then he started dancing and the other cadets laughed. They stopped laughing when they realized major payne was right behind him, but he continued to dance. The whole time he was singing "Sound awwf....1-2, sound awwf....3-4....move it on down......move it on down" The fact that he continued to dance (and they way he danced) was beyond hilarious.

[–] philz_2002 17 years ago

karyn parsons: have you heard of positive reinforcement
damon wayans: is that were you snap a terrosrists neck after torturing him so he doesn't have to go through life with a colostomy bag.

brilliant

[–] CGVega 17 years ago

you guys missed some of the best lines!

"i'll put my foot so far up your a$$, the water on my knee will quench your thirst"

and, i think this one was from major payne,
"yo mama so fat, she plays pool with the planets"

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] slicknick610 17 years ago

I forgot that he calls him Mr Ace Ventura lol. Him and Jim Carey were in In Living Color together. He was calling the dog Cujo from the movie about a rabid dog.

[–] jnorthe 17 years ago

"Slippery he says. You think Charlie cares about slippery? He will slip your throat."

[–] Bow_Bow 17 years ago

When all the kids are doing the chants in dresses:

'I'm a bald headed son of a bitch without hair.'

And the way he says. 'as off 0800 I am replacing major franklin as you're commanding OFFICERRR' it's the way he says it.

Last Movies Seen:

AVP - R - 4/10
American Pie: Beta House 2.5/10

[–] thisismsnikki 17 years ago

Dang, this is a tough one, because the whole movie is completely hilarious! But the funniest scene for me was:

Emily: I like to make a suggestion. Why don't you and I become partners in the emotional development of these little ones. What do ya say? Can you be my big helper and help me do that?

MP: Yes

Emily: Good!

MP:Why do I feel like a jacka$$?

[–] sxymommacitaprincess_227 14 years ago

my favorites

Majorpayne: and i get the urge to kill!

Biker:Dnt gimmie that billy jack bull *beep*

D: man that damn payne is already startin to get on my nerves, turd this turd that.who does he think he is:
Heathcoat: just shut up.

D: you tellin me to shut up? why dnt ya shut your damn mouth and stop eatin all that damn candy, you fat pig!

mayjor payne:go change your huggies boy and be back here pronto. Stop that crying! You'll get no pity from me!

[–] sxymommacitaprincess_227 14 years ago

one more that i forgot

mayjore payne: let me see that belly roll!

[–] kimisan 13 years ago

I love the drill at the end! I never noticed all the stuff the other cadets are saying while Tiger is dancing; "Get down, yeah funky daddy, don't stop!" haha

I also love when Williams is doing the "sound off" when Payne walks up behind him. He turns around and switches from dancing to jumping jacks. I wanted to see HIM do that dance at the end of the drill!

Did anyone else notice that when Heathcoat is laying in bed with Payne and Payne says "Hello, Betty" that the camera cuts away really quickly because Heathcoat is laughing? I just caught that today!

[–] KJax50 13 years ago

"Woman, when I was six I had a full-time job!"

________________________________________
What happened happened and can't happen any other way

[–] ExistFilms 12 years ago

"Feel I'm getting weaker... While Charlie's growing stronger in the jungle... I can't lose my edge... I gotta keep my strength up... Gotta maintain discipline... Because the hard reality was... I gotta get a job."

Intelligence cannot be measured by knowledge, but by imagination...
- Albert Einstein

[–] Judah_Earl 11 years ago

Payne: You there! Tell Marlee Matlin's son to get across that rope before I hang him with it!

Payne: General, surely there must be SOMEBODY left who needs some killing, or some killing done for them.
Gen. Decker: Sorry, Major. There's nobody left. You've killed them all.

Guerilla Leader: You'd better give up, senor, you cannot kill us all.
Major Payne: Pointing gun at guys ass, Nope, but I can clean your colon quicker than one of them burrito with extra guacamole sauce!

[–] classclown85 10 years ago

GOT NO WORRY GOT NO STRESS!
GOT NO WORRY GOT NO STRESS!
CAUSE WE LOOK GOOD IN OUR DRESS!
CAUSE WE LOOK GOOD IN OUR DRESS!
GOT NO WORRY GOT NO CARE!
GOT NO WORRY GOT NO CARE!
CAUSE I'M A BALD-HEADED SON OF A BITCH WITHOUT HAIR!
CAUSE I'M A BALD-HEADED SON OF A BITCH WITHOUT HAIR!

or something like that either way hilarious

[–] ben_hunter-08270 9 years ago

haha has to be....
"Lady by the time I was six I had a full time job"

or when that Squad leader is yelling and repeating Payne's insults "Hell hang you with it haha" and he goes to yell again and Major Payne goes 'YOUUU SHUT UP!" ....HAHA such a classic.

"There are some that call me..... Tim"