MovieChat Forums > Major Payne (1995) Discussion > Funniest Scene ever....

Funniest Scene ever....

posted 21 years ago by jace_versai
105 replies | jump to latest

This is, and always be one of my favorite movies. Damon Wayans is hilarious! My favorite scene in the movie has got to be when Payne is trying to become a police officer and they want him to defuse a make believe domestic situation with the two other cadets, and Payne grabs the man:

"DON'T *SLAP* NEVER *SLAP* HIT *SLAP* HER *SLAP* AGAIN! *SLAP* HEAR ME? *SLAP* HEAR ME? *SLAP* DO YA? *SLAP* DO YA? *SLAP* HUH *SLAP* HUH *SLAP* HUH?! *SLAP*"

And he ends up knocking the poor guy out!! What is everyone else's favorite scene??

[–] tara-kline 18 years ago

i can't choose a favorite scene but one of my favorite lines was when he was talking to the boys in the beginning and said, "War has made me very paranoid! etc."

[–] Ly_aLIVE 18 years ago

Payne- "Haven't you've ever heard the expression, little people can do big things? Look at them three lil' pigs, little red Riding Hood,...Spike Lee."

Makes laugh my ass off ever time
Another one is:

"You want to show you a technique to take the edge off that pai

[–] The_Winchester 18 years ago

you better go back to sleep before that bad man in that closet comes out and chops your little head off. the *swoosh* from his macahte sp? is sooooo funny

muthaf ucka, you shoulda told me ya was bit, i'm walking with you and s hit

[–] bigassscar 18 years ago

the part that cracks me is up is after he leaves the military, he is in his hotel room complaining that "its been two whole weeks since i last kill't me a man". You see a rat one moment, then payne cooking that rat over a fire. this is the part that kills me: a cat comes close to payne and he turns around and makes a hissing noise. im not sure if i described this whole scene correctly, but its soooo funny.

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] devoelodi 18 years ago

i guess i will have to say a different part that cracks me up everytime.

"can i get a 1,2, can i get a 3, 4,, break it on down, break it on down..

lol

ok, damn. the part before Major Payne beat up Bam Bam Bigelo.

[–] Megalloyd645 18 years ago

You will not eat, sleep,drink, or even dig in your butts without my say-so.
know this: killin is my business ladies and business is gooooooood
Tiger: yoohoo

fi uoy gnikcuf emalf em ll'i emalf uoy kcab (read it backwards)

[–] af174378 18 years ago

(Maj. Payne w/ Emily after their night out)

MP: "And that was the first time I drove a man's nose through his brain resulting in instant death and immediate bowel evacuation...hehehe. But enough about me, what's your story little lady?"

[–] Isaac5855 18 years ago

That was hysterical. I also liked Payne's dancing at the disco and when he tells Tiger the bedtime story of The Little Engine Who Could.

[–] itszombietime 18 years ago

Hello Betty!!

this is easily Damon Wayans' best film. Payne is one of the funniest characters to ever grace the big screen. I'm surprised it has a low rating on imdb, anyone with comedy film chops knows this is a great laugh out loud movie. I roar every time I watch it.

Sen-suh-tive!!

[–] tiffanykk2002 18 years ago

This entire movie is funny. It is so hard to nail down one scene. I used to quote from it all the time. So I'll go with my favorite quotes.

"Boom!" - During the Little Engine that Could scene. "His little bloody nubbs were kickin' real fast." "Lula Mae's baby boy."

"I'm sorry Major, you've killed them all."

First meeting the cadets- "Killin' is my business ladies, and business is goooood." "Find a piece of candy in your pocket?" "Oh I see. Now give me 25 more for speaking outta line!"

"Now my patch of brussel sprouts, uproot yourselves.." "Tomorrow ladies, we gon start the hard stuff."

Williams: Break it on down, break it on down. Butt so tight he can't pass gas.

"One, don't you feel dumb. Two, look at you. Three, don't ever talk about me behind my back or I'll stomp you in the ground."

"I'm just a baldheaded son of a b*tch without hair."

"I have a suprize for you, it's a bullet, it's from the heart. No really, it's from the heart, left ventricle, took it out myself with a field knife."

"Looks like the party's just begun."

"That boy knows the drill like the knob on the back of his head."

Plus the scene where they dance at the end. Looking at the fat kid kills me.
This movie is so hilarious, one of the funniest ever!

[–] tjjohnstone 18 years ago

its a bullet from my heart.

[–] desifir667 18 years ago

great

[–] lou4brew 18 years ago

1. "Ohhhhhh chiiiillllldreeenn........"

2. "I'm gonna teach you to rhyme the military way...one....DON'T YOU FEEL DUMB! Two...... LOOK AT YOU!"

3. "let me guess, you're snoop diggity dog"

4. The whole apocolypse now parody scene ...lol

5. Anytime Major Payne laughs... he he he he he he

www.myspace.com/rantaholic

[–] valkyrie9453 18 years ago

Nobody mentioned the biker saying "You said you were gonna kick me in the face."
"You callin' me a liar?"
"Oh, Children!"

[–] er786 18 years ago

the bit were that one with big ears gets knocked out by a fart lol and there outside and in the background, some of them doing shooting practice amd payne clipa the deaf one around the head and shouts WOTS THE MATTER U CANT SEE EITHER LMAO

[–] dnickywill 18 years ago

Dir Ye Dir

[–] johnnythror 18 years ago

"If you want my sympathy look in the dictionary between *beep* and siphilous"

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] sirlaughalot12 18 years ago

This movie had no funny parts.

Knock Yo Self Out!