MovieChat Forums > Major Payne (1995) Discussion > Funniest Scene ever....

Funniest Scene ever....

posted 21 years ago by jace_versai
105 replies | jump to latest

This is, and always be one of my favorite movies. Damon Wayans is hilarious! My favorite scene in the movie has got to be when Payne is trying to become a police officer and they want him to defuse a make believe domestic situation with the two other cadets, and Payne grabs the man:

"DON'T *SLAP* NEVER *SLAP* HIT *SLAP* HER *SLAP* AGAIN! *SLAP* HEAR ME? *SLAP* HEAR ME? *SLAP* DO YA? *SLAP* DO YA? *SLAP* HUH *SLAP* HUH *SLAP* HUH?! *SLAP*"

And he ends up knocking the poor guy out!! What is everyone else's favorite scene??

[–] blackpantherswatchamacallit 20 years ago

Nobody has mentioned the robot dance scene. I really like that. I haven't seen this in a while and can't remember much except for that.

[–] thejollysnowman25 20 years ago

I like it when there's the blind kid and the kid says: It's my blind-eye seeing dog."
Major Payne: Why do you need a blind dog?
Kid: It's not my dog thats blind I'm blind.
Then he shaves the dog and the kid effing hillarious.

You want to talk about awkward moments once when having sex with Lois I cried out Frank.

[–] djdizzynut 20 years ago

all those are hilarious but for some reason the line after they hire the guy to kick payne's arse and they're in the barracks..."im a make you boys strong." just the way he says that whole speech and smiles cracks me up...but the whole movies just awesome..i'm surprised its not rated higher on here

[–] RalphWiggum7 20 years ago

"Boy, I am two seconds from being on you like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm!"

The Little Engine that Could

[–] hinhao373 20 years ago

I always love the scene when he's waiting at the train station, then he sees him with the girl and tiger having a BBQ.

Then out of no where, some guy comes out with a gun and he throws him into the pool.

Then they all laugh.

[–] SuperSonicX 20 years ago

One of my favorite scenes:

Major Payne: You like the way I handled them white folks back there?
Cadet Williams: Yeah.
Major Payne: You like a black man to handle things?
Cadet Williams: Malcolm X, brother.
Major Payne: Come here a little closer...[Major Payne yells into his ear] I. AM. NOT. YO. DAMN. BROTHER!

AND MY FAVORITE PART! Major Payne's The Little Engine That Could!

Listen to it...here: http://majorpayne.tyreeonline.com/mp3/little_engine.mp3

[–] TheBrooklynCrippler 20 years ago

That's the pretty part in the flim.

[–] jnorthe 17 years ago

that 'guy' was Charlie...

"Slippery he says. You think Charlie cares about slippery? He will slip your throat."

[–] jdude1450 20 years ago

My favorite was when he buried the kids in the mud and started spraying them with the hose. That was great.

[–] 20 years ago

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[–] whatsyourboggle 20 years ago

The one that comes to mind for me is when they try to give him the cake with the laxatives in, and he just farts and knocks out a passing kid :-p lol. Also friggin funny how he just pokes open his can :-)

Kung fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene...

[–] wasdf2 19 years ago

yea my fav. part in the movie is where he pokes open his can and makes that sound. haha freaking halarious

[–] Stacehoney72 17 years ago

The one that comes to mind for me is when they try to give him the cake with the laxatives in, and he just farts and knocks out a passing kid :-p lol.

haha yeah that was good part :D

[–] samjmarra 20 years ago

Without a doubt it's the moment when he's left the school and is waiting at the train stop and then daydreams about a civilian life with tiger and Emily. They're barbecuring and drinking lemonade with really happy 50's music playing when that Vietcong guy steps out from behind the tree and charges Payne. Payne strikes him in his gut, burns his face on the grill, and then throws him into the little kiddie pool. All the meanwhile the happy music is playing. I almost barfed I laughed so hard.

[–] 20 years ago

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[–] Connor207 20 years ago

here are mine
1- the one wear Alex punches that Wellington cadet just how the cadet smiles like he Alex is going to congraduate him but he punches him in the face)

2- the dress scene I am wondering wear did the kids get the dress could it be miss walburns or could one of the cadets be a crossdresser

3- the cop scene total slappage!

[–] Mad_Monkey 19 years ago

Did you see the movie? He terminates the bad man in the closet with extreme prejudice and when they try to take the picture in bed, he says "Hello, Betty"

[–] main_production 19 years ago

Funniest scene I think:

Just after they moved in their new barracks.

Alex: Major Payne?
Payne: WHAT!?!
Alex: I think I speak for all of us when I say this place is unacceptable!
Payne with a bit smile: Really??? =D

Then he puts them all in a mud pool and make them sing:

Love my barracks day and night.... etc.

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] callinthelaw69 19 years ago

The monster in the closet scene is hilarious.

"Is he in there?"

*boy nods*

Payne pulls out gun...BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

"If he still in there he ain't happy."

"Little bastard shot me in the ass!"

[–] mr_x350 19 years ago

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN AT ASS EYES???

[–] Cyberman_1985 19 years ago

what about at the beginning when hes in his room, and he was like i haven't killed a man in 2 weeks, and i'm getting the itch, that scene was hilarious

[–] ragreen259 19 years ago

roasting the rat and fighting the cat for it was from a true incident in G. Gordon Liddy's childhood.

[–] mr_x350 19 years ago

i watched this movie last night on u.s.a, and i was cracking up at the scene where
he shaves the blind kid's head, and then the kid reaches down and is shocked that his seeing eye-dog has been shaved also, and then it shows damon wayans doing that idiotic laughing "heeee heeeee heeee, hoooo hooooo hoooo, haaaa haaaa haaaaa"

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] 19 years ago

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[–] LuvDatMusick 19 years ago

I thought it was so funny the way Major Payne talked out of his nose in this quote "My business is killing, ladies(referrin the boys as ladies)- AND BUS-NESS IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

[–] klaym 19 years ago

That was an hilarous scene but let me make a correction. I'm in the NJROTC and the term "cadet" is used ONLY to students in the JROTC Program. If you say a student is a "Cadet", that means he/she is part of the JROTC.

Otherwise, my favorite scene is difficult to decide. I loved this scene:

Major Payne: Pop your titty out the boy's mouth and stop babying him.
Emily: Excuse me
Major: Did I stutter? I said pop-your-TI-TE-out-the boy's mouth and let him grow up!

and the dress scene, rainy obstacle scene, and some others were really funny.

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] silental 19 years ago

The whole scene when he (Major Payne) meets the cadets for the first time.

Silent Al

[–] mikeh99 19 years ago

I liked the scene at the beginning during the 'op' when he comes upon the guy that's screaming, "My leg is broken, you broke my leg!", and Payne takes the guy's finger and breaks it and the guy starts screaming about his broken finger. Payne calmly says, "But you ain't worrying about that leg now are ya?".