I didn't get that part, but I also missed parts of the movie. They didn't seem to have any friendship-ending fights, so why did they end up not being friends?
shareThey just grew apart after the summer as they were in different classes at school.
It happens
As time goes on people move on. I was Gordie’s age in the mid-60s. Walking the RR tracks, tree-forts, playing in the woods. There were 5 of us. Late 70s I rarely saw any of them. Now, 50 years later, I haven’t seen nor contacted any since the 1980s. I live just a few miles from there.
Others I am sure have been lifelong friends. It’s life.
I understand moving on over time. But it looked like after they got back from their hike, they parted and were no longer friends.
shareThey had tree forts, secret hand shakes, passwords etc.
No doubt they were friends after those two or so days and even at least a few years after...it was a small town and they had years of school left.
Older Gordi says that over time they seen less of the other to (Vern and Teddy).
shareThey were about to start Jr. High after that weekend. I hung out with a kid for a year and a half before jr. high all the time. Then when we started Jr High we never talked to each other because of different social cliques and it was instant. To this day I went golfing with him once, by chance because we have a bunch of other friends in common. We have both moved away from our home city and by coincidence still live in the same city. I go in to the store that he manages and we see each other and never acknowledge one another. The movie nails the concept of friends drifting apart.
shareFor me, the movie, or at least the 50s part of the movie, should have ended with the narration while they're walking back after the showdown with Ace.
Adult Gordy could easily have mentioned the part about when happened to Teddy and Vern during this.
The scenes when they get back to Castle Rock are very awkward and take all the momentum out of the story. Plus, the uncomfortable silences followed by the adult Gordy talking about how they saw less and less of each other, could lead the viewer to think that they'd fallen out during the events of the 2/3 days we're shown in the movie. Hence this thread!
Exactly! I got the impression that they stopped being friends that day, or because of their trip.
shareIt's not as much as not being friends but not seeing them anymore. Schools starts to push you to people who'll be on the same career paths as one another by virtue of the courses that one will need to be a college student versus a vo-tech student. I know that happened to me in high school. And it's not that I'm no longer "friends" with these people, I just don't have any contact. There's no animosity between any of us that I'm aware of and if I ran into any of them again I'd like to think we'd get along pretty well but I'm sure some would feel kind of put off by it.
shareThey gradually drifted apart until they “became just faces in the hall.” Life just took them in different directions. The movie makes no suggestion that they had a falling out.
shareOk. I took it that at the end, when they all parted, that somehow they were not friends anymore.
shareI had two really good friends around those ages and I haven't talked to them since my childhood. No falling out...I started getting really bad social anxiety and pushed my friend's away. I haven't had a friend that wasn't on-line since my highschool years. Probably never will again.
shareI know that feeling. I just really don't like going out that much anymore. Plus most people I meet, I have little to nothing in common with.
shareThis is exactly what happened with my childhood friends. In high school we almost acted like strangers to each other because we had other friends by then.
shareThe way I see it, that's one of the big messages of this whole movie and story.
Events in life change and affect people, and when you're kids, you're similar in nature and personality, because you're kids, and haven't yet fully grown into your personalities. Your personality is still partially sleeping and latent inside of you, so everyone is more or less the 'same' in many ways that matter. Kids being kids, liking the same things, even if their budding personalities are different, are still in the same boat and can feel like they're 'soul mates' in some sense.
However, when people's personalities start opening up inside of them, their ambitions become stronger, their goals and life-plans clearer, their spiritual level more obvious, suddenly everyone is so different, that unless you just happen to have very similar personalities and spiritual level, you're just very different people all of the sudden, and it's only natural to drift away from each other.
This movie shows beautifully how it happens; let's say you are of 'childlike nature' as a personality, you fit right in with other kids. But when the other kids suddenly develop interests in careers and get jobs as doctors and football stars and become busy and work-n-family-oriented, suddenly you don't fit in with the other adults anymore with that same 'childlike nature'. Perhaps the others had 'childlike nature' only temporary, because they were kids, and you had it as a personality trait, so you still have it.
In other words, it can feel like you never changed, but everyone else did, you would still fit in with that group, but the group itself changed, people changed into boring adults, although they used to be creative, independently-thinking, exploration-loving kids, now they're just career-oriented, hard-working conformists that mostly think about money and other 'adult things' and no longer have room in their minds for 'free discussions' or throwing pebbles into a coffee can.
So, no matter how good friends you are as kids, it's just a fact of life, that Charlie Brown's wish that everyone could just always stay together, can't be relied upon. People leave.
People die.
People move. People push you out of their lives, or have you push them. People marry and get busy, have no more time for you.
People find other friends, other interests that do not align with yours.
Someone that moved far away and made new friends and interests and became busy, doesn't necessarily hate you or deliberately push you out of their life, it just organically becomes a very separate existence that doesn't have connection to your circle anymore.
Life, karma and existence happens..
The point is, you can't control it. You can't force it. You can't prevent someone from dying or moving far away, even to another country. You are completely powerless to prevent your group splitting up and people forgetting you.
But that's okay, because we all came to this world alone, and we will all leave this world alone, even if you leave at the same, exact time. You still have to exit your physical body alone.
So it's only clingy to think a group can be together forever, and this movie poignantly shows it. There's time for everything, so there was a time for their group and friendship, and then it was over, and it was time for something else. In the movie's case, the protagonist's OWN kids and family.
Sadly people change. When I think of my closest friends at the age of these characters we rarely speak. A few of us have reunited on Facebook but we are all different people now. Personally, this hurts me because they meant so much to me and I still think of the great friendship we had. One of them has even blocked me on Facebook because she didn't like something I posted on Facebook. After she blocked me I logged out of Facebook and looked at her page. She pretty much posted "I don't care how long I have known you, if you put the American flag in your profile then you are a bigot, racist and no friend of mine." She's American too by the way. This was 3yrs ago and it still hurts because she's in most of my childhood photos as we spent holidays together with each other's families. My parents are still good friends with hers. I can't believe someone who was like a sister to me would do that. I knew she had strong opinions and respected them. What's even sadder to me if our daughters were close too and talked online often. As kids they were penpals then once old enough they spoke by email, chat and then texting. Even Facetimeing, now the daughter won't even talk to my daughter.
Another good friend of mine who was also like a sister totally changed once we became 13. We were both tomboys but suddenly like overnight, she joined in with the popular girl crowd, became a cheerleader & just made it clear I wasn't her friend anymore.
The main friend whoever kept in touch with me over the years suddenly passed away before we were 40. Kinda like how it happens here in Stand By Me, but sadly it was suicide. We both struggled with depression as young teens and teens. We use to say we'd never make it to 40. Twice as a teen she talked me out of suicide. Then as adults, I did that for her late one night. But, eventually, she did end her life. I'm still heartbroken over that.
I'd say Stand By Me really does give a good view of how friendship changes over the years.
I actually misinterpreted the ending. I thought that when they parted at the end of the movie, they were no longer friends at that point.
I totally relate to you about the friend who turned against you. My best friend in high school moved away middle of sophomore year (We met in high school and quickly became best friends.) She had grown up here, then her family suddenly moved to Argentina, where her father was from. We kept in touch and even told each other we felt closer to each other than to "friends" near us. She was always saying how she resented her father for making her move there, how much better her life in the US was. Then she moved to Brazil and got into this crowd that hated the US and all the people (they thought all of us got new cars every year and live in huge homes) and if they said something against the US and I spoke in defense, she deleted my posts (this was on Facebook) and stopped answering my e-mails. Her crowd was also the "alternate lifestyle" types who expected others to respect how they lived (which people should) but thought they should not respect the choices of others (so, if I went there and said I only wanted to date a man who was born male) they would set me up with a girl with her boobs taped down pretending to be a man, just to "teach me a lesson". And she was cool with that. She also said if I was going to "antagonize" her friends by defending the US when they slam it, she'd block me. So that friendship ended.
Wow, I'm so sorry that happened. I'll never understand how people can just forget past friendships like this and never look back. Childhood friendship is what shapes our life and my memories of childhood include friends as much as family. I guess people who do that have less empathy and compassion. Once I hit my teens I moved so much that I learned to hold on to the friendships I have because it is a rare thing these days. I'm often jealous when I see people say they've had a friend for 30-40yrs. But, I guess that is life. I have done my best to teach my kids to value friendship. One of my daughter's though had to recently cut off a friendship as it has become toxic. This girl is drinking too much and getting involved with things that are not safe. So for my daughter's own safety and sanity, it was for the best. It tears me up inside as it hurts her and this girl has been like a daugther to me, but sometimes you have to follow tough love.
shareIf it becomes toxic, as in your daughter's case, that is completely understandable.
The funny thing with the friend I mentioned above, she always liked the "bi-boys" and the "androgynous" types. I suspected she was also bi, but it never came up and I never cared. Until she totally went off the deep end with it and decided that my choices shouldn't matter.
Hopefully, your daughter's former friend will straighten out.
During my childhood and teenage years my family moved sixteen (16) times. Making new friends over and over and over, then suddenly moving to another town, isn't conducive to lifelong relationships.
shareWhen you’re a kid, and you see less of someone (different school classes etc) you drift apart. It’s natural and happens to just about everyone. It does say as time went on, so it wasn’t all of a sudden, but school was starting. Gordie had even mentioned them being in different classes. You meet new people and life goes on.
I think as an adult it may not happen as much, because you tend to nurture friendships a little more.
It just happens, people head off in different directions. A lot of us have probably not seen our childhood or teenaged friends in decades.
shareIt makes no sense- i lost friendships with kids from grade school when we went to middle school, but that was because we didn't live close to each other. These 4 guys all lived near each other so why did they have to stop seeing each other because school started? They cant hang out after school?
shareIt seemed like Gordie and Chris wound up on an academic track and Vern and Teddie focused on the Tradesman route. This does still happen in schools here in The States. The kids just wind up meeting a new group of classmates and everyone moves on. It’s a bummer but not uncommon.
shareGordy and Chris continued to develop intellectually and emotionally, while Vern and Teddy stayed at the middle-school level. They no longer had anything in common. G & C were probably embarrassed by the juvenile antics of the other two after a while.
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