Whoever started the things I learned threads is a genius! This movie is a perfect fit.
1. I can walk around a hospital wearing combat boots, a greasy face, and giant bowie knife with studded hand guard and nobody will notice me.
2. I can drive a old car off the third floor of a parking garage through the metal guard rails and not only will it be able to continue running but it will be able to participate in a high speed chase.
Junk food makes you violent.
shareI learned from watching Cobra that the reason there is so much crime in Los Angelas is that all of the mug shots, fingerprints and any other valuable evidence is kept in one police officer's apartment, instead of headquarters, where another renegade cop or two could review it.
sharethe greatest responses ever to this thread!
"I like the taste of flavor" Me
-shotguns can make a tanker blow up with just 1 shot!
-whenever there is a scene with 2 cars driving on a hill in the road they have 2 keep showing the clip OVER AND OVER!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=9260612021&ref=mf
The best place to dispose a read newspaper is in the barbecue grill.
Supermarket lights mysteriously shut off when a serial killer starts shooting.
When somebody steals your parking space and rips your undershirt off, the best way to retaliate is to weakly kick the car tire.
A giant flashing advertisement logo on an apartment wall will not disturbe tenants.
Kicking a jukebox in a diner will not startle any employees.
Cobra ripped his undershirt off because he knew the dude was wearing a wire.
The dude isn't going to attack him because he'd get fired ---> He's from internal affairs trying to get dirt on Cobra. Should be obvious as you can see the wire on his chest...
According to the commentary, that was a mistake. The microphone taped to the guy's chest wasn't supposed to be visible.
Or something like that.
?. Only wusses and ass holes are interested in non-violent solutions. Or that's what I would have learned from this if I was a sucker.
"There is no escape, John!"
1- Before making entry inside a dark grocery store on a hostage/active shooter situation, you go in alone WITH sunglasses on, because impairing your vision is essential to shootout survival.
2- Even after you make entry into a dark grocery store with a hostage/active shooter situation, NEVER draw your gun from the crotch of your tight jeans until the absolute last second that you'll shoot it because giving the suspect an advantage in a shootout is essential to shootout survival.
3- When a hostage taker has already killed people and is on the verge of killing more, get on a PA/speaker system and tell him how "lousy of a shot" he is and that you plan on "wasting" him, that way the hostage taker knows there's no hope.
4- The only thing that will make you take off your sunglasses and show concern is when a Toys R Us Christmas commercial comes on following a news cast about the "Night Slasher".
5- All hostage situations are handled by a solo officer, even though hundreds are on scene and have surrounded the building.
6- A piece of s**t gray 4-door Dodge vehicle with two psycho passengers armed with a shotgun will outrun an "AWSOM 50" 1950 Mercury every time....until the "AWSOM 50" turns on it's nitrous.
7- Doing a 180 on a busy freeway with one hand while wielding a submachine gun in the other hand and blowing up a pursuing truck with a camper shell on just a few bullets will cause the truck to bounce in the air and flip forward.
8- Gonzalez talks too much.
9- All cops have a computer terminal at home which gives them direct access to look up criminals.
10- Cobra knows he has "just a little" attitude problem.
11- Carrying a Colt .45 in plain view in the crotch of your jeans without any visible identifying features (badge, etc.) to clearly identify yourself as law enforcement does not panic anyone in the public and doesn't make people call the police.
12- Monty thinks Cobretti is the "Psycho"
13- When you bust in with your Colt on the hostage taker in the meat section of the grocery store, always jump through the doorway with no cover whatsoever, you need to give the suspect a full view of your body so it's easier for him to shoot you.
Some great entries here, but I'll play!
-"Marion" is a catchy name for a man.
-When you're on the Zombie Squad, it's OK to leave your injured, bleeding teammate to the mercies of a new order motorbike cult.
-When you're making a statement about society, it's easy to hold a conversation with someone 20 feet away in a working foundry while speaking in a whisper.
-Red laser scopes are cool (this is always true).
-Fragmentation grenades can only be used on one person at a time.
-It was a lot easier to get rid of witnesses before everyone had a cell phone.
-When you're a witness on the run, it's OK to wear full make-up and a cheap wig to bed.
-Manners are the core value of the Zombie Squad ("I was just waiting for you to say 'please'.")
-Glasses are the most important aspect to any disguise. If necessary, kill to get them.
-Nothing's sexier than a woman with straight hips wearing a hip-revealing bikini.
-Committing a hit and run and first degree assault is OK for members of the Zombie Squad, but only if your victim is a racial stereotype.
-When you're really, really ugly, a panty-hose mask is ineffective.
-Shoulder pads are not good accessories for six foot three Swedish Women.
-It's easy to take long, curly hair and make it look like short, spiky hair. To do the opposite is strictly impossible.
-Hot, blonde nurses always get whacked.
Axe is the preferred musical instrument of the New World Order.
A random selection of people at a random store constitute a homogeneous group of "trash" for the NWO.
Dirtbags are lousy shots.
Depending on the case, Cobra is either "a cure" or "bad for your health."
Fashion photographers are just trying to help models find their happiness.
Sledge Hammer is a part-time fashion photographer.
Pepsi likes not-so-subtle product placement.
Glasses constitute at least 95% of a person's identity.
Large central hospitals are almost vacant at night until someone hits the alarm.
"Please" is the magic word.
Attitude problems come in various sizes.
It's not very important for your superiors/fellow officers to try and solve a leak that nearly led to a murder of a protected witness. After all, "it's your show."
Also, protecting a witness involves car chases, drive-by-shootings, explosions and a near-fatal crash as a contingency plan.
...on the other hand, you've got to have faith.
An officer would kill for some gummy bears.
I learned that an apparent steelmill actually consentrates on producing other
goods/products than steel, such as flashing lights, sparks and flames. Don't get me wrong, fire for instance is very important for people. And they propably use some of that heat to make some actual steel, and I think, from that small amount of produced steel, they manufacture large hooks. So they can be rotated around their little flamefactory for impaling large, sweaty, greasy psychos. Wait, maybe it's an industrial style BBQ house...?
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its quite appropriate for hospital nurses to wear their hair in long pony-tails
procedural police office-work such as reviewing mug-shots is best done whilst wearing black leather gloves
1) If you're in a hospital bathroom, and a 6-foot Neanderthal with glasses and a mad-crazy knife is hacking the door to matchsticks, it's always a good idea to tell him to "Stop this at once!" (Never know unless you try, right?)
2)If you're running for your life from said Neanderthal, and having been forced to endure agonizing terror and save your own life by hitting a fire alarm, be grateful and hug the cop who abandoned you to your fate some hours earlier.
3) When Cobra is not eating pizza with scissors, he's barbecuing newspapers.
4) A good way to "clean up your act" is to become Cobra's parking valet.
5) If you're going to sell robots made from toasters, use a 6-foot blonde Danish woman.
6) Drinking a can of Coors makes you target practice for shotgun-wielding Hispanic terrorists, and really messes up Pepsi's advertising campaign.
7- John Rambo is actually working undercover as an italian-american LAPD detective;
8- LAPD detectives have more guns than a small army;
9- LAPD doesn't need a SWAT team, they have Marion Cobretti;
"You're a funny man, Sully, I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last."
Shaking down suspects involves asking people on the street what's going on and then meekly turning away; this is only done as a last resort
You should leave grenades behind you so you can shoot them to kill your pursuers rather than just taking a clear shot with your machine gun
Giving a girl a giant plastic hamburger is a great pickup move
A guy dowsed in gasoline has the right to remain silent
When you think the police department has a leak, you should take an officer that you don't know to hide out with you
The new world order hates watermelons
You'd be crazy not to want to sleep with Brigette Nielsen after you've seen her with a jerry curl
Industrial hooks are razor sharp
1. When protecting and relocating a witness after an attack it is best to leave in the most conspicuous vehicle possible and lay rubber for a full block.
2. When attempting to eliminate a witness riding in vehicle, it is best to shoot out both headlights and drive off, letting witness and protector then pursue you.
3. A 38 caliber bullet can turn on an entire steel factory.
4. Steel factories can have huge vats of fully melted steel in a matter of minutes after said bullet turns factory on.
5. When turning on a fuel valve to spew flames on the villain, it is not important to first make sure that the nozzle is not nearby or underneath you, because it is always far away and aimed at the enemy.
6. It is normal for Police Precincts to have it's shooting range right across the hall from office cubicles.
7. When giving a police report about where a particular crime took place in Los Angeles, "the underpass" is a sufficient address.
8. When modifying your own hot rod with nitrous, it is important to label the switch "nitrous" in case you later forget what the switch was for.
1. An average build janitor's uniform will magically fit a great hulking man
2. Gang leaders are convinced the renegade cop after them will play by the rules in a final confrontation - even if he's just wasted his entire gang.
Props to Anfinke. Two great entries:
7. When giving a police report about where a particular crime took place in Los Angeles, "the underpass" is a sufficient address.
8. When modifying your own hot rod with nitrous, it is important to label the switch "nitrous" in case you later forget what the switch was for.
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I didn't read all the way through, so forgive me if this has been mentioned...
Thing I learned...
1) The film is 14 minutes shorter than the DVD cover promised it would be.
Never defend crap with "It's just a movie"
http://www.youtube.com/user/BigGreenProds
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Lol all the best ones have already been said but...
1. When you are in a car chase being pursued by a cop at high speed and the cop flicks his nitrous switch to catch up to you, the best thing to do is strike your steering wheel quickly and repeatedly.
2. It's not enough that the Night Slashers like to drive around in vans killing random people to create a new world order, they also deem it appropriate from time to time to sexually assault a child.
3. Whenever there are several murders committed over a short period of time, regardless of how different the murders are from each other, the police and media will assume that all the murders were committed by a "night slasher"
4. Cobra is the worlds best shot with a handgun. He can hit the same bullet hole in a target repeatedly.
5. After bad guys shoot a cop in a leg during a big shootout,rather than finish him off, they will immediately forget about him.
6.Bad guys will not use machineguns during drive-by shootings. They will use two-shot shotguns and call it a day after shooting out the headlights of the witness's car. *Put pinkie finger to lip in Dr Evil fashion*
7. Judges never convict anyone. Cobra brings them in, the judges set them free.
8. Killers with sniper rifles are always relunctant to shoot, even when their target is in their sights. Instead they wait until their target ducks behind a tree and then they will shoot at the leaves.
9. Said leaves are bullet-proof.
10. When a SWAT team is uinable to get inside a grocery store where hostages are being held, the solution to the problem is to send one man waltzing in through the front door.
11. Crazies holding hostages will always move away from the front door just to give Cobra a chance to stealthily come walking in.
1. Violence comes from sugar.
2. When you're offering a career boost to a model if she sleeps with you, you are NOT doing if for yourself.
3. The court is civilized.
4. There's no money for a new 1950 Mercury Monterey in police budget.
"Flash, Flash, I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!"
Things I learned from reading this thread
1. nobody likes continuous numbering in this thread
From Cobra
1. sugar and cake is bad for you, but ultra-fattening, cholesterol ladden, super salty cheese and fish are good substitutes.
2. You lecture your partner on poor eating b/c he should be eating frozen pizza str8 out of the freezer like you.
3. If your partner turns on you, you must denounce her as bitch you never liked to save face in spite of being friendly with each other up to then.
4. An egg carton is a good hiding place for your gun cleaning kit.
5. Stopping for a beer before a hostage situation is smart police work.
6. You lecture your partner on his violent remarks against your superior b/c you only have a little attitude problem but go on to punch out your superior at the end of the film.
Things I learned from the brain dead commentary track
1. Close ups of spit flying out of mouths while scornfully saying "pig!" creates more suspense.