1. Chicks cannot hold their smoke, that's what it is.
2. Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.
3. If you scream loud enough you can shatter glass
4. It's wrong to destroy literature
5. Captain Crunch and Sugar makes a great sandwich
6. You needed a license to vote back then
7. To become a wrestler all you need is a lobotomy and some tights
8. Claire is a fat girls name
9. When you grow up, your heart dies
10. Too many ppl getting out of their seats leads to anarchy
share11. It is not cool to raid Barry Manilow's wardrobe
12. The *beep* elephant didn't light up
13. You should always raise your fist walking alone through a football field
14. Some people are just better at hiding it
15. Bender's dad and Andrew's dad should have a beer together.
16. Larry Lester has hairy buns
17. Allison had nothing better to do
18. Being "Man of the Year" at your high shcool can lead to a great career in the Custodial Arts if one was wondering
19. $31,000 per year being a teacher was great money in 1985 and Bender won't screw that up
20. Dating Bender is a great way to get back at your parents
21. Mr Vernon... is a brownie hound
22. Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other.... is a great set up
23. Andrew can tape all of our buns together
24. Brian can make spaghetti
25. Claire doesn't understand pressure.
26. Without lamps, there would be no light.
27. Everyone is bizarre.
28. Vernon is crazy make the kids write an essay thinking who think they were.
29. Carl looks through the student's letters lockers and listens to their conversations.
30. The clock in the library is 20 minutes fast.
Re: #19 My first full time teaching job was in 1989. I made about $24K and thought it was fair.
shareI think that all depends on where you live and what the cost of living is. When my dad retired from teaching in 1979, he was making under $14k, but where we lived, our rent was $90 a month.
---
I'm just expressing my opinion.
You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas.
31. If you mess with the bull you get the horns
32. Weed makes you want to dance?
33. Physics club is demented and sad, but social.
34. Mr. Vernon is going to knock Bender's dick in the dirt.
34. People like Mr. Vernon-he's a swell guy.
35. Bender liked the trick Clare did with her lipstick
36. Andrew doesn't wear tights, he wears the required uniform.
37. If Brian says one more word, Andrew is beating the sh&*t out of him.
38. Andrew's an idiot anyway but if he says he gets along with his parents, he's a liar too.
39. It's impossible for Bender's dope to catch on fire because it's in Brian's underwear.
40. Talking about sex makes Clare want to puke and make obscene finger gestures.
41. Hiding your dope in a dorks underwear is a great place.
42. Brian is a parent's wet dream.
43. If you open Bender's locker you'll die, F@G!
44. Brian's mom married Mr. Johnson, not Mr. Rogers
45. Mr. Vernon's wife can't make coffee.
46. A flare gun at school in 1985 wasn't a big deal.
47. Brian's the smartest
48. You know what happens if you spill paint in the Bender family garage.
49. Daily life at the Bender household.
50. In 5 years, John Bender will be pretty g*d damn funny.
Oh, by the way, which one's Pink?
[deleted]
60. Brian has a girlfriend in Canada.
61. Moliere pumps Benders nads.
62. Brian loves his work.
[deleted]
63. Nerds are all the same, jocks are all the same, and the same goes for burnouts, popular chicks and weird chicks. They are all the same. You just need to look at how someone dresses or what car his/her parents drive, and all the other traits will neatly fall in line.
64. Wait a minute! People are not all the same! And I should feel ashamed of myself for seeing people as I want to see them. I should not be so quick to categorize people, even fictional people who are written to be stereotypical charicatures.
_______________
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
[deleted]
- The high school 'criminal' is a good public speaker who has clear thoughts on how the school should be run which other students will sit quietly to hear.
share69. Carl is the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends.
If God exists, why did he make me an atheist? That's his first mistake. That and the talking snake.
Teachers don't realise that their job involves work. They choose the job in order to have an easy life. They also hate children and have no problem with threatening to beat them up.
sharethat chicks can not hold their smoke.
72) They don't call roll in detention.
73) Claire won't take a guy's tongue in her mouth, but she'll eat raw fish.
74) Dandruff makes great snowflakes on your drawing.
75) To dorks like Brian, academic clubs are the same as regular clubs.
76) Claire is the only honest one.
77) Don't ask Verner to break a 50.
78) Alison's hypothetical friends are a lot nicer and more accepting of others than Claire's, Andy's, or John's real friends.
79) Carl never did explain to Bender just how one becomes a janitor.
81.) Milk might not be made available to them.
82.) Allison needs to find better things to do.
83.) Always check your pants for toilet seat coverings before you leave the bathroom.
84.) Bring weed to detention! It makes it more interesting.
85.) Larry Lester was not one of Andrews friends.
86.) Bender has his ear pierced.
87.) Bender had listened to the song "sunshine of your love"
88.) Claire carries a lot of sh** in her purse.
89.) Brian smokes weed.
90.) According to Bender, Brian is a Neo-Maxi-Zoomdweebie.
88.) Claire carries a lot of sh** in her purse.
92. Claire is a fat girl's name.
93. Brian made a fake ID so he could vote.
94. We know who are virgins in this group: Brian, Claire, and Allison. Why do I have the feeling Bender and Andy have done it?
95. Both old mans of Bender and Andy should get together and go bowling.
96. Shop is NOT necessarily easy.
97. Bender could care less about trig.
98. The guy on Wild Kingdom has been doing that show for 30 years.
99. Brian's mother didn't marry Mr. Rogers, but Mr. Johnson.
100. Brian's dad works at the school.
101. Brian always sets his watch to the clock in the library.
102. Brian loves Moliere.
103. Brian is in several clubs.
104. Andy had a meet right after detention.
[deleted]