Lines you're just WAITING to use in real life

My roommate and I quote Inspector Wang all the time. "Uh...not quite" (which he says when answering Bensonmum--"You are Mr. and Mrs. Charleston?") and also "Is stupid! Is most stupid theory I ever heard!"

Oh, and once we pressed the elevator button and then had to go back to the apartment to get something, and my roommate was like, the elevator went down without us! And I said, "Elevator filled with...empty people."




"Listen very carefully. I shall say this only once."

The day I get to call someone a demented lollipop will be a good day.

I love every line Eileen Brennan had. She has a very dry and deadpan way of delivering a line.

Tess Skeffington: "There's nothing on him 'til '46, when he was picked up in El Paso, Texas, for trying to smuggle a truckload of rich white Americans across the border into Mexico to pick melons."
Sam Diamond: "I think we picked ourselves a queer bird, angel."



Tess Skeffington: "His mother was a Roman Catholic, his father was an
Orthodox Jew. They were separated two hours after the marriage."


Tess Skeffington: "He was arrested in 1932 in Chicago for selling pornographic Bibles. The D.A. couldn't make the charge stick when the church refused to turn over the Bibles."


Tess Skeffington: "Twain picked up Sam in a gay bar."
Sam Diamond: "I was working on a case! Working.
Tess Skeffington: Every night for six months?"


Tess Skeffington: "He was very good to me. He would take me to the circus and give me candy. We stopped going when I was about......... twenty-six. I'm sorry, Sam."
Sam Diamond: "Twenty-six? What the hell kind of a circus was it?"


Tess Skeffington: "I'm scared, Sam. Hold me."
Sam Diamond: "Hold yourself. I'm busy."

"Answer simple, but question very hard."

"That can only mean one thing. And I don't know what it is."

"Room filled with empty people."

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BEST LINE EVER!!

YOU DEMENTED LOLLIPOP!!!

That's one I'm going to start using on a daily basis!!

Its a long time since I saw it, but I used to love it and watched it a lot. There are certain lines that stick in the mind. (I may not have them all word perfect, but like I say its been years. I will have the important bits right :).

"Oh Dickie, thats old news!"

"My kid brother went the same way... That boy woulda been 63 on Tuesday."

"Sam why /do/ you always keep those muscle man books in your desk drawer?"
"Suspects baby. Always lookin for suspects."

"I'm not a Frenchy. I'm a Belgy"

"I prefer to be called Rita!"

Then there's the great moment when they pour the wine on the table and it turns out to be acid and burns the table-cloth. They're all congratulating whoever it was who guessed this, when Milo calmly says 'Cheers' and drinks his wine, and then explains to the shocked group that he knew that his glass would be OK..... and then collapses with a groan. :) Brilliant timing from Mr Coco here. Its so predictable: he is being so smug that you just KNOW he is going to collapse any second. And yet when he actually does, its still hilarious. :)) That's great comic acting right there.

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"Maybe I should go alone"
- Quint, Jaws.

I would love to blurt out "SHOOOOOOOOEEEES!"

My ex husband's name is Richard. I used to refer to him as my Dickie.

"So shines a good deed in a weary world."

Next time someone calls you on the phone, try answering by saying HELLO. The results will be hilarious. Think of the look on the face of the caller who hears you respond with HELLO. I'm totally guffawing now just imagining it. OMG, I think I wet myself.