He tore our carpet! - The Three Musketeers (1974) Discussion

[–] Shade2 20 years ago

"I say Sir, before you go can you spare any... Before you climb that ladder, Sir!"
I love these moments of dialogue throughout the films.

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[–] BijouBob8mm 20 years ago

In a cinematic chest filled to the brim with gems, it's hard to pick a single favorite. This is one of the most rewatchable films I've ever seen. It would be great to see a "Director's Cut" of this, in which THE THREE MUSKETEERS and FOUR MUSKETEERS were cut together into one single epic, the way it was originally planned. The most jarring thing would be the soundtrack, though. For some reason Michael LeGrand was replaced by Lalo Schiffren on FOUR MUSKETEERS. While I like Schiffren, I felt LeGrand's score was much better.

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[–] shandy8 19 years ago

When the queen is riding on the carousel saying "oh, make it go faster...whip them. I feel wonderful...I feel...I feel sick!"

Spike Milligan: "You think that you alone have friends in high places! The Cardinal took my hand and called me friend."

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[–] meddle712002 19 years ago

How about, where Rochefort (Lee) is facing the firing squad, and they keep missing him, which prompts him to mutter "why bother, I may die of old age."
I loved Christopher in this one, the entire cast were terrific! Funny lines throughout.

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[–] rgaretho 19 years ago

My favourite is when the very English Oliver Reed say's of (the equally English) Simon Ward: "He sounded a touch foreign."

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[–] kreenmage 19 years ago

"I forgot, sir. England is an island. How does one... get off?"

"So that's how they do it? From now on I shall wear my shirts with more respect!"

"You there! Without the eye!"

When the valet keeps finding sticks to bash Rochefort with in that one fight.

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[–] gibsonc 19 years ago

When Spike Milligan is about to be tortured and, having his arms twisted behind his back, says "Ow! That hurts!" and the torturer replies (in a very friendly fashion) "It's supposed to!"

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[–] pamlover 19 years ago

For me the best moment was when great Michael York lands litteraly in the ass of arrogant Faye Dunaway ruining her plans.

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[–] ubu55 19 years ago

"A perfectly good reason for attacking a stranger in the dark!"
the Duke to D'Artagnan at their first meeting.

"She's gained weight." said by one of the porters as milady gets out of a sedan chair.

When the little people are standing around with plates of candy(?) on their heads for the king. "Oh! He's taken one of mine!"

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[–] terrythomas 19 years ago

"They were going to take me to the bastille, where they snip very important parts off people!"

Or something to that effect. I love Spike Milligan in the movie; thought he was sorely missed in THE FOUR MUSKETEERS.

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[–] spindle_web 19 years ago

Haha that bit when Spike Milligan says that the toturers are "very unsympathetic men"

The script is SO funny!!!

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[–] meddle712002 19 years ago

Chamberlain: "There, there, charity is one of the cardinal virtues".
"Money for a cripple"
"Decidedly a buttercup, or a cheese with legs"

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[–] bulldawg8110 18 years ago

-"Don't act like you know one from the other or that it would make any difference in your treatment if you did"- Athos

- The scene where Spike Milligan is trying to shoot Christopher Lee, and he fails miserably.

-And from The Four Musketeers, the most hardcore line ever: "On your knees, little man. Before you master."- The Cardinal

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[–] heckles 18 years ago

"That is him! That is the man!!!" - "Take him away!" - "That is -not- the man! It was some other man! It was not that man at all!"

and

"YOU HAVE DECEIVED ME!" "I have deceived?? -- OW! I have deceived you!!"

What can I say, Spike Milligan was hilarious.

"Quit whining. I evaded your vital organs." --Motoko Aoyama

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[–] masterron1 18 years ago

Richelieu: If I failed as You do my head would fall
Rochefort: I should say from a greater height than mine, Your Eminence.

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] fatcouchpotato 18 years ago

My opinion on funniest part is when D'Artagnan arrives in Paris and after meeting the guy who hires men to be Musketeers pulls out his sword so it can be inspected by the Monsignor and it is broken.. The Monsignor then says: "Maybe you can borrow one of mine until yours grows longer." I'm probably not recalling that 100%, but it has been 15 years since I've seen the movie.

The Metal Man From Titan

"Till All Are One!"

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] Brenapp 18 years ago

Christopher Lee: You will come with me.

Spike Milligan: Oh no I won't! Oh no I won't!

(He tries to shoot him; fails)

Christopher Lee: You will come with me.

Spike Milligan: I will come with you...

****ing hilarious.

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[–] imspartacus56 18 years ago

all of the above - hilarious script.

Just a minor thing regarding the title of this thread - the line is 'He's torn our carpet!'
A minor quibble, but i actualy got to say this line to Michael York when I was an extra in a forgettable 1984 movie entitled 'Success is the Best Revenge'that he starred in. As I recall, Mr. York was less than amused; ahh the follies of youth.

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[–] meddle712002 18 years ago

Ha Ha he musta heard that a billion times by then. I would've liked to seen his face. I think though celebs oughta be happy and proud that people give a damn about their work though. Musta been in a bad mood that day. Did you say that upon first meeting him?

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[–] imspartacus56 18 years ago

It would be stretching the point to say I actually met him. It was after shooting a scene where he was addressing a group of people (extras) which included me. Any chance of meeting the great man was pretty much squashed after that. I probably ruined the scene for them, but what did I know; I was 20 years old and a dickhead. i am now older and, I hope, wiser. Better was the time I got stuck in a lift with Dr. Who actor, Jon Pertwee. When i suggested that he fix the broken lift using his 'sonic screwdriver' I was told to *beep* Off!'

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[–] meddle712002 17 years ago

Ha Ha better to have Dr. Who tell you to *beep* off! What an honour!

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[–] sir_marmalade 17 years ago

Ship's Captain: "This pass is only for one person"
D'Artagnan: "I am only one person. That is a servant"
Ship's Captain: "I see"

Dwarves' conversation at the King's party
1st dwarf: "I said to her 'do it once more I'll punch you in the throat'
2nd dwarf: "Look out! Here she is now! She didn't hear did she?"
1st dwarf: "Here, that's not her, she's got bigger feet"

Oliver Reed to Faye Dunaway
Athos: "Have you ever seen a woman shot in the stomach? You know me Milady..."

Christopher Lee to Michael York
Rochefort: "Be advised Gascon! Turn and run"

"Tinkerty tonk," I said, and I meant it to sting.

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[–] stephan-128 16 years ago

Spike Milligan "That, that is the man!"
"Take him away."
Milligan: "That is NOT the man!"

So many great lines in this movie. Its like a comedy within an action/romance/ epic. More movies should use this approach. Really realistic fighting, serious acting by most of the leads, and comic asides by all the bit players. What a great formula.

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[–] imspartacus56 16 years ago

MILADY: He has assaulted me, insulted me,...
ATHOS: Since when has it been possible to insult YOU!?

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[–] davidwoodall 16 years ago

Porthos: Put down your sword, sir!
Biscaret: Never!
Guard captain: Surrender, Biscaret. I order you.
Biscaret: Oh. That's different.

Mons. Bonasieux: She is a delicate... [Constance noisily falls down the stairs]... AS A FLOWER!!!

Follow that bear!

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[–] heckles 16 years ago

<<Christopher Lee: You will come with me.

Spike Milligan: Oh no I won't! Oh no I won't!

(He tries to shoot him; fails)

Christopher Lee: You will come with me.

Spike Milligan: I will come with you...

****ing hilarious.>>

Particularly amusing was the way Lee ambles over to him like he's never in danger of actually being shot, and calmly lifts the pistol from Milligan's hand.

WWDDD What would Don Draper do?

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[–] grendelkhan 15 years ago

In an interview, Christopher Lee said he asked Milligan where the clumsy loading of the pistol came from. Milligan claimed it was from his father, when they lived in Malaysia (I think) and the house was threatened. Brilliant comedian.

My personal favorite is from the Four Musketeers (I think). D'Artagnan comes to romance Milady, but finds only Kitty. After a romp with her, Milady shows up and she and D'Artagnan have a bit of a roll. At the end, you see the flower that D'Artagnan brought drooping. Brilliant visual metaphor.

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