Only commenting on the first point here - it's not so much that Sonny revealed what he was thinking, it's more that he indicated an interest in the deal after Vito had made clear to Solozzo that he wasn't interested, that it would be bad for business etc
The family needed to present a united front here and Sonny's question about the Tattaglias guaranteeing security ruined it all, and, as others on this thread have already said, it proved to be a very bad move on Sonny's part because Solozzo's knowledge that Sonny was "hot for" the deal led to the attempt on Vito and the subsequent warring between the families.
There's a similar situation much later when Fredo fails to show solidarity with the new Don's stance against Moe Greene. Michael is a lot more direct and clear in his wording here though, so there's no confusion.
Put it another way - if Sonny had expressed a personal opinion against Solozzo - if he'd said something like "we dont give a rat's ass who's guaranteeing what, we're not interested", i doubt Vito would have minded
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