I just researched lower local government positions and am now ready to throw my hat in the ring.
I would like to apply for the position of Arts and Recreation Director.
Parkerbot is interested in Utilities Director. You will never have to worry about sewage buildup again.
Will you please vote for us?
parkerbot should not be in any position of power.
shareI see it's time to break out the political promises. What if I got him to agree to put Picard's face on every...no...he wouldn't do that.
Hmmm.
What if I promised it would snow every day while we're in power? (That's more likely than the Picard thing.)
I will agree that on one day a year, I will concede that Picard is almost as good as Kirk - every February 31st.
shareSnow everyday and permanent nighttime would be perfect.
shareOkay, I'm going to count that as a vote. Here's your button.
https://imgur.com/a/DpMMv0n
You know, you try to be honest with someone about their singing ability and this is what I get.
I promise that I will let power corrupt me absolutely and do horrible things. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Settle down, Beavis. If they see you throwing these conniption fits they're not going to elect us. People want someone steady overseeing their sewage.
shareI am programmed only to tell the truth.
I will rule with an iron fist! None will be spared!
I'll start by ordering half ply toilet paper for the MovieChat bathroom.
Why don't you go back over to your thread about digging for Star Trek CDs in the Amazon rainforest and let me handle this campaign?
shareI'm afraid you'll start singing and really scuttle our chances.
People like strength, especially when it's unbalanced.
OK Mister. I've held my tongue as long as I can. You do realize I was being silly in those singing clips, right? I was not trying out for the Metropolitan Opera. And I DID hit the notes.
Poopy head!
(This political infighting is NOT going to help our chances.)
I can also hit the high notes when I choose too.
Here's me singing the (really) long version of Stairway To Heaven:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6UR_3ZieE4
I donβt quite know what Iβm voting for, but hat the hell π³οΈ
shareThank you Andy. In retrospect I should have asked you to run with me. However with your far more impressive post count, you probably qualify for one of those mid-range positions like City Manager or Mayor-in-Waiting.
Here is your button, as thanks for your vote.
https://imgur.com/a/DpMMv0n
Yay π
shareEver since Kowalski became mayor, there have been sooooooooo many site politics posts in GD. As site hallway monitor, I demand that you take this post to the board on which it belongs. π€£
shareYOU HAVE MY VOTE.βοΈ
THIS MESSAGE IS FULLY ENDORSED BY ----- MAYOR KOWALSKIβ’οΈ
Thank you. Here is one of our buttons. You can put it on with the hand that's not in use.
https://imgur.com/a/DpMMv0n
This is why I'm the brains on the team and you're the, uhm, fruit.
Everyone knows Kowalski uses two hands.
See, I complimented him while at the same time making it weird.
I thought you were out collecting eggs.
shareWhile you were singing the theme to 227 in your head, I was able to secure election funding from the pickled egg lobby and I am now planted firmly in the pocket of Big Pickle.
I have used the funds provided to buy myself a sold gold jet ski and just so you don't think I forgot about you, I used some of the money to get you a Xerox copy of an autographed picture of Walter Mathhau - you will have to print it out yourself:
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71dcbgd-3SL._AC_SL1500_.jpg
I was also able to get some new campaign buttons made:
http://www.namebadgesandbuttons.com/store/images/products/9750%20i%20call%20them%20shut%20the%20fucupcakes.jpg
You certainly know how to endear yourself to the masses.
I noticed you did not answer my thread about knowing me or not on IMDb. Is that because you're currently blinded by pickled egg money or are you a shady character from my past?
So we're just going to pretend that zerolemons, onelemon, twolemons and threelemons did not exist?
shareI have always existed as fourlemons.
It's just that when I talk to you, I feel like I've talked to you before. Your elusiveness will only heighten my wonderings.
Unlike my lazy running mate, the parkerbot is hitting the cold streets, talking to the peoples, spreading our message of megalomania and whatever it is you bring to the ticket.
Here's my latest offering to the uneducated filthy masses that should vote for us:
https://postimg.cc/LY0Lc048
Your "lazy running mate" had surgery today. I have arisen from the anesthesia finally enough to see what debauchery you've been up to. At least your snow inscription is distantly related to what your job will be.
I think that's the best I can hope for.
Did I mention Big Pickle gave me a shit ton of money?
That ain't snow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GtpGHNAnJY
With our 3.5 votes, I think we can declare ourselves the winners. You can take your poop ton of ill-gotten money now and get to work in the sewer.
share