What did you chemicals watch this week? (04/21-04/27)

Who you calling a chemical?

The Kid Detective 9/10
I haven't seen Toxic Avenger 3 or Psycho Cop Returns.

I watched:

Left Behind 2014 5/10 This isn't good, but at least it is better than the original Left Behind movie. Performances are hit and miss but some of the cast manage to do alright with the material. The writing is fairly weak and I did not like the score. There were a couple good scenes though.

Little Red 2012 7/10 I thought this was a well acted and interesting film.

Don’t Leave Home 2018 5/10 This was pretty boring. The acting is okay and the cinematography is fine, but the story was just not interesting or engaging.

The Martial Arts Kid 2015 6/10 I thought Jansen Panettiere did a decent job in this. Kathryn Newton gave the best performance, but I also enjoyed Kayley Stallings and Sydney Sweeney in supporting roles. The film felt too long and it wasn't completely satisfying, but there were some good moments.

Vikes 2017 6/10 Sydney Sweeney is good, but the film is mediocre.

Dead Ant 2017 6/10 This had some fun and amusing moments. An effective and enjoyable performance from Sydney Sweeney is one of the highlights.

Bennett’s War 2019 6/10 This was okay. It is fairly generic and predictable and only moderately interesting. Performance are fine.

Grummy 2021 9/10 A powerful and haunting short film. Violet McGraw is excellent in a devastating performance.

Stolen from the Suburbs 2015 7/10 Good performances from Cynthia Watros and Sydney Sweeney. This is an effective and well made drama.

A Dozen Summers 2015 7/10 I thought this was cute and enjoyable. Scarlet Hall and Hero Hall are absolutely charming and delightful, giving winning, natural performances. There is some amusing dialogue and clever film references.

The Horde 2016 4/10 This wasn't very good. It should have been more fun or entertaining. It's poorly made and not very enjoyable.

continued...

1. Ghoulies 2 - 3.5/5
2. Necrotronic - 3/5
3. Murphy's Law - 4/5
4. The Sadness- 4/5
5. An American Werewolf in Paris - 3/5
6. Punisher War Zone - 3/5
7. The Suicide Squad 2 - 3/5
8. Abigail - 4/5
9. Toxic Avenger Part III - 2.5/5
10. Psycho Cop Returns - 1.5/5
11. House 1000 Corpses - 3.5/5
12. The Critic TV show - 5/5


Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: Movie Club Recap APR 26-27 https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/joseph-papp/episodes/Movie-Club-Recap-APR-26-27-e2ivrfo

The Toxic Avenger 3: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989) - Kind of prescient that this third entry focuses on dual identities and a hero's self-examination. There's also plenty of crass humor and Troma's signature low budget charm. 6.5

Psycho Cop Returns (1993) - Not that fun. 5

The Kid Detective (2020) - Kind of like 2009's Mystery Team with an even darker bent. It develops from a cute postmodern setup into a corking detective yarn. 7

House of 1000 Corpses (2003) - Not as fun as an Uwe Boll movie, but it still serves as a solid introduction to Rob Zombie's filmography. 5

Also this week:

Napoleon (2023) - Probably the funniest movie that Ridley Scott has done. Not only does Phoenix bring something similar to his Gladiator performance as a petulant malcontent, but Vanessa Kirby also shines as the lady who makes him moan and grunt. 7

Love Battles (2013) - As a greater metaphor for relationships, it's a hoot. 7.5

Street Girls (1975) - Pretty sure that Quentin Tarantino has this movie in regular rotation. Fancy footwork aside, this particular exploitation flick has got a satisfying vibe going for it along with all the sex and nudity. 6.5

V/H/S/99 - 5.0 out of 10, probably the worst of the bunch.

V/H/S/85 - 7.5 out of 10, a nice return to form, enjoyed every story

The Dark Tower - 5.0 out of 10, rewatch, not as horrible as I remembered it but still lukewarm trash

Argyelle - 5.0 out of 10, okay idea but it got stupid pretty fast near the end, although good job for Samuel Jackson on getting paid to watch a basketball game on TV

I’m currently rewatching Joker with Joaquin Phoenix.
Boy he really is excellent in this, a fine performance somewhere between charismatic and quite menacing.

I’d almost compare it to the DeNiro performance in Taxi Driver. He’s not a guy you’d want to hang around with yet oddly you feel some sympathy for him.

My ex used chemicals as part of her skin-care routine; I prefer to bathe in the blood of virgins to maintain my youthful appearance 😆

I haven’t seen Handmaid’s tale.
All I watched were the MCMC movies, and even that I missed Toxie 3 ☹️

Psycho Cop Returns (1993)
For a film titled ‘Psycho Cop,’ it absolutely was not the film I was expecting, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. This really was like a live-action Looney Tunes movie for adults. The cartoon music, the cartoon-comic acting of Psycho Cop, the goofy office workers who were all graduates of Acme Loonaversity... and then there were all the clothing-challenged sexy '90s women lol.

Barbara Niven was by far the best actor in the whole thing and was essentially in a different movie, playing everything straight. She looked gorgeous too 😍. Her performance, juxtaposed with Psycho Cop's goofy acting, made for an interesting contrast. Also, her character seemed to become the protagonist late in the movie's runtime, which is another odd element of this whole thing. Also, there were some killer 80s Hair Metal songs on the soundtrack.

It wasn’t a good movie, but somehow, it all made for an entertaining mess.

BONUS FUN FACT: The killer hair metal songs from the soundtrack were by a band named ‘Smash Alley’ – apparently, they never scored a record deal in the 80s but had a local following on the club circuit. If you search on YouTube you will find an album of theirs released in 2006. 6.5/10

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
I love White Zombie and Rob Zombie's music, but something about his films doesn't work for me. Like, they are off-putting in a way that makes me feel like I need a shower. 5/10

Kid Detective (2020)
Difficult to review without spoilers. Great story, writing, and phenomenal performances by Adam Brody and the entire cast.
One of the best films of the new millennium. 10/10

Happy Death Day (2017)
Groundhog Day the Scream-Style Slasher is a great story with well-written characters. Jessica Rothe was brilliant in it, playing a character with an actual arc. Also, I feel the film made better use of the university setting than Scream 2 (1997) did. My only slight critique is that not all aspects of the story are fully explained by the end; apparently, this is explored in the sequel, which I am looking forward to watching. 8/10

Glass (2019) 6.5/10 This is my second viewing on this movie, and it has some major problems and some good stuff. Everyone agrees McAvoy is brilliant, but Bruce Willis was starting his mental decline here, and isn't given much to do.

Somethings are just so implausible, it's hard to take the movie seriously. The fact that these killers are moving around freely, and doing group therapy. Lastly I probably would have bumped up my rating to 7 if they had not cast the most annoying actress ever, Sarah Paulson.

Couldn't get into Handmaid's tale. Too dreary & depressing for me.

The Kid Detective genuinely surprised me. Was not expecting to enjoy it that much. Avoided any promos for it & had an absolute blast with it. 8.5/10

My week:

Unicorn: Warrior's Eternal season 1 (2023 MAX) - From the creator of Samurai Jack & Primal. Not gonna lie, this one was a tad disappointing. Didn't live up to the trailer. The animation & world is pretty darn gorgeous & intriguing though. Hope it gets renewed for a second season 2. 7.5/10

I Also watch 4 Roald Dahl short stories directed by Wes Anderson for Netflix last year. They were not of the same quality.

1. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar - Easily the best one of the bunch. Won the academy for best short film. 9/10

2. Poison - It was fine. Mostly entertaining. 7/10

3. The Swan - Did not enjoy this one. 5/10

4. The Rat Catcher - This & The Swan should been animated. Neither of them worked or were that enjoyable for me. 3/10