A sensitive question about the death of a loved one

I've never been given the option to view the body, but I've never had to arrange a funeral or any of that stuff either.

I had a feeling when my mom was going to expire so I left. Same with my husband. I didn’t want to see either one take their last breath. Some people want to be with their loved one when they “leave”. To each his/her own. We are all different.

I kissed my mom and left for the grocery. I received the call about my mom while at the grocery. She was in her own home with caregivers. I meandered about the store and knew when it was time to go back. I left without purchasing anything. She had been picked up, the bed had been stripped, the linens disposed of, everything was neat and tidy.

I went into her room, sat down on the daybed next to the now empty hospital bed and said “So long Mom. I’ll see you again in the not too distant future. I love you and you’re at peace.🙏🏻🙏🏻” I believe a little of them are left behind before they make their final journey. It took 3 weeks for me to have a total breakdown over her no longer being here. She’s always been here. Why isn’t she still.

I received the call from the hospice facility about my husband at 11 PM. The person asked if we wanted to see him. None of us did. I asked him to please dress him in his underwear, his nice pjs, his slippers & ball cap, all of which I had taken over. “Please don’t let him go in a hospital gown and diaper. I want him to leave with dignity.” It took just a week before I lost it.

"It's made me curious, have you viewed the body, or neglected to do so?"

I had no other choice BUT to view my fiance's corpse. I would've chopped off a few of my own fingers, while dismembering her in the bath tub otherwise

what was the most lasting memory for me was something called the Death Rattle, i'll never forget that part of it

LOTS OF TIME WITH DEAD BODIES...THEY LITERALLY HAD MY SISTER AND COUSIN SIT IN THE ROOM WITH MY DEAD GRANDFATHER FOR LIKE A HALF HOUR UNTIL THE VAN CAME...AUNTS,UNCLES,GRANDPARENTS,FRIENDS...I THINK I HAVE SEEN EVERY BODY...SOME FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME...AS FAR AS MY REACTIONS...THEY HAVE ALL BEEN FAIRLY BLANK QUITE FRANKLY INAPPROPRIATELY HUMOROUS...I AM AUTISTIC AND DEATH ONLY REALLY HITS ME MUCH LATER ON...MUCH MUCH MUCH LATER ON.

My Dad had an open casket. Common in Italian-American funerals. It’s not the memory I hold of him, just of those days of grieving. My memories of him are all of him alive, being a Dad at home, on vacations, at parties. The good times.

When my Dad passed away in 2014, I viewed his body and it didn't look like him, he appeared to be thinner and looked a little like Theodore Roosevelt in his brown suit.. I miss my Dad and hard to believe he's been gone 10 years.. Time goes by and is gone before you realize it folks..

My Mom on the otherhand, was cremated in 2021 and passed away on Aug 31st, 2021, the same day Princess Diana passed away and they were both born the same day as well.. Eerie.. I miss her also every day and never a day that goes by I don't think of her.. I have a companion Urn of her on my side table.. Sometimes, I hear things in my Condo like someone walking around on my plush carpet and you can tell the sound if you know what I mean?? I hear things in my closet like someone is in there, then they're in the hallway and then the kitchen.. It's something to get used to for sure..

There were a lot of deaths in my family growing up, so I have been to a few wakes. They weren't scary in any way, just awkward and strangely impersonal. Like, it might be the last time you see them in person, but it's just the body, they're not really there, so that moment never stands out as "the final memory", not when you've likely shared years of memorable times with the person.