Do you ever get the uncontrollable urge to physically break your misbehaving computer?

How old is your computer?? Perhaps invest in a new one?? And if the one you have is acting up, maybe you have updates on it that need to be downloaded and is slowing down the processor because of it?? Also, proper Anti-Virus Program is also a plus since that will slow down a computer

If you are taking Windows, find FAST BOOT, and turn that off.
Then restart, then do a power off, and back on to clear it.

My 11" MacBook Air is 10 years old and I keep babying it along - replaced the hard drive and have had a few other repairs along the way
.
I love it because it because it's perfect size and also has the magnetic power port. I'm afraid it's nearing the end of it's life and there really isn't anything on the market that is quite the same.

It will be a sad day when it finally dies.

Many times!

No. The vast majority of computer woes are caused by software, so getting pissed off at the computer itself is misdirected anger. In cases where they are caused by hardware, it makes me want to fix it, not make things worse for myself by randomly breaking stuff (which, in all likelihood, would result in breaking things that weren't already broken). Computers with hardware problems -- PCs at least (which are the only kind I use regularly) -- are easy to fix because they are highly modular.

i once was playing a very competitive video game on my laptop and got so mad i meant to "air punch" at the screen but not actually hit it. well i did accidentally hit it, fucked up the screen and then just instantly tore the whole thing off in my rage for accidentally breaking the screen

No. My partner is my computer guy. It's his job. If he can't fix it, he'll get me a new one when he smashes it.

This was me when I was 15. Kicking the computer at the walls, then trying to put it back together. It actually became my specialty, catastrophic computer repair.

If you're a terrorist, and really want to destroy your data (to deter an oncoming enemy), throwing your computer against the wall won't do the trick. Formatting, burning it, or throwing it in water - a forensic specialist could still potentially recover data given enough time. You need special equipment to destroy a hard drive. Not that it wouldn't work otherwise - you just wouldn't be sure.

The point is, you do more damage to yourself by trying to harm your computer. It has no feelings and won't care how much you hurt yourself. Your likely problem is inbuilt dust or poor configuration. Look after your computer, it belongs to you.