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Swear to God, That's Their Real Name


I was thinking about some of the people I've met in my life who had the most unlikely last names I'd ever heard in my entire life. I'll bet the rest of you have met some as well. Here are a few interesting ones:

Dr. Beer - family dentist
Dr. Faucet - orthodontist
Dr. Love - dentist
Dr. Fatman - psychologist (who was surprisingly not fat)
Mr. Musick - swear to God, he really was my music teacher in 6th and 7th grade

I'd love to hear if any of you have met people with last names that should have only been attached to cartoon characters, or characters in books.

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I had a girl who went my primary school named Anita Broom.

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She probably needs a broom.

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My brother knew a girl who was part of his graduating high school class with the last name Raper. I wouldn't blame the poor girl if she got married just so her name wouldn't be so embarrassing.

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I always feel bad with women who have the surname Hoare or variations of it. Hooker is similar but Hoare seems much worse.

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I feel bad for this one teacher we had in my high school. I just now remembered him. His name was Mr. Rumps. The boys, of course, teased him about his name and even made up the rhyme: "Mr. Rumps takes big dumps," and drew a picture of a toilet with turds around it on the whiteboard next to his desk. It was funny, gross, and kinda mean at the same time, because he was a nice guy and all the kids liked him. He was surprisingly cool about the joke, though it was only funny for so long.

I'm just glad nobody ever gave him a rump roast for a present.

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Dr Gagan Deep - Dentist.
On the celebrity side, Ace Frehley is the only member of Kiss who uses his real name.

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Actually it's Paul Frehley.

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So it is, in his bio he mentions that he was the only member who went by his own name. So much for that story.

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And Paul Stanley's real first name is Stanley!

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So he's actually Stanley Stanley?

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Stanley Bert Eisen is his full real name. I guess he thought Paul sounded cool by comparison?

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What was he thinking?

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I always thought for a band that dressed up as characters that their names were pretty ordinary, excepting Ace which fit his look well.

None of them use their real names either, closest would be Peter Criss real name George Peter John Criscuola.

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Both Ace Frehley and Eric Carr's real first name is Paul.

Gene Simmons went from Chaim Witz to Gene Klein to Gene Simmons. 😛

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I remember that from somewhere now, can't have two Paul's in the band!

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Yet the one who used it isn't a Paul. 😅

Eric Singer took Eric Carr's place after his death. As I mentioned, Eric Carr's real name is Paul. Eric Singer's real name is Eric Mensinger.

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No. Stanley Eisen.

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Everything I have come across has Bert as his middle name.

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Correct. Sorry, I didn't include the middle name. 🙂

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My wife's obgyn has the name Dr. Ovary. I guess her parents got what they wanted.

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I haven't met him, but I'll toss this one in anyway. Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the Moon, seemed to have been destined to be a lunar explorer -- his mother's maiden surname was Moon.

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I remember a local TV commercial in the N.Y.C. tri-state area for a proctologist that went by the name Dr. Butts. I think he also had ads on Howard Stern's radio show. In the TV commercials he would say "I'm Dr. Butts and this is a laser!" He would then point the laser at the palm of his hand. The end of the commercial had his waiting room filled with people singing "No more hemorrhoids! No more pain!" If I remember correctly, he had a drug problem and got sued for injuring numerous patients. He lost his license. I can't find anything about him online. Could I have gained hallucinated this?
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No, you're not. I remember Stern talking about him. There was a scandal and the newspapers had a field day.

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Do you remember his name as Dr. Butts? I'm not 100% certain it was Butts. It was definitely a euphemism for something butt related.
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I think that was his name. Wasn't it in the 80s? It's possible to hire someone to scrub negative information from the internet or make it hard to find. Perhaps that's what he did.

Even Seinfeld did a parody episode of the doctor with a proctologist named Assman.

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He had a vanity license plate Assman. He named his boat Assman, but his name was Dr. Cooperman.

https://psmag.com/.image/t_share/MTYyMzI2OTI2MzczOTU0OTM3/screen-shot-2019-02-28-at-42051-pm.png

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There's a urologist who operates out of Austin, TX whose name is, swear to god, Dr. Richard Chopp (Dick Chopp). Here in town, we also have a Dr. Love, as well as a Dr. Payne.

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My sister taught a little girl, last name Leer

Her parents named her Crystal Shonda...

I still haven't decided if that's a stupid or brilliant name

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That’s amazing

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Oh yeah?

What's the opposite of 'amazing' 'cuz whatever it is that's what your face is!!

BOOYAH OWNED!

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You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up

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Well now you've gone and hurt my feelings 😢

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You mess with the bull. You get ... well I guess the bull kicks you or something

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I'll take that as your sincere apology...Jerkface

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Do Simmons !

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Richard or Gene?

I don't own Jack Tripper shorts and my delicate skin couldn't take all that makeup

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Jack Tripper would mop the floor with you

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Maybe so but I think I could whoop Mr. Furley

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You think a lot of things don’t you

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I think so...😒

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Long ago, I had a data entry job, and quietly kept a list of unfortunate names.

My favorite was Qing Kong.

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That's a legit Chinese name. Also... Wan King and Fuk Yu. Yoo Suk is a real Korean name.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGv4V7bFvJc

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Lol. But I've never heard of the name Fuk Mi tho'. Maybe there is someone named that, there are lots of Chinese, but "mi" means "rice" so Idk, perhaps it's just not popular to name your children "rice." It would be like Westerner named their offspring "Potato" or "Wheat."

Fukami, on the other hand, is a common and normal Japanese name. It sounds like an Italian saying 'Fook-a-me, Mario!'

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I also had a job dealing with lots of names (researching real estate records). Most are lost to memory but one I do remember: Harry Canal.

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