Best excuse for calling in to miss work?

I had been married less than a month and was living in an apartment building. One of my neighbors came home storming into the building the night before. We heard him slam the outer door. The next morning when I went to leave, I couldn't get the outer door open. We had to call the landlord to help us. While the handyman was trying to force the door my wife called my boss and explained EXACTLY what happened. Eventually he handed a hammer in to me through the window and i popped the door off its hinges. Turns out the lock had broken off from the cylinder. When I finally got to work it was to a round of applause. My coworkers said it was the best excuse they've ever heard a newlywed use. None of them believed it was true .

Diarrhea

My experience is that they won't ask for a doctor's note unless you've missed multiple days consecutively so I don't think a good ol' fashion sick day should be discounted. Car problems could be a valid excuse if you have no other way of getting to work but with public transportation and Uber it might be bought as a valid reason for being late but missing an entire day may be a tough sell. Ultimately you're going to be penalized a sick day regardless so unless you're missing so much work it's raising eyebrows, I'm not sure it's worth putting too much effort into the creativity of your excuses.

I think no excuse is the best. Just saying that you absolutely can't attend should be enough for the most part - as long as it's not something you request often - shouldn't evoke any questions.

Start up your own company. Be your own boss. Never worry about calling in sick ever again.

I once had a boyfriend that called out of work with leprosy. Not a good excuse if you actually want your job back, but we had a good laugh about it.

They might ask for a car repair bills.

Taking an occasional sick day isn't a problem and there should be no need for a doctor's note (who goes to the doctor every time they have a cold?) or elaborate excuses.

On the other hand, if you are chronically absent without advance notice, at some point the excuses will not matter.