Looking for movie/TV show quotes about male endowment.
A few years ago I noticed that there were lots of jokes in movies and TV shows about male endowment. I stated to keep a list (when I remembered). I'm looking for quotes or references about male endowment. Below are the quotes or references that I have so far. I've tried to replace potentially offensive words with their initial.
Sex and the City Episode: Oh Come All Ye Faithful
Carrie: What's going on, why are you crying?
Samantha: James has a small D.
Carrie: Well, it's not the end of the world.
Samantha: It's really small.
Miranda: How small?
Samantha: Too small.
Carrie: well size isn't everything.
Samantha: 3 inches?
Carrie: Well -
Samantha: Hard?
Carrie: Ugh!
Charlotte: Is he a good kisser?
Samantha: Oh, who the F cares? His D is like a gherkin. Why?! Why?! Why does he have to have a small D?!
Carrie: Oh, look we've all been there.
Miranda: That's for sure. I was once with a guy the size of those little miniature golf pencils. I couldn't tell if he was trying to F me or erase me. There are ways to work around it.
Samantha: I don't want to work around it! I love a big D! I love it inside of me. I love looking at it. I love everything about it. When I blow him it's like, nothing. Nothing!
Lucas (1986)
Bruno: Hey, Leukoplakia. They got a jockstrap that can fit you? Hey, maybe one of you guys should stop by sewing class and pick up a thimble, Lucas here needs a jockstrap. Or maybe a thimble would be too big. Hey, anybody got a contact lens? A contact lens with a Band-Aid.
Lucas: Are you referring to the size of my P?
Bruno: Yeah I am.
Lucas: With a flaccid P, it's the number of folds that count. And anyway, I don't get semi-erect around other males like some of you fellas do.
Trees Lounge (1996)
(While Rob is filming Tommy with a camcorder.)
Tommy: You want me to whip it out?
Rob: Sure, just let me get out the microscopic lens.
Raising Hope Episode: Road to Natesville
Maxim: I feel so sorry for this puny American cucumber. It's so small it could not satisfy anyone's appetite for anything. In Russia cucumbers are much bigger.
Shelley: I'm not big on vegetables so I hope you're talking about P.
Maxim: Of course I was.
Notting Hill (1999)
Anna Scott: You know what they say about men with big feet.
William: No, I don't, actually. What's that?
Anna Scott: Big feet - large shoes?
(Later when confronting men at restaurant who implied she is a whore)
Anna Scott: No, leave it. I'm sure you didn't mean any harm, I'm sure it was just friendly banter, I'm sure you guys have "Ds" the size of peanuts. Enjoy your dinner, the tuna is really good.
Blazing Saddles (1974)
Lili Von Shtupp: Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say about the way you people are - gifted? [sound of zipper opening] Lili Von Shtupp: Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue!
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Inga: In other vords: his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Voof.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.
Elizabeth: [singing, while having sex with the monster] Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you! At last, I know the secret of it all!
Inga: You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. In the transference, the monster got part of your wonderful brain. But what did you ever get from him?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [Growls suggestively]
Inga: [gasping] Oh my goodness, I don't believe! [emits several somewhat painful-sounding moans and grunts] Inga: [singing] Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you!
Caddyshack II (1988)
(Walking in the locker room, Ty Webb introduces Mr. Jamison to Jack Hartounian)
Ty Webb: Mr. uh, (looks down at his P) or is it Mrs.?
Horace and Pete Episode: #1.7
Rhonda: Are you trying to tell me you have a big Ol' special P?
Rhonda: P is not that big, nice though.
Horace: Okay I'll take that. It's not bad. Nice little P.
The Godfather (1972)
At Sonny's wedding women gesture with their hands far apart to refer to the size of his P.
The Neighbors Episode: Family Conference
Larry: We let ourselves in.
Marty One of these days I'm not going to be wearing pants.
Jackie: Oh, it's not anything we haven't already seen on the video feed.
Jackie to Debbie: Congratulations by the way
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974)
Alice talking with Bea about Robert Redford.
Bea: I wonder what kind of build he's got on him.
Alice: Did you ever see his feet?
Bea: Feet?
Alice: I heard one time that's supposed to be an indication.
Bea thinks about it and then says: Oh, I saw a picture. They're Huge! They're like this! Like this! (gesturing with her hands far apart).
Porky's (1981)
There is a character nicknamed Meat and a character nicknamed Pee Wee. Both nicknames are references to their P size.
Continued in the comments.
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