MovieChat Forums > General Discussion > An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a t...

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, and the owl turns to the squirrel and says....



nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.


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But what does the fox say?

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Fox says β€œbut what about Hillary’s emails?!”

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But then Janice from accounting quips...

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Well, maybe Mueller knows!

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If only.


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Nothing. Foxes can't talk. Didn't you read chapter 2 in the text book?


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Is there actually a textbook that says that in chapter 2?

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Does the pope wear a funny hat?


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WRONG!

Actually, the owl said, "That's a HOOT!," because the squirrel just told the timeless joke which begins ...
"A velociraptor walks into a bar ..."

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LOL!


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I’m gonna need you to move your desk again

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Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler......I could set the building on fire......


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Hey movieman. What’s happening ? I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday ...

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Not now Lumbergh, I'm kinda busy. I've got a meeting with the Bobs in 10 minutes.


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Hey movieman. Check out channel 9 man, it’s the breast exam

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You know what I'd do with a million dollars? Two chicks at once man. Chicks dig money, man.


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As if the deep-thinking, intellectual squirrel would just sit next to a bird of prey to begin with!

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"Deep thinking, intellectual squirrel"? I have not encountered many of those.


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I did an absurd visual joke a long time ago, but I don't have the image, so I'll narrate it to you as best I can remember.

A big grandfather clock is talking to a plant (or something, I'll go with plant) that is on the floor next to it.

Clock: Hey, can you tell me what time it is? I can't see my own face, and I don't have eyes anyway.
Plant: I can't tell the time, I'm just a dumb plant. Plus I don't have eyes either, or a face!
Clock: Then how the hell are you talking???

*rimshot*

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LOL!


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Nevermind, I remembered the password to my Imgur account, and the joke is still there!

https://imgur.com/E1AKFSK

That was one of many I made for a thread on the old IMDb Prometheus board.

I know plant was wrong... It was fish!

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Well okay then.

BTW, do you know what the chicken did when she saw a bucket of KFC?


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Hmm, good question. I guess she crossed the road to flee to the other side, maybe?

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Close, but no cigar.

She kicked the bucket!


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Damn, I was looking for that answer!

I thought twice "Well if she was a frog, she'd croak..."

I was trying to think of a chicken-related way of dying. Good game!

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Why did the cactus cross the road?


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I had to look that up because I'm about to leave for lunch and didn't want to wait.

It was stuck to the chicken's back!

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Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding!

Why did half a chicken cross the road?


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This one I don't know...

Speaking of chicken, I'm going to eat at Chick-Fil-A!

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To get to its other side! You're groaning and rolling your eyes right now, aren't you?

I love Chick-Fil-A!

How did the chicken wake up?


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To an alarm cock (rooster)?

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Oh! Excellent answer! My answer was "It had an alarm cluck.", but your answer is acceptable to the judges! Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding!

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What do chickens study in college?

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Thank you!

Do they study Beakonomics?

I know they were big in high school because chickens are always into egg-stra curricular activities.

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Oh Froggy! You were so close! They study Eggonomics!


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PS Have a nice lunch!


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The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

How can you tell an eagle is religious?

Because it's a [spoiler]bird of pray.[/spoiler]

*rimshot*

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Hi-ooooh!

Why did the chicken join a band?


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To break on through to the other side, yeah?

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Great answer, but no. Because it already had drumsticks. BTW, your answer might be better as to "beak on through..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?

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Okay this one is random, no clue.

I should have known the drumsticks, though.

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Oh you're gonna hate yourself (or me) on this one:

Because he was a dirty double crosser!


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I like!

Your jokes also inspired me to make this one up:
https://moviechat.org/general/General-Discussion/5b4fd5e676e2330014f4b62f/Why-dont-movie-fans-drive-sports-cars

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LOL!


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Someone was outside Richie and Eddie's tent doing owl impressions years ago when they were camping on Wimbledon Common.

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Huh???


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It's from a TV show, no worries πŸ˜‰

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Which one, mate?


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Bottom (1991) πŸ‘

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8.2 on IMDB. Interesting.


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Classic series, check it out sometime πŸ‘

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I might do that. Thanks.


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πŸ‘

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