"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
shareHis " stuff " routine was always one of my favorites; so true, wickedly funny and as it turned out, prophetic ! It's why we now have reality shows like Hoarders.
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“The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
― George Carlin
Every workday i think this same thing...so true:)))
I drive like a lunatic but i yell crude stuff at other people
Carlin was the real deal!
You could go on forever with George Carlin's stuff. He was a sage for our time.
"Legally drunk. If it's legal, then what's the problem?"
"Lock him up and throw away the key." How far can you throw a key? His friends will find it.
"He takes the cake". Where? Where do you take a cake?
"The greatest thing since sliced bread." So this is it folks? You got a knife, you got a loaf of bread, slice the effing thing!
:))) great stuff!!
shareNow, they are all on their phones!
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My favorite Carlin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIkqNiBASfI
😎
Carlin's first album on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMYaQAPpjpk&t=258s
"I'm getting really sick of guys named Todd. It's just a goofy fuckin' name."
Hahaha. Carlin was the best. There is just too much to quote.
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning."
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"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it."
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“People can't seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Ever. There is only a short pause before the next "horrifying" event. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound "heals" it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, "Let the scarring begin.”
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"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.”