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Patrick Didn't Seem to Care Much About the Death of His Father

posted 8 years ago by Reverend_Powell
42 replies | jump to latest

I understand that people grieve in different ways, but I found it odd that Patrick didn't seem to suffer much from the loss of his father. We get one minor freak out scene with the freezer, but it's over and forgotten as quickly as it came. I get that the writer wanted to make the focus of the story the relationship between Patrick and Lee, but it just rang false that Patrick was practically completely unphased by the death of his father. They really needed to show him struggling with it for the character to be genuine. It seems like it was written by someone who has no experience with tragedy or loss.

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] tigerfish50 8 years ago

For once, we agree - one of the film's many shortcomings.

[–] shredder08 8 years ago

Maybe burying grief and refusing to really express it are family traits? Obviously Lee has the same problem.

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

Burying the grief would certainly happen, but not until later. We're talking about the days immediately following the death of his father. He wouldn't have had enough time to bury the grief yet. He would be destroyed.

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] shredder08 8 years ago

Burying the grief would certainly happen, but not until later. We're talking about the days immediately following the death of his father. He wouldn't have had enough time to bury the grief yet. He would be destroyed.

Stop posting like you know how every single person would and should react to every single thing. Get a clue.

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

Stop being such a baby.

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] maxLevelkook 8 years ago

Although neither express themselves, Lee doesn't bury his grief, He bathes in it.

[–] DrPeppersEmptyCan 8 years ago

Have you ever lost someone close to you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1dvb2FgBEM

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

Have you ever lost someone close to you?

Yes. My brother.

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] DrPeppersEmptyCan 8 years ago

So as you experienced grief did you find moments where you were able to conduct yourself pretty much normally? Like able to go about your daily tasks without slobbering and whimpering? Might it be difficult even for an outsider to tell something was wrong with you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1dvb2FgBEM

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

When I was around people, I did my best to act like nothing was wrong, sure. But the weight of pretending is immense, and I just never saw Patrick carrying that weight. I never saw him struggling to put on the act. He seemed light as a feather. Maybe it was just his acting, but I'm leaning more towards the writing. I just don't think the writer really understood how that kind of loss effects a person.

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] DrPeppersEmptyCan 8 years ago

I disagree, as far as these things go I thought they did a remarkable job presenting mourning grief and guilt. As someone who has also lost a close family member I thought he seemed quite genuine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1dvb2FgBEM

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

I'm glad you were able to relate to it. I really tried and I really wanted to. I knew what it was about going into it, and the whole time I just found myself wondering, "When are they going to start caring about Joe's death?"

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] DrPeppersEmptyCan 8 years ago

I suppose, as unlikely as it seems, that might be it. I went in knowing nothing.

Though personally, having lost a parent at a younger age (not as young as the character in this film mind you) I thought his response was appropriate. As I thought was Lee's, after having dealt with his personal tragedy. I thought it was understandable that the character wouldn't be quite as outwardly upset about his brother's death.

In any case it seems our personal reception of the material seems to be divided and skewed along personal lines. I'm not sure if that invalidates either or both of our perspectives on(appreciation or criticism) this film. But I'm glad we're both able to keep it civil while disagreeing.

Also, I'm right. You're wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1dvb2FgBEM

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

Yeah, maybe I just knew too much about the film and expected too much going in. Probably didn't help that my buddy told me it was one of the most depressing films he's seen and that I would definitely cry.

That said though, I still think we could have seen Patrick struggling with putting on the act. But even before his father's death, he seemed incredibly well-adjusted and confident considering he had an alcoholic mother he wasn't allowed to see and didn't even know where she was anyway. Maybe Joe was just a saint of a father and raised him incredibly well, but if that was the case, I would have liked to see more flashback scenes with him. Kyle Chandler is easily the best actor of the bunch and it's a shame he was so underused.

Also, I'm right. You're wrong.

Haha! 

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] liv911 8 years ago

They gave the father 5-10 years to live when patrick was just a little boy. His father had been in the hospital multiple times before, (they said caseys character only visited when he was in the hospital). He has known his father was about to die for a long time, not that odd to me.

Also, not everyone has a strong relationship with their parents.
Didn't care when my mom got diagnosed with cancer, didn't care when my dad got a heart attack and had to have coronary artery bypass surgery. I was 16 for both which Patrick also was in the movie.

Everyones different, no ones realetionship with their parents are the identical, everyone reacts to tradegy differently and the movie isn't about Patrick's loss of his father.

I thought it was very refreashing and true to the story, the way patrick reacted to the loss. He has always known his father could die any day. Accepting the loss wasn't difficult, it's something he already has accepted and probably struggled with a lot growing up. It's not a chock that he has died so he doesn't grieve right then and there when it happens. It doesn't hit him til after a while when he not only IS gone, but FEELS gone.

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

I thought it was very refreashing and true to the story, the way patrick reacted to the loss. He has always known his father could die any day. Accepting the loss wasn't difficult, it's something he already has accepted and probably struggled with a lot growing up. It's not a chock that he has died so he doesn't grieve right then and there when it happens.

No, that's not how it works. I spent my whole life preparing for my brother's death, knowing he wouldn't make it through his twenties. When he did die, it destroyed me as if I hadn't known it was coming. It was a complete shock even though it shouldn't have been. The writer clearly had no experience with the issues he was dealing with and he handled them irresponsibly.

Also, not everyone has a strong relationship with their parents.

No, not everyone does, but Patrick did have a strong relationship with his father.

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] shelemm 8 years ago

Again, you are making pronouncements that so many people outright disagree with. What you are saying is more an argument than a fact. Yet you are treating it like a fact.

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

No, I am correct. Sorry.

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] liv911 8 years ago

yes i know he has a strong relationship with him im just saying, that people are different.

Not everyone has the exact same emotional reaction to a loved one dying that you do. And we do se Patrick struggling in the movie. I get that you wanted a story that you could relate to more tho! That's what i always look for in a film. For me Patrick's character did that even if you couldn't see yourself in him.

I thought the writer did a good job, even if i didn't find the writing as good as in his film Margaret. In the film he has written other characters that expect Patrick to have the more common and destructive reaction to loss than he actually does. We see them react to his cold reaction to seeing his body in the morgue. We espacially see this with one of his girlfriends that think they should talk about it and not about star trek the day of the death, and find it horrible that Lee is one the phone with the funeral home in front of Patrick. She's expecting him to be more sensitive. To me this show Lonergan who wrote the film, hasn't ignored the fact that a lot of people are destroyed by loss, he has writted characters that like you, expected him to struggle with his grief more.

But they do show a panic attack so it's not completely without struggles with grief either

Also, the whole film is about loss! You might not see yourself in Patrick's character but Lee was completely destroyed from loosing his family. It's been years but we still see him and randy struggling with their grief.

[–] marie-soleil15 8 years ago

No, that's not how it works.

No that's not how it works for you !

Good movies challenge expectations. Mediocre movies confirm them. (I've stole this quote)

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

No, that's just not how it works. Period.

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] marie-soleil15 8 years ago

we're talking on 2 post will not explain myself again
Good movies challenge expectations. Mediocre movies confirm them. (I've stole this quote)

[–] chelsea-mike_1992 8 years ago

You written a book on this topic yet? Seems like you're the expert Mark

[–] oBrickTop 8 years ago

He had a full blown panic attack for gods sake.

It was not sudden either. His dad had been in and out of the hospital for years, and this was expected. But even still, he had a full blown panic attack... Do you not consider that struggling with it?

-What am I doing? I'm quietly judging you.

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

It was not sudden either. His dad had been in and out of the hospital for years, and this was expected.

So?

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] oBrickTop 8 years ago

How many panic attacks have you had? People don't just have panic attacks, especially not healthy young boys that are full of confidence. That was such a blatant way to show he really was not dealing with it as well as you think.

Keep trying to find trivial reasons to dislike this movie. It's what you people do around here, even if they are BS reasons.

-What am I doing? I'm quietly judging you.

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

Come back when you know what you"re talking about.

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] Tutu808 8 years ago

Other than the panic attack, it seemed to me that "Casey" cared a bit more for his brother than the boy did for his father. Yes, it would have been better if the teen had shown more grief. From his girlfriends to his mother to even his uncle/guardian, he showed he was mostly about himself....and yet they showed him being very close to his dad and uncle growing up. Movie messed up on this aspect.

[–] fifthfreedom 8 years ago

Many people don't outwardly react to grief at all. Some even become completely numb to it.

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

I understand that. It still rang false.

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] PopperTheKungFu-Dragon 8 years ago

I think he was burying his feelings and trying to be so busy that he didn't have to think about his grief.

Poorly Lived and Poorly Died, Poorly Buried and No One Cried

[–] Reverend_Powell 8 years ago

That's the superficial answer. Are you saying this was a superficial film?

"There are too many of them. Can't kill the world."

[–] flaiky 8 years ago

You don't seem to be getting much agreement here, but I feel similarly to you. He did seem weirdly...okay. There were glimpses of him struggling but I felt that someone in that position would have been more consumed by it, especially as his father was his sole carer for most of his life. It lessened the emotional impact of the film somewhat.

Stop listening to the static.