MovieChat Forums > Bachelor in Paradise (2014) Discussion > Caila Shouldn't Have Crossed That Bounda...

Caila Shouldn't Have Crossed That Boundary!

posted 8 years ago by underbun
33 replies | jump to latest

Before coming to Paradise, Caila had the strongest understanding that Ashley had extremely high feelings for Jared.

Ashley made sure that Caila understood this, and Caila affirmed to Ashley that it was well understood and would be respected.

Nevertheless, as soon as Caila arrived in Paradise, she made a straight line towards Jared and began her romantic moves on him.

Ashley saw this as a solid act of betrayal, and I agree that it was betrayal in the highest form.

I do not blame Ashley for slamming Caila up for betraying her. In my opinion, any love interest, ex-love interest, spouse, or ex-spouse of a friend is off-limits. It is amazing how people don't have any regards for the social boundaries of others, especially the social boundaries of those who are considered friends.

I've also noticed that women use the term "friend" in a lighter manner than men. Women, just because another woman shops with you, gossips with you, and eats chips and salsa with you at a local restaurant every week doesn't mean that she's your friend. This is why women often get back-stabbed and end up wondering what happened.

"But, I thought that she was my friend," they later complain in astonishment.

Men, on the other hand, seem to be different. They don't call every other guy that they socialize with a "friend". The title has to be earned, and it is often earned through honesty and loyalty. Betrayal and dishonesty are not taken lightly by men in general; they do not play games in that area like many women do.

Caila deserved to get her feelings hurt by Ashley. Caila asked for it. Caila betrayed Ashley.

Enough said.

Stop rattling the pots and pans, Ma! The boys are trying to sleep!

[–] priscilla52782 8 years ago

You have a point and i think ashley made her point to every woman who may ever be interested in jared. It will never work out. Ashley wins even if she never wins jareds heart.

[–] grinch031 8 years ago

I disagree they should be off limits. The relationship that Jared and Ashley never had is over. I think it's BS that a friend can claim ownership over a SINGLE guy.

[–] LittlePasLady 8 years ago

Ashley sure did a number on Jared's head. As long as she's in the picture he will never have a normal relationship with any other woman. Out of respect for Jared she needs to limit or eliminate all communication with him. And he should too. If not, then he gets what he deserves.

[–] cmtlshem15 8 years ago

Agreed. They didn't really date and he doesn't have interest in dating her now. So what is off limits about that? He should be able to choose any woman and pursue something with her. Ashley has no claim on the guy.

[–] sweetheart_509 8 years ago

I agree. Caila knew she was wrong and when they asked her on After Paradise why she decided to ask Jared on the date, she said that she had heard so many great things about him so she was intrigued. So apparently, while Ashley was telling her how much she loved Jared and Caila was promising her that she wouldn't go after him, Caila was actually thinking, "Hmm, if he's that great, I'll have to find out for myself." Caila is a skank!

[–] QweRty369 8 years ago

What you wrote is true. When a man calls you a friend that title means a great deal. When a woman does it usually doesn't hold as much value.

[–] engle_james 8 years ago

Please! Caila had every right to ask Jared out on a date. Ashley wasn't even in Paradise at the time. Do people really think Caila shouldn't have asked Jared out because Ashley didn't want her to? They could have gone out and just been friends, but that doesn't mean Jared wouldn't have been interested in someone else.

Also, don't forget that Ashley lied to Jared (and probably Caila,too) because the very first thing she said to Jared when she got there was "Don't be mad, I should have told you I was coming" or something like that. She knew she was going but lied and told Jared she wasn't, because she knew he wouldn't have gone if she was going to be there.

[–] cmtlshem15 8 years ago

Yeah, it is super ironic that Ashley defenders are all up in arms about Caila being dishonest about pursuing Jared, but then Ashley gets a free pass when she lied her reasons for coming to Paradise..? She started out trying to convince everyone that she was really there to meet someone and move on from her Jared obsession, but then she proceeded to obsess over Jared basically the whole time she was there. And she lied again when she told him that she was not being mean or manipulative when she meddled in his relationship... totally dishonest. She literally looked right into the camera and said that she could screw with his mind and use their friendship to interfere with his relationship with Caila.

I'm not saying that I know the truth about Caila's character, but Ashley is a definitely a childish manipulator and big-time hypocrite. She can't take back the things that she said word for word in the camera confessionals.

[–] jstitely1 8 years ago

The problem with Caila is she did this all and wasnt interested in Jared. She said it multiple times off camera and multiple cast members have confirmed that. So she did a bad thing, and didnt actually even like the guy. There's a reason not a single cast member on either of her seasons has defended her.

[–] dini0519 8 years ago

Right. She was just being mean for the sake of being mean. She brought everything on herself.

[–] grinch031 8 years ago

Caila did like Jared.

[–] dini0519 8 years ago

Not much. She didn't even know him at first. Just being mean. That said, Ashley is obsessed and it was so good to see her attracted to Wells, but it was irritating that Jami and Shusonna were put on at the last minute. I do agree that Ashley should've just left when she didn't get a rose though. Surprised they let her back. Chris Harrison apparently had no say on that?

[–] pndpuppy82 8 years ago

It's honestly so high school to say a certain guy is off limits. I get it, Ashley considered Caila a friend before BIP and I get that she felt betrayed because she asked Caila to back off but seriously it's juvenile. As you get older you realize what's important and what's not and I feel like people should be more realistic and realize that you can still be a friend and dating ones ex. I'm not saying it wouldn't hurt you but at the same time maybe that person is your soul mate. If people were really open and honest they would say "hey, it didn't work out with this person but they make a better match with so and so."

[–] blondie27 8 years ago

No way. Ashley does not have any claim on Jared the way she keeps insisting she does. She needs to seek help and quit humiliating herself on national TV. Jared needs to grow a set of balls and tell Ashley to kick dirt. So sick of this non-relationship taking over the show.

[–] underbun 8 years ago

The world is full of billions of people. Lots and lots of "soul mates" out there. Lots! All that you have to do is put yourself out there and meet them. Why disrespect boundaries within your inner circles? Keep your friendships, and be able to look at yourself in the mirror every morning without staring back at an immoral, backstabbing reptile...

[–] grinch031 8 years ago

The world is full of billions of people. Lots and lots of "soul mates" out there. Lots! All that you have to do is put yourself out there and meet them. Why disrespect boundaries within your inner circles? Keep your friendships, and be able to look at yourself in the mirror every morning without staring back at an immoral, backstabbing reptile...

Most people meet their significant other through friends and acquaintances, not through random encounters.

I think its BS that I could basically tell my guy friends to stay away from every girl that I find attractive just because I will feel jealous. No I don't have that right.

[–] OhhHello 8 years ago

Ashley was never in a relationship with Jared. He is not her ex. They never even had sex. She had no right to ask that of Caila. She probably put Caila on the spot and made her promise. Caila's problem is she is too nice and should have been upfront with Ashley. But, she shouldn't have to pass up on Jared because of Ashley's delusions. Disgusted with Ashley's behavior. She's an embarrassment.

[–] cmtlshem15 8 years ago

I've also noticed that women use the term "friend" in a lighter manner than men...

This is a sweeping generalization. There is a difference between friends and acquaintances, and while I might quickly refer to someone as my friend in a casual way, that does not automatically put them on par with the ones that are my close friends - the people I really love and trust.

I've barely ever been "backstabbed" by another woman in my life, and certainly not one I call a friend. We have disagreements or times where we are getting on each other's nerves, but none of this insane brand of drama that is shown in the Bach universe or in TV dramas, etc. I have a lot of really loyal and consistent friends who have never let me down in big ways.

I also get confused about how all of these bach contestants become such good "friends" with each other when they aren't on the same seasons. I've seen stuff on social media where a group of former contestants will do appearances at movie premieres and other events, but does that really launch into sincere friendship for so many of them? I don't know. So many of these people seem very shallow and superficial so maybe they are the types to hangout a few times and then think that they've made a new best friend, but that's weird to me.

It was shady for Caila to literally tell Ashley that she was not interested in Jared and then choose him very early on when she arrived on the set of BIP, but I do question the reality of just how close the two girls really were beforehand. And I think Ashley would basically tell everyone she meets to stay away from Jared, but the truth of the matter is that the two have never even been a real couple, so there's no real "code" to follow there. She's infatuated and he puts up with it because he's apparently a little sick too.

[–] Charlie_Runkle69 8 years ago

'This is a sweeping generalization. There is a difference between friends and acquaintances, and while I might quickly refer to someone as my friend in a casual way, that does not automatically put them on par with the ones that are my close friends - the people I really love and trust.

Um, isn't that EXACTLY what the OP is saying? Men don't tend to do that as much. Of course there is a difference between close friends and that person in your squash club but women will tend to label them friends and men not.

[–] cmtlshem15 8 years ago

I felt as if the OP was saying women are frequently backstabbed by the "squash club" type of friends and that they're totally blindsided and terribly hurt by acts of betrayal from someone they thought they could trust. I disagreed on two counts: 1)I am completely aware that those peripheral "friends" are not necessarily real friends at all and 2) the concept of being backstabbed like this is not nearly as common as the OP seems to think it is. Neither my acquaintances nor my close friends bring this type of drama into my life.

[–] dini0519 8 years ago

Ashley didn't have claim over Jared from every woman there, especially women she'd never met. But if her and Caila had talked and Caila had agreed not to go after Jared, why did she make a beeline to him the min she got there? She's just a beyotch.

Dini

[–] engle_james 8 years ago

Wow, a woman calls another woman a beyotch for asking a single man on a date, even though another woman likes him (despite the fact that he told her and America a hundred times that he doesn't feel the same way about her).

Yeah, what a beyotch LOL!

[–] dini0519 8 years ago

I stand by what I said. Caila could've easily asked someone else. She was just causing drama. Doesn't even seem that into Jared anyway as others have mentioned. I'll call her a witch this time instead of a beyotch. Can't stand her.
Dini

[–] sweetheart_509 8 years ago

Ashley didn't have claim over Jared from every woman there, especially women she'd never met. But if her and Caila had talked and Caila had agreed not to go after Jared, why did she make a beeline to him the min she got there? She's just a beyotch.

Exactly!

[–] LittlePasLady 8 years ago

Ashley really needs to seek professional help as does Jared. The show should pay their medical bills. Jared is sick for being good friends with someone who obviously thinks she's in love with him. Ashley shouldn't be able to dictate who Jarec dates since she has no chance with him. They're botn psychos who need help. These are not normal people so normal dating "rules" do not apply.