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Would you marry or stay married in that situation?

posted 7 years ago by Hans-Wilhelm (1355)
12 replies | jump to latest

I've seen this before and never thought about this but it was on rerun last night and the scene came up to where they were voting and were going to add about 500 days to their trip and all in all I think they were going to be gone about three years or more. They were video chatting with spouses in the next scene.

It made me think if my spouse told me they were going to be gone for years for their job would I even stay in the relationship? I don't think I would. All the spouses seemed pretty nonchalant, "ok, sweetie, see you in three years" but I don't think I'd be ok with it.

How would you guys feel about that?

[–] lordbishop34 (1442) 7 years ago

If I was married, yes I would stay in the relationship. Also if I had children with the person. If I was just in a relationship with no other serious connections I guess I would have to play it by ear. I would like to think if I actually loved the person I would stick it out.

[–] Hans-Wilhelm (1355) 7 years ago

I look at it the other way. If you love me and our family you don't willingly choose to go on some multi-year trek to Mars you stay with your family. I'd probably be married to someone else by the time they got back. We weren't talking about 3-4 months, this was YEARS. It wasn't involuntary like Tom Hanks in Cast Away, they chose to leave for years. Yeah, I'd bolt. I probably would have bolted once they signed on and committed to head off to Mars.

[–] sslssg (34211) 7 years ago

I don't know. I think that you know who you marry and if that was something they were passionate about, you'd have to know it was coming. It's like marrying a soldier, eventually they are probably going to be deployed somewhere. I would think that if my spouse decided to delay coming home to save someone who couldn't be saved any other way, I would want them to do it.

[–] Hans-Wilhelm (1355) 7 years ago

That's probably part of why I have my view. I'd never date/marry a soldier for that very reason. That's more of a problem for girls but there are more and more female soldiers these days. I've even read about women who give birth to children and the military ships the mom's off overseas while the child is still an infant.

Yeah, long distance isn't my thing. So yeah, if my spouse said "yeah I signed up for a two year mission to Mars" I'd be like, "Oh, can we rush all the divorce proceedings so this is all wrapped up before you leave?

[–] lordbishop34 (1442) 7 years ago

It’s unlikely that signing on for a trip to Mars would come out of no where. It takes years for things like that to come together, I would think anyone marrying a person like this knows what they are signing on for. It’s like sslssg said it’s similar to marrying a person in the military.

[–] Otter (24464) 6 years ago

I think this is the correct answer. Anyone who marries an aspiring astronaut knows that their spouse is going to be facing a certain amount of physical risk and may die young, and that there's a chance of long-term missions that may take them away for weeks, months, or years.

So yes, I can see the majority of spouses telling their astronauts that they'll still be there in three years, although of course it'd be interesting to know how many were actually did.

[–] Befus (494) 6 years ago

People like you are a big part of what's wrong with the world today, no patience and no commitment. A little hardship comes up and you just say "screw it, I'll get a divorce."

[–] Hans-Wilhelm (1355) 6 years ago

Exactly THEY abandoned the marriage for work/ career. 2 -3 years of absence.....WILLINGLY?
Damn straight I'd divorce. Marriage comes before job...not the other way around.

[–] PaladinNJ (21509) 6 years ago

It takes a brave person to love an astronaut.

[–] ExTechOp (2770) 6 years ago

One of the less emphasized aspects of Tom Wolfe’s The Right Stuff was the fact that the astronauts’ & test pilots’ wives, too, were heroes for supporting them. They, too, had the right stuff.

[–] Otter (24464) 6 years ago

Great book, great movie! And yeah, I liked that both the book and the movie was very serious about what the pilots and astronauts wives had to go through. (Same for the excellent "Apollo 13".) There was even a miniseries or something about those women a few years ago, called "Astronaut's Wives" or something. I wasn't able to watch it, but I don't recall it setting the world on fire.

So yeah, if any of the same relationship dynamics are still going on in the families of today's astronauts, the answer is "yes", most of the spouses will stick around.

[–] Ranb (9595) 5 years ago

Some people in the military deploy alone, it affects their marriages, but they still stay married.