I don't have chronic pain so I don't understand so help me...

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[deleted]

There are so many ways that chronic pain can drive away friends. I'll list some from my own personal experience.

1. The pain, in itself, is a personal isolation. Most of the time that you're in the company of other people, you are separated from them by the fact that you are in pain and they are not. You're simply not in the same headspace. Even if the other person has chronic pain, it is likely a different type to yours.

2. You're unable to keep up physically. You need more rest stops, less walking, more sitting, and few people have the patience for that.

3. You're often spaced out/unable to concentrate on conversation, either from pain or from strong painkillers to cope with the pain. That one is a no-win situation.

4. You're no longer working or can do the hobbies you once enjoyed. You are no longer part of those communities.

5. You're unreliable - you often have to cancel last minute, which puts people off inviting you anywhere. Nobody likes to be cancelled on.

6. For various reasons (flare-ups, surgeries, treatment failures etc) you become housebound for extended periods of time, weeks, months, years...and each time you reappear there are less people interested in you.

7. Your own personal journey of grief for the person you once were, the job and hobbies you once loved, and a life free of pain. This is not to be underestimated, it is horrific.

I hope that helps x