This remake is literal proof that Europeans (especially Danish) wil always be CUCKS

W..T..F. Was this movie??

After watching this travesty of a movie, I was so shocked and appalled at how absolutely stupid the final act was (that completely rewrites everything about what made the original any good), that I had to investigate who is responsible.

I was ready to blame p*ssy American sensibilities, soulless corporate focus group Hollywood machinery, undeserving nepo-babies in inherited positions of producer power

Oh no.
What do I find?

The two Danish CUCKS who wrote the first relative masterpiece also worked on this TRASH 💩. Credited as WRITERS, along with the director, who is ALSO the writer for Eden Lake👍 if you can believe it. How in the absolute FUCK do you go from those to THIS as a remake?

I can only conclude Watkins (writer/director) is the a typical p*ssy American finally wanting to seek his fortune and cash out after a long career of making movies he actually wanted to make, and now in the state of his career he just wants to aim for a good theater cinema grade and hefty residuals. Ok fine that's the American dream. 🤷‍♂️

And so then these two Danish motherf*ckers (writers) tripped all over themselves...couldn't drop to their knees fast enough to be the Yes Men little puppet writers and acquiesce to everything for that Yeehaw Western American money. These Danes, Christian Tafdrup and Mads Tafdrup...they are like the protagonist male in this movie: weak and pathetic, like little slave collar donkeys, allowed themselves to be walked all over, while maintaining a smile on their faces.

That's one scenario. The other is that this remake was these guys' "true vision" and they were in the driver's seat all long....
and in which case it just means they're just two clowns once mistaken for geniuses...just dime a dozen crackhead equivalents, just more in the line of writers whose job I CAN NOT WAIT to be taken by AI.

LITERALLY how hard is it stick a landing when you have the blueprint already written in front of you??? The first 2/3 of this movie was very good as far as remakes go..minor things here and there, the grotesquely offensive lack of nudity, etc.. I was able to overlook that.

...Then Act III they throw the kid in the river, the big divergence point, and I swear from that point I feel like I start experiencing a slow motion car crash, as my enjoyment level starts taking a steep dive..soon I couldn't even believe what I was watching any more.

Everything after that point, A CHILD could have written. I think one did. (maybe they gave it to that 13 year girl as a one day homework assignment?). What the absolute hell was that? There was a moment McAvoy get slapped back by his woman I swear to shit I was terrified she was going to suddenly take a hammer and smash his balls with a hammer and yell "For women everywhere I'm free! Go vote!" and put on a pink p*ssy overy hat or something.

Thankfully they didn't go that direction..big relief. But really, was the movie's actual ending that much less horrifying? Instead of the master stroke of the original,, these protagonists get the kills and THE 13 YEAR OLD GIRL even gets the final assist? Is this a joke?

After a good first 2/3, I was left so bored by the end and mind wandering that I was doing things on the computer and barely paying attention any more... if I wanted a standard, American, increasingly AI-powered ending I wouldn't have started watching this, and with much anticipation, in the first place. Total crap (relatively). Watchable as a standard horror but not worth the original it was graffiti'd over.

In conclusion: Danish people are pushover CUCKS. Europeans should stay in EUROPE and stop watering down their craft just so that a few Americans with fancy expensive things will like them. Europeans: Americans probably shit talk you behind your back anyway I've seen it, especially if you're not super pale. Some things you actually DO do better. Stand up for yourselves dammit!!

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