MovieChat Forums > Me Before You (2016) Discussion > As A Physically Disabled Adult

As A Physically Disabled Adult

posted 8 years ago by cadosager
93 replies | jump to latest

Hey there. I'm a 19 year old man who's been confined to a wheelchair since I was three years old because of a genetic disease. In my experience, I've had dark moments where I debated to myself whether my life was worth living. As I get older, I'll slowly lose more and more usage of my body. Living with that shadow looming over you is difficult. However, at the end of all my contemplations, it's been clear that life is worth living. I've made incredible friends, achieved and am maintaining a 3.9 GPA in college, travelled across the country and have even fallen in love. Life is worth living. We live in a world of opportunities. What message does this film send to impressionable disabled youth or, for that matter, anyone living with disabilities grappling with their existence? I think this film is fairly insensitive. I hope its message was simply rooted in ignorance.

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Mitchmuse 8 years ago

01. I am not here to debate, nor get the wind up. It is wonderful that many people, with physical matters, vary and have educated those reading the posts with their personal experiences. Diversity is everywhere.

02. The reason I watched this movie was due to the fantastic cast of actors. The story was interesting and showed how far the two main characters had evolved as individuals, but with different endgames.

03. I would recommend the movie to most people. It is not a topic that is highly represented. Whether one agrees, or disagrees, the writer achieves their purpose of telling a story that leaves the viewer with much to ponder. There is a lot of grey area that is simply not answered with a 'fit and proper' solution.

[–] dagmar-51196 8 years ago

I agree wholeheartedly with you cadosager. We watched this movie last night. I absolutely hated the ending. Apparently finding love and being loved is not as important as being athetic and successful in business. More importantly your comment on impressionable disabled youth. 2 rows behind us a young girl was absolutely sobbing uncontrollably, the theatre was full and everyone could hear her. It was a teenage girl in a wheelchair. Of course I don't know what was going through her mind, but it was obvious and logical that this movie and the ending was affecting her greatly. I just hope and pray that she did not come to the same conclusion as the main character of the movie. The ending was simply terrible.

[–] bongcastaneda 8 years ago

I think what makes everybody blind about the movie, is that Will loved death more than Living with and loving Lou.
Actions speak louder than words.
Yes, it is a pain to live even if you aren't a quadriplegic.
But there are persons, or things or events in life that make us choose to live inspite of the suffering because the reward is so much better.
In this case, lou wasnt enough for Will to chose to live.
The author must be laughing at people who don't get the real message.
Sugarcoated but plain for people who arent blinded by manipulative psychological trickery,
Being with Lou wasnt enough, Their love wasnt enough so he chose death.
Yes, death, no suffering but no love either.
Did he really love her?
Couldnt he sacrifice just like Lou was willing to?
So Lou wasnt enough to stop him.
After taking away all the kiddie stuff from the movie, im just sorry but this is the takeaway message that it leaves me with.
It's depressing because the guy gaveup on Lou.
Its a giveup movie, no hope movie, better to just give up inspite of all the other blessings this life may give to you like true love.
It's really strange, the message almost seemed diabolical to me, very manipulative.

[–] Zuckerwattederivat 8 years ago

Haha I'm so astonished of how full of themselves some users on these boards are.

Aside from that. I have to admit I think the author is proud of this book, as he achieved exactly what he wanted to achieve. A debate on a really philosophical and ethically challenging topic which has been discussed on a political scale in many countries for decades now. The question if one person's entitlement to make their own decisions, reaches as far as to decide if they wanted to live or die for whatever personal reasons, and if there should be medical institutions which could help those people to die peacefully, if they wished. There are many pro and contra arguments in this matter, and it is good that there are people like the author of the book, this film is based on, who contribute to this debate artistically or otherwise.
Now I have to admit, I didn't read the book and, shame on me, I don't even know the author's name, but I think the film showed quite well, aside from being a really good romance with a sad ending, of which there are many others, that this is indeed a challenging subject with many different points of view.
In no way can I see how someone would think the message of the film was, that every disabled person should go ahead and murder themselves, or better yet straight on accuse the artistic minds behind the book or the film that they wanted to trick disabled people into doing so

That said, my personal opinion on this is, that everybody has the right to decide for themselves if their life is worth living or not. But I think such a decision should be made carefully, and in full awareness of how hard it would be for all the people someone leaves behind. That's why many legislators who proposed aforementioned medical institutions in other countries also proposed some kind of period in which an applicant wouldn't be able to get an euthanasia and is left to rethink their decision for said period of time. Another topic which was depicted in the movie.
That said I can also see, why many people oppose this opinion and why such laws and institutions aren't common in most democratic states today.

[–] dhooghesven 8 years ago

I think you should rewatch the movie because you seemed to miss the point completely.

He loves Lou so much he doesn't want to tie her down. He wants her to experience life to the fullest and realises she never will because she will always stay by his side

Couldnt he sacrifice just like Lou was willing to?

He was, he gave his life so she could be free to have a life like he used to have.

[–] paulfitzpa 8 years ago

It's ignorant to think that everyone can tolerate being disabled and being continually ill. The character had a number of health issues. He made a rational decision to end his own life and I believe he should have that right.

[–] Malice_Unarmed 8 years ago

I've had about 13 surgeries throughout my 33 years on this earth, I have no arms, left leg that's shorter then the right, scoliosis, with a now fused spine. On 400mg of morphine daily. I hate people who wallow in self pity, boo f'n hoo, everyone has issues, mental or physical but there's always a reason to keep moving forward.

I haven't seen this movie yet, was thinking my wife may like it, but will likely cry too much lol, don't think I would like it tho from the sounds of it.

[–] Malice_Unarmed 8 years ago

I've had about 13 surgeries throughout my 33 years on this earth, I have no arms, left leg that's shorter then the right, scoliosis, with a now fused spine. On 400mg of morphine daily. I hate people who wallow in self pity, boo f'n hoo, everyone has issues, mental or physical but there's always a reason to keep moving forward.

If you have a terminally ill disease and all you have to look forward too is pure misery then I have no issue with euthanasia.

I haven't seen this movie yet, was thinking my wife may like it, but will likely cry too much lol, don't think I would like it tho from the sounds of it.

[–] cadosager 8 years ago

My disability is nowhere near as impactful as yours, but I feel similarly. Thanks for sharing. Don't know if you are the spiritual/religious type, but I'll pray for you brother. Continue loving life, friend.

[–] summer_wine7 8 years ago

I understand where you're coming from, but I don't entirely agree (I also don't entirely disagree). I agree that any message of suicide as a happy ending can be harmful - for anyone, disabled or not, who is doubting life's worth.

With that said, that doesn't mean that people whose stories in which it IS a choice should be silenced. That isn't entirely fair either.

Furthermore, by trying to silence people with suicidal thoughts because exploring that path makes us uncomfortable, we can potentially make it worse and make them feel even more lonely. You're right - this movie could influence someone who is in a similar situation and at a low to see it as a more viable option; but it could also encourage them to talk to their family about it and THAT could end up saving their life.

I was sad that they did not let Will grow past the idea of suicide - but at the same time, it would have been just as harmful if they had presented the idea that being in love is a cure for suicidal thoughts. Because it isn't. It can temporarily numb the pain, but it's not any kind of "permanent solution" for someone who feels life truly isn't worth living, for whatever reason.

I understand what a sensitive subject it is - I understand it very well. That doesn't mean, however, that it isn't good that it's starting conversations.