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Hell has frozen over! (Star Wars fanboys BASH new movie!)

posted 7 years ago by ReelReviews14 (1221)
12 replies | jump to latest

Pinch me.

I NEVER thought I’d live to see this day! A week ago, I predicted on facebook that REGARDLESS of the quality of the new Star Wars movie, fanboys who saw it the opening weekend would rate it “10/10” and tell EVERYONE it is a mind-blowing, super awesome EPIC MASTERPIECE that is the MUST SEE MOVIE OF THE YEAR. Only months later, when the film is available on video and already made billions at the box office, would they discuss the movie objectively and dismiss the fawning praise they heaped on it earlier by saying they had been “blinded by nostalgia”.

This was an awesome rock solid “safe” prediction for me to make. I’m not old enough to have seen the original trilogy on the big screen, but I’ve been seeing Star Wars fanboys overhype their mediocre movies since The Phantom Menace in ’99, and NO Star Wars movie EVER lived up to the fawning praise they heaped on the movie at the time it was in theaters, since they made it sound like the second coming. “Blinded by nostalgia” is a valid excuse the FIRST time around, sure, because it had been sixteen years since anything new Star Wars related and they were so desperate to see new Star Wars that they were brainwashed into thinking Phantom Menace was amazing. Still, that is no excuse for them heaping praise on the followup turd, Attack of the Clones (you could even tell from the “1950s sci-fi B-movie” sounding title that THAT movie was GOING to suck) and falsely claiming it was “much better” than Phantom Menace and that George Lucas had “learned his lesson”. And so on it went with the blindly loyalty to worship and adore anything and everything with the word “Star Wars” in the title… Revenge of the Sith, the Clone Wars, The Force Awakens, Rogue One… you name it, they would eagerly declare the movie is a brilliant masterpiece the moment it got released. LucasFilm could release “Star Wars: The Chewbacca Ball Sack Saga” movie which consisted of two hours of “Chewie” scratching his balls, and Star Wars fans would rate it four stars and tell EVERYONE that Chewie’s Ball Sack is a MUST SEE MOVIE that will BLOW YOU AWAY.

Heck , even AFTER the smoke had cleared and Star Wars fanboys could no longer pretend so-and-so movie is a flawless masterpiece, they’d continue to support it and eagerly fork over money for it in public, even while saying otherwise on the internet (e.g. saying “the prequels don’t count, only the original trilogy is real Star Wars”, but then eagerly beating down the door to see The Phantom Menace on the big screen AGAIN a decade later, when George Lucas created an enhanced “IMAX 3D” version – as if 3D would magically make JarJar Binks watchable or 6 year old Anakin not annoying)

So now, after 30+ years, a Star Wars movie… DOESN’T get fawning praise from the fanboys the INSTANT it’s released to theaters? I am still in SHOCK over this. Over on Rotten Tomatoes, The Last Jedi actually has a 93% “fresh” score from critics, but a pathetic 56% ROTTEN score from “audiences”, giving it LESS positive reception than that turdfest Justice League. My jaw dropped when I discovered this. I could totally buy the opposite reaction (the movie getting 56% from professional critics who don’t care about Disney’s latest shallow cash grab, but 93% from fanboys who believe ANYTHING with the word ‘Star Wars’=AMAZING) If you had told a month ago there would be a new Star Wars movie on the big screen and Star Wars fans WEREN’T treating it like some beloved sacred cow, I wouldn’t have believed you.

Star Wars has basically lived off fond memories of The Empire Strikes Back for the last 37 years. So it may have taken over 3 decades, but if Star Wars fans are FINALLY willing to look at NEW Star Wars movies OBJECTIVELY instead of blindly supporting them, this is a good sign for humanity. Actually, it’s a GREAT sign. This will begin a new era for Star Wars fandom. You have matured as a fan base and can join other fan bases like Star Trek fans, in looking at new products in your franchise with a careful eye, and demanding quality entertainment. The medieval world of Star Wars fanboys submitting completely to their corporate masters is now over. The Enlightenment of Star Wars fandom has begun! You will soon find that you can go new places, now that your eyes have been opened.

We non-Star Wars fanboys stand ready to support you as you take these first brave steps into this mysterious, unknown world.

WELCOME ABOARD! :-)

[–] [deleted] 7 years ago

I think it's because Kylo Ren carries a burning cross and people don't want to be seen associating with that kind of behaviour Reel.

[–] Otter (24464) 7 years ago

Apparently you missed "The Force Awakened" and the fanboy reaction.

[–] ReelReviews14 (1221) 7 years ago

>> Apparently you missed "The Force Awakened" and the fanboy reaction. <<

Nope. I remember it quite well. They had all orgasms over the movie and talked about how it was soooooooo much better than the prequels and had brought the "true" Star Wars from their childhood back from the dead. When I balked at their overenthusiastic love for the movie and said I will judge it for myself when it comes out on DVD, they all cried foul and said I was just being cynical because I was still mad about the prequels.

[–] ReelReviews14 (1221) 7 years ago

In fact, I remember if ANYONE posted a review of The Force Awakens in Dec. 2015 that was anything less than fawning praise, they were IMMEDIATELY attacked by legions of other fanboys and subdued for posting "spoilers". I remember one guy posted a less than "this movie is 100% awesome" response and tried to look at the movie objectively. He noted that Kylo Ren was a weak Vader wanna be villain. His fellow fanboys freaked out over this being supposedly "spoilers" about Kylo Ren, and quickly had his post vanquished from the internet, and lashed out at him for "nitpicking" the movie.

[–] AP (5295) 7 years ago

Don't forget accusations of hating women and minorities if you didn't like their beloved movie. Some of that is dying down now but you still see one or two idiots making that noise on the internet.

[–] Keith4832 (110) 7 years ago

Well, I'm appreciative of both Star Wars and Star trek and I try to be as objective as possible. I'm definitely not a slobbering fan. Inventing new editions to an original story may lessen the impact of the former one way or another and frequently because profits matter more to studios than anything else, so I'm sceptical of the new.

[–] actionkamen (23176) 7 years ago

Well, your prediction skillz sucked.

[–] Tyalt (306) 7 years ago

Rogue One is amazing. Best Star Wars movie imo.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

"You have matured as a fan base and can join other fan bases like Star Trek fans, in looking at new products in your franchise with a careful eye, and demanding quality entertainment."

Well that's just a joke. I seem to recall a Star Trek trilogy that literally erased Star Trek history and turned it into a lame action franchise. The first one was popular enough for two sequels.

Star Trek has lived off fond memories of The Next Generation.

[–] ReelReviews14 (1221) 7 years ago

>>
Well that's just a joke. I seem to recall a Star Trek trilogy that literally erased Star Trek history and turned it into a lame action franchise. The first one was popular enough for two sequels.
<<

Ummm... UNLIKE the Warsies, Star Trek fans were ALWAYS had severe reservations about Abrams putting his "vision" on their franchise. Perhaps you missed The Onion article from 2009 making fun of Star Trek fans where it said "Trekkies bash new Star Trek movie as fun, watchable". (https://entertainment.theonion.com/trekkies-bash-new-star-trek-film-as-fun-watchable-1819594814) You won't see any parody article like that making fun of Star Wars reacting to Abrams vision for The Force Awakens. They were TOTALLY supportive of it at the time and heaped praise on him, saying the movie was sooooooooooo much better than the prequels and a return to the "true" Star Wars of their childhood.

Trekkies had MAJOR issues with JJ making shallow movies that didn't contribute anything new to the franchise, dumbed it down for the masses, and rehashed stuff from movies made 30 years ago.

But Warsies stood by that "vision" for their franchise 100%.

>> Star Trek has lived off fond memories of The Next Generation. <<

Aaaaaaaaaaand you just contradicted yourself. The Abrams reboots didn't draw anything from The Next Generation at all. In fact, the whole point of them was to divorce the franchise from Rick Berman era Trek, and return to the classic Trek setting from the 1960s.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

I love how you cast entire fanbases as if they're singular entities with a single mind and they all felt the exact same way.

I read that kind of crap and just roll my eyes, it's a bullshit tactic and it makes your entire point sound idiotic. So after enough of that I didn't even want to finish reading.

[–] furiousstyles (4392) 7 years ago

TLJ was crap, the OT was great, TFA was good , RO was good , the PT were a let down , i just want to watch entertaining films dude, doesnt have to be this unique new story , it doesnt have to be a rehash , just make me a good star wars film.