MovieChat Forums > Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) Discussion > Would this have been a better plot:

Would this have been a better plot:

posted 3 years ago by MovieChatUser497 (18943)
17 replies | jump to latest

So the film starts with the Republic still standing, and the First Order not being a thing. Luke is training Jedi and Ben is his greatest student and his apprentice. Throughout the film they discover that the First Order (or some other faction whatever you want to call it), is starting to increase in number and is becoming a legitimate threat (much like the Separatists). There is no Snoke, instead Darth Plageius (he didn’t die when Sidious “killed him in his sleep” because he knows how to cheat death, he was waiting until Sidious was dead before rising to power again) is behind the rise in the First Order. Ben is seduced by Plageius and turns to the Dark Side. When Luke and Ben (now Kylo Ren) are on a mission, Kylo betrays him and leaves him for dead on the island planet to die. Rey (or some character in the place of Rey) was one of Luke’s younger, less advanced students and he/she, now being the dominant force user now that Ben has betrayed the Republic and Luke is marooned. She joins with the Republic Army to counter the threat of the First Order. Also there is no resistance in this movie, instead it's just the Republic vs. The First Order (or whatever you want to call it)There is also attention paid to a soldier in the First Order (FINN) who will later defect in the 2nd or 3rd part, but instead of him going through his character arc right as we meet him, we get to know him as a stormtrooper and what exactly caused him to want to switch sides. Also there are no Storm Troopers, First Order Soldiers look nothing like Storm Troopers. Throughout the course of the first film and the first half of the second film FINN is ordered to do immoral things like burn a village down, shoot innocent civilians in cold blood, etc. The big climax is the heroes (Han, Leia, Chewie, Rey, Poe, etc.) find the first order base, there is a battle, which focuses on destroying a Dreadnaut which they do, however most of the FO ships escape. Kylo will still kill Han Solo (Han and Leia never split up). Rey and Kylo also fight however Rey loses and has to be saved by someone else (Poe maybe???). The film ends with Luke waking up (he didn't die) force calling Rey, telling her where he is and she/he finds him and Luke immediately begins training her to be his new apprentice.

In the second part I thought at the very beginning the Republic would be searching the galaxy for the First Order's base of operations, however the First Order uses this as chance to take advantage and they invade Correscant, hoping to kill the new Supreme Chancellor and take over the government. The first act would involve Leia, Chewie, Poe, and other Republic leaders defending Correscant and saving the Supreme Chancellor. However they are eventually overrun and Leia, Chewie, Poe, C3PO, BB-8, the Supreme Chancellor and other government officials escape. The second act involves the group trying to meet up with the rest of the Republic Army that was spread across the galaxy however there is a traitor on the Falcon and their position is ratted out to the First Order who captures them. Rey and Luke have been training on the Island Planet the whole time (R2-D2 is with them as well), however they see that their friends and the Supreme Chancellor are captured, they both decide to leave to help them (Luke is not a coward in this). Meanwhile FINN eventually decides that he can no longer be a soldier of the First Order and he rescues the group from captivity, this is very reminiscent of Chris Taylor in Platoon who again is morally conflicted when he is ordered to burn a village down. Rey and Luke arrive, Luke has a lightsaber fight with Kylo (no force projection, he is actually fighting him) however loses and is killed while Rey rescues everyone in the Falcon and they escape.

The third part would involve the group retaking Correscantand Darth Plageius is now the Supreme Chancellor. I'm wouldn’t have Kylo redeem himself, that's just Anakin's story all over again. The Supreme Chancellor dies in the battle to and Rey defeats Kylo, but then Plageius cuts her leg off. However the force spirit of Anakin (or Luke???) takes over Kylo’s mind for a brief period, saves her from Plageius, then Kylo dies. Since Plageius can’t die or else he’ll just come back to life the Republic arrests him and he rots in some kind of “anti-force” prison cell where his force powers don’t work. Rey is given a mechanical leg, Leia is elected to be the new Supreme Chancellor while Rey, and FINN join the Republic Army.

Yeah I know this isn't great, I came up with this in like 5 minutes but I think it’s a better idea to show how the First Order rose to power, how Rey knows the force (she was simply just one of Luke’s students and not a Mary Sue), and what exactly happened to FINN that made him want to make such a radical decision. When the Force Awakens first begins pretty much everything that had been accomplished in the OT had been undone and that all took place in the fucking title crawl.

[–] MovieChatUser497 (18943) 3 years ago

Also as far as FINN goes , his father was an imperial officer who was killed in the battle of Endor, FINN joined the first order because he wanted to honor his fathers memory by helping take down the Republic, but as he sees how evil the first order is he realizes he can’t continue being a mindless killer for them so he changes sides.

[–] millsey72 (10947) 3 years ago

Nah, I prefer what Disney did instead

[–] MovieChatUser497 (18943) 3 years ago

OK, just for shits and giggles I’ll bite, what do you not like about my plan, and keep in mind this is a work in progress and a very rough draft, I also acknowledge that I am not a screenwriter.

[–] triplea (3577) 3 years ago

You didn't have a Mary Sue is what they are saying.

The soy is strong with millsey.

[–] MovieChatUser497 (18943) 3 years ago

Yeah I figured his response would be that my script’s SJW messages aren’t as in your face as they should be (not that I have any).

[–] millsey72 (10947) 3 years ago

Your script has too many plot holes in it. I rather you put your time in writing a new script for The Dark Knight Rises. Anything would be better than the one we got

[–] triplea (3577) 3 years ago

Literally any storyline would be better than Disney's.

[–] MovieChatUser497 (18943) 3 years ago

Seriously, some of the problems with Disney Star Wars are:
1) There are TOO MANY CHARACTERS, I realize they wanted to sell more action figures but with so many characters it’s kind of hard to develop them properly. In my script I kept Luke, Han, Leia, Chewie, C-3PO, R2-D2, Poe, Rey, FINN, Kylo, Hux, Captain Phasma and now I’m thinking of having a new character who was another Jedi who wasn’t killed during the attack on Luke’s Jedi school who becomes Rey’s companion/sidekick in Episode IX, and of course I’m trading out Snoke for Darth Plageius. I am removing Rose (yeah tough choice), Lando, BB8, Babu Frick, Zori Bliss, DJ, Maz Kanada, Vice Admiral Holdo, whoever that girl on Endor was, etc.
2) At the very beginning, we are immediately reverted to how we were at the beginning of A New Hope, my script shows how we got from Episode VI to Episode VII, I acknowledge it isn’t perfect but it at least shows how we got there
3) The characters act almost nothing like how they were when we last left them such as Han and Luke. My script keeps them true to themselves, Han doesn’t become a smuggler AGAIN, and Luke goes out with honor

Also I’m thinking of adding in a concept where Force Ghosts can briefing inhabit a living person (Obi-Wan figured out how to do this). It only works for a short time though and if the force user is experienced then they can eject you from their bodies and it won’t work. (Thus it won’t work on Kylo or Plageius).

[–] triplea (3577) 3 years ago

3) Corporate focus groups likely 'identified' what people considered characters should be like before writing the script. So Han Solo = Smuggler who flies the Millennium Falcon, so that's the directive and 'I don't care how it happens, just make him that way.'
2) Proven formula that works from a producers perspective. $4B investment means no risks are to be taken on major plot elements.
1) Absolutely too many. For one I've always stated that Finn & Poe should have been 1 character not 2. The First Orders most gifted pilot defecting to the Resistance would have made for an interesting story point.

[–] MovieChatUser497 (18943) 3 years ago

Yes I agree that FINN had the potential to be a great character. I didn’t have him change sides until the second part, in the first part he is there when Luke’s Jedi are being slaughtered, in the second part when the first order takes Correscant he is there when innocent people are put into slave camps, he is there when Leia, Poe and Chewie are captured and Poe is tortured, we see him see the horrors of the First Order and we see how he changed so that his defection makes sense and it is an earned moment. I wouldn’t make FINN a clown either, he’s a serious character, Poe was the fun character so keep him that way.

[–] triplea (3577) 3 years ago

Yeah no idea why they made him a clown.

Also I don't mind that angle. Have Finn internally conflicted between the propaganda he's been taught about the Resistance and the prisoners he's guarding as he learns more about them.

[–] MovieChatUser497 (18943) 3 years ago

That’s a great idea and I thought it would be good to make him more of a Chris Taylor like character. He is first enthusiastic about joining because he wants to live up to what his father did but once he gets in he sees the horror of what his side is actually doing.

[–] MovieChatUser497 (18943) 3 years ago

Also how about this, in part I when Kylo defeats Rey, Han intervenes, he tries to talk him down and he kills him. So Han saved her life and died because of it.

[–] LanceDance (1397) 3 years ago

Not bad, you clearly put more effort into the story than they did at least. I personally would've liked to see an adaptation of what happened in the original EU books before they were decanonized.

At roughtly the same time that the sequel trilogy happened, the books had Han and Leia's eldest son, Jacen Solo, become Darth Caedus. Instead of Rey there was Jacen's twin sister, Jaina, who was the female character that would eventually take over the role of main character as Rey did. She wasn't a Mary Sue, but she was skilled. She was good with machines because of time spent with her father, and she trained hard to be a powerful Jedi knight, and eventually Jedi master.

But before Darth Caedus, I would've liked to have seen the story arc that preceded his storyline, namely the fight against the Yuuzhan Vong, an outer-galactic alien race that was hellbent on destroying everyone. It was a major event in the books and one that non-book readers should have the privilege to see on the big screen. Changes will have to be made of course, and book readers will likely complain about it, but non-book readers will at least get to see what really happened after Return of the Jedi. Luke and Han don't abandon Leia and run away, Luke's Jedi order isn't destroyed off-screen, and we get a true passing of the torch with Jaina Solo.

[–] MovieChatUser497 (18943) 3 years ago

Oh yes from what I understand Kathleen Kennedy had plenty of material to work with with the expanded universe and she didn’t utilize any of it. I place most of the blame on her. She seemed more concerned with promoting her own agenda rather than telling a story.

[–] Otter (24464) 3 years ago

A practical problem with this story is that it gives large roles to Luke, Han, and Leia, and would have required either taking 30 years off the the movie's stars, or replacing them.

We've all seen how replacing Harrison Ford in the role went, and well. CGI isn't good enough or cheap enough to take 30 years off of actors who are in every frame of a film and who will need convincing facial expressions to make the movie work, nor is it good enough to re-create the dead.

[–] Karl Aksel (1498) 3 years ago

I didn't read past the title, but the answer is almost certainly yes.