However, putting that little speech into Lisa's mouth at the end is the giveaway. How convenient that she neatly philosophises the whole episode into something palatable for us. Would you believe it - she is not horribly damaged by the experience! She is conveniently 'okay' more or less.
Hi, I do think there is some sense of abuse in this scene. She brings up multiple times (since the first time he brings up kissing) that she is uncomfortable with the entire situation. She even tried to leave.
Manipulation is one thing, but let's not forget; she admires him, she has low self-esteem, she is drunk and she hasn't been in contact with a sexual partner in 8 years.
So that makes her more susceptible to abuse. If Michael didn't just have sex in mind, which we all know he did, he would have left it at "let's lie down and talk about our day". But that was manipulation to make her more comfortable and to make her lie down next to him.
Also she obviously didn't want him to go down on her but I think she felt like she had to say yes, she felt pressured and was eager to please him and to not disappoint him, especially that she admires him and she probably thinks that she doesn't deserve to be picky. And let's not forget one major point 'she wants to be loved', "everyone wants to be loved" is brought a lot in the film. And a lot of the time, people will do things they don't want to do in the hopes of being loved. And it's not because they didn't say 'no' and fight back in the conventional movie way that we perceive rape, that this is any less of an abuse. Abuse and rape can be very subtle especially when it's rape that is more emotional than physical (i don't know if i'm making myself clear).
Anyways, in such cases, one of the defense mechanisms of what I'd call "emotionally fueled rape" is to turn it into this sappy romantic event where you 'understand' your abuser and 'forgive' them. Since all your feelings get jumbled up and when you have low self-esteem and such high need for love, you'll take anything, even abuse and disguise it as "something beautiful".
She seems 'conveniently 'okay' more or less' because she wants to be. It's still fresh, she's obviously been damaged before in some way (could also be of sexual abuse seing that it is the same mark as the sex-doll), so automatically, she protects herself.
I don't think Kaufman is saying abuse is okay and that the abuser should be forgiven or whatever. But rather that, "everything has a back story, everyone has lives, everyone has had 'a day'" like Michael says in the film during the speech. Like you said; I deeply feel that Kaufman is trying to convey people honestly, complexity and all. Because c'mon, people are not hollywood characters that scream loud and clear exactly what they're feeling, etc. People get into denial, they manipulate memories and emotions, they hide and pretend, they usually hate themselves, everyone around them and the system they are forced to be a part of (all this is mentioned in Michael Stone's speech).
I think this movie portrayed realistically and honestly the complexity of human relations with others and themselves. And I don't think Kaufman was pushing for any kind of judgment of these characters. I feel like he delivered a story and left the judging to us, something we are so very good at, so why do it for us?
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