100 things I learned from Dark Skies...

45) Aliens hate bacon.

46) Felicity has kept her word and hasn't cut her hair again.

47) When you find your dishes and picture frames stacked up in such intricate ways to leave geometric shapes and designs when the light hits them, immediately ask your youngest son if he did it because all five year olds are mathematical wizards.

48) Felicity didn't choose either Ben or Noel but settled for a dude who can't hold down a job.

55. Aliens - most of them - don't wear clothing.

61. If your son dies of some weird sickness, you'll be just fine as long as your wife, whom as far as you know, no longer has a vagina, is by your side.

62. Neck beards never have and never will look good.


I don't love her.. She kicked me in the face!!

63. A "very agressive" dog is perfectly safe to keep around small children

64. The husband always acts like a giant a**hole to add 20 extra minutes to the movie

65. Child protective services never really show up

66. Aliens behave exactly like ghosts

67. Aliens have the technology to mess up your video equipment but the don't now about still frames

68. Aliens like long walks in the street at midnight as much as the next guy

69. If your small child draws suspicious stick figures taking him by the hand, it's probably nothing. Forget about it for the next couple of years

70. Aliens can completely derail your senses and remote control people, but only one person at a time

71. Whatever weird stuff happens, the police will always laugh it off and tell you it was your child doing it

72. If it's just one full flock of birds crushing into your house, it's a perfectly normal thing

73. Alien scientists do absolutely nothing for a couple of years but start rushing the experiments over the course of a few weeks when they realize they are on a deadline

74. Being a drug addict or heavily alcoholic would make you pass the alien abductee test with flying colors

75. Aliens stay absolutely hidden, however, they have the compulsion to sign their work with an easily recognizable symbol of circles

"I am NaN, I am a free man!"

76. Autopsies are performed on deranged birds quite often. Never is it classified as a Necropsy.

77. If your young child is seen at the community pool with horrendous bruises all over their body, people WILL whisper and gawk in amazement. No one will ever follow-up on why the child even has the bruises. Not to worry though, life goes on as normal.

78. Realtors are really just honest human beings who don't really care about making a sale.

N. When both parents have blue eyes but one of their two children has brown eyes, the aliens want the child with the blue eyes.

My name is Colin Creevey
and I’m a photoholic.