I wouldn't agree with the zero voice talent, I think the cast did a brillant job. But I agree with rest of what you are saying!
Don't say that I don't know how to enjoy a good laugh, I do! I love watching Pixar, Disney, Dreamwork animated movies they are awesome! Except this movie, there are nothing special to the plots and I have seen a lot of the scenes in the trailers alrdy. The Minions are acting dumb and not in a funny way, it kinda annoys me like how can you guys be so stupid?
Also coz my fav character is Gru and the girls, their characters are so much better and richer yet the Minions get all the credits for the Despicable Me series and getting a stand alone movie.
It's upsetting but I get why people likes it, esp kids they love these cute little yellow creatures running ard doing dumb things and they find it funny. As for adults well it's a comedy and they look hella cute, plus everyone loves it so what the heck why not join the love Minion queue.
Minions are clumsy, and naive. those are the words you were looking for. Little kids like the minions because they are short, clumsy and naive. Its called empathy. They worry about the little fellas, every second of the movie. They dont mind that they don´t speak english, because little kids that are say 5 or 6 years old, are used to interact with babies that don´t speak clearly or don´t speak at all. This movie is for little kids and adults that are between 45 and 50 years old. I laffed out loud, like the whole theatre i was in. :) (i'm 45)
Every movie ever made is horrible according to IMDB. This wasn't horrible. Its was mediocre. Big difference. Maybe people should learn what the difference is.