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One of the most infuriating movies to watch

posted 11 years ago by AGreenman19
62 replies | jump to latest

Watch out, huge rant incoming, but I think you guys will enjoy it.

Every single character was completely irrational. I started keeping notes about halfway through, so the irrationality might be a little thin for the first part. Anyway, I'll try to go in order:

MOM: What is wrong with this lady? Why is it that the first thought on her mind is that Sam has been drinking or doing drugs, when she looks like some sort of bubonic plague victim?

She seems to think her daughter is some horrible person, hell-bent on destroying her own life, despite the fact that Sam appears to have no idea what's going on, and is expressing shock at things like the water being too hot, yet Mom immediately jumps to those self-destruction conclusions and even walks out on her, even though Sam looks like a bubonic plague victim and just gave herself severe burns. Nice to see you care, Mom!

SAM: When things finally get bad, she's on her way to the doctor when her boss, George, calls. So what does she do? She goes to work, despite waking up in a pool of blood, both menstrual and vomit, losing her tooth, and bleeding out from underneath her fingernails. "Fine, I'll be there in a minute". Are you kidding me?!

GEORGE: Finally someone notices how bad she looks, and even says "Yeah, you should go [to the doctor]." So what does he do next? Sends her back to work! WHAT?!

RILEY: Wow, he seems to be the only sensible character and offers to take her to the doctor. Sam of course lashes out about some drama crap: "Stay away from me!" Uh, shouldn't you be worried about your health, before telling people to stay out of your personal life?

SAM: Finally at the doctor. Again. The doctor says, "Don't come into contact with anyone." So what's the first thing Sam does after hearing this? Right, she comes into contact with someone.

DOCTOR: Speaking of the doctor, what a *beep* doctor he is! How useless! "Yeah, it looks like something's wrong with you... looks like an STD." No *beep* Well, what kind of STD? "I don't know, but it's probably an STD." Has this guy ever seen a sickness in his life? I'm sure he's seen loads of STDS... was he not at all concerned that this doesn't look like a SINGLE KNOWN SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE???

ALICE: Notices Sam is all kinds of messed up, but is more concerned about going to the police and telling their story, despite the fact that Sam looks like a bubonic plague victim. Priorities.

SAM: When she blows up at Riley and Alice, accusing them of trying to manipulate her life when she is fscking DYING. She should be WAY more concerned with what's happening to her than petty relationships and other high school drama. If I was in her position, I would be thinking of absolutely NOTHING else other than my own malady, not playing the blame game with other people while my life hangs in the balance.

MOM: Here she appears with the psychiatrist guy, and immediately starts asking if she's been drinking, when Sam has these enormous blue veins coursing across her face and arms, looks like a DEAD BODY, has blue-grey lips, and teeth are rotting out of her head. How is it even possible that Mom is this oblivious?

PSYCHIATRIST: I liked this part. First I thought he was an actual medical doctor who had come to diagnose Sam (presumably Mom finally came to her senses), but it turns out he's just a psychiatrist! While Sam and Mom are bickering, you can see the change in the Psych's face, and you start to think that maybe he's the ONLY sensible person in this whole goddamn movie, because maybe he's noticing her teeth or the fact that she looks like a dead body, but then he blurts out, "Well then talk, Samantha, tell us what's wrong!"

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

SAM: Then she goes to the fscking plant place, holding her DEAD plant, looking like a dead fscking body... what the HELL is she thinking? However, at this point, I can accept that the illness is probably going to her head, making her do crazy stuff, so I will no longer comment on what Sam is doing.

RECEPTIONIST: Doesn't seem terribly concerned at the sores on her face and giant blue veins, as well as generally looking like a dead body. I would've called an ambulance right there on the spot.

NIKKI: COMPLETELY 100% concerned about how Sam "fscked a man", despite seeing that she looks like a FSCKING DEAD BODY. What the hell is wrong with people's priorities in this movie?!

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HOW IS NOBODY AT ALL CONCERNED THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A CORPSE
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SAM: I know I said I wouldn't comment on Sam anymore, but I just couldn't get over her "I'm all alone now" line. JESUS FSCKING CHRIST. You're concerned about being all alone when you are DYING?????

ALICE: She KISSES Sam! I WOULD NEVER KISS SOMETHING THAT LOOKED LIKE THAT

I'm going to ignore the subsequent murderous rampage, because of all the crap that has happened in the movie, this actually makes the most sense. Interesting.

Holy *beep*

And what about that total red herring with BJ? What the hell? What was even the point of mentioning that the police was looking for him if there was not going to be any explanation why or any sort of resolution at all? So what if he was a child molester? That has absolutely no relevance on the story of this movie! What were the police going to do once they caught him? How would that further the story at all? What the hell was the point?

[–] mel2000 10 years ago

Haven't seen the movie but it sounds like it relies on what Roger Ebert called The Idiot Plot, where the plot is driven by the fact that all characters make idiotic decisions.

[–] southwindcg 10 years ago

Yeah, you nailed it. The movie is heavily populated by morons. I enjoyed the first hour or so, but by the end, it was just ridiculously implausible.

[–] linus-hirschi 9 years ago

Plausibility in films - the topic's a bore.

It just has to work. Keeping the lines between genres blurred can result in the best and the very worst of cinematic pleasures.

Didn't see this but the board strongly suggests that it is really the latter.

[–] thenikexperience 10 years ago

I agree and I had many of the same thoughts during the film...especially during the "YOU *beep* A MAN" part...like her face didn't even seem to notice that Sam was literally rotting away as she lived and breathed. WHAT THE HELL, NIKKI.

Someone's post saying that this film is about chauvinism and homophobia in the world is very interesting. I think that maybe this film is supposed to be a dark comedy (extremely dark) given the subject matter and also the utter STUPIDITY of the characters. Usually in dark comedies, extreme absurdity is used to highlight how the subjects discussed in the film are so absurd...like chauvinism, homophobia, slut-shaming, double standards, etc. all of these things were explored. To me, it seems probable that it's supposed to have a deeper meaning than just your average zombie movie.

[–] jonhopper217 10 years ago

This is so hilarious, because I just got through with this sad excuse for a movie and the first thought was "was there one character who reacted appropriately to anything.

Even the "cool" drug guy...."Oh yeah, I think I sold someone at your party roofies.

Not one redeeming quality about the entire thing, aside from the fact that she apparently was a vegetarian, but they didn't delve into that, hahaha

[–] luvtzone 10 years ago

HOW IS NOBODY AT ALL CONCERNED THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A CORPSE

Totally agree and very well said. I wanted to reach in and shake these people. That kiss? The maggots? Just nasty.

"You unlock this door with the key of imagination..."

[–] heretic369 10 years ago

Whew.. you invested much time into analyzing this turd of a movie.

But yeah, it really has to be on the top of most stupid movies i´ve seen.. and i´ve seen a lot.

[–] Panthro44 10 years ago

Yep. I agree 100%. The first trip to the doctor, he didn't even look at her pus. She was bleeding like she lost a stabbing contest to an octopus. Anyone who bleeds THAT MUCH opening day needs to be COMPLETELY HONEST with a doctor. An eye looking like the Terminator eye. Blue veins? Massive bleeding? Oh, yeah. Lemme take my time going to the doctor, and let me avoid being THOROUGHLY examined when I go there.

This film is terrible.

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When we're thinking about our own brain, would that be a mental paradox??

[–] Scribblenaut 10 years ago

Well, it all kinda starts to make sense when you find out that Sam is a recovering drug-addict. I've gotta say, someone strung out on heroin (apparently her drug of choice) does start to resemble a living corpse. Also, I have to imagine that a disease that's slowly turning you into a flesh eating zombie has to be effing with your cognitive abilities.

[–] Porn_Flakes 10 years ago

Well, it all kinda starts to make sense when you find out that Sam is a recovering drug-addict. I've gotta say, someone strung out on heroin (apparently her drug of choice) does start to resemble a living corpse.

This is what I thought in relation to the mothers' actions. Or, at least, her actions towards her daughter in the early stages of the changes she was going through. Obviously she didn't truth her daughter when she said she wasn't on drugs (which, technically, was a lie because she did use at one point in the movie but obviously it had no bearing on what was happening to her). I could understand her mothers concern and her acting like she was at the end of her rope. She had had a tough time coping with her daughter before in regards to her drug habit, so her irrationality wasn't surprising.

Her mother not realising something was drastically wrong without thinking it was simply her daughter using again was a bit of a stretch though.

Everyone else though? Yeah, that was pretty silly. Still, the movie was short and had good pacing to it, so I was still reasonably entertained despite how idiotic the characters were. The doctors though ... Goodness me, what an imbecile.

[–] ToHelenBackAgain 10 years ago

Ha, you give good rant, Greenman.

It's so disappointing, too, because it starts out so well. Most of the first half is pretty tremendous emotional suspense, and the implicit social commentary gives it a nice added layer of interest without being too in-your-face about it. Any viewer who's heard of ghouls and zombies knows what's happening to Sam, and the implacable inevitability of it, and waiting for Sam to admit it to herself, are gripping and scary.

Then it fairly abruptly descends into self-parody and completely falls apart.

Too bad. It had real potential.

"Good luck finding him." "Who said anything about 'him'?"