10 Reasons Why Spider-Man: Homecoming is Complete Garbage

[deleted]

8. Spider-Man's secret identity is sacrosanct. He is not just another MCU superhero where everyone knows who they are. People do not just figure out his identity by watching YouTube videos. Spider-Man is not careless with his identity at all and he does not reveal it easily. More importantly, when he does reveal it to someone, it is a highly dramatic, game-changing moment in any story. It does not happen as a casual bit of comedy, just so Spider-Man will have "someone to talk to" about his problems on screen, conveniently taking all of his intriguing subtext and expressing it in a flat, verbal way for the dumbed-down multiplex audience. The secret identity is another one of those qualities that adds to his burden in life and makes him relatable to us. He knows that his enemies will destroy the ones he loves if they know his identity. Therefore he protects it religiously as a literal matter of life and death.

9. Peter Parker is not some kind of slick-talking, conniving, scheming New Yawker. He is a soft-spoken, shy, polite kid. He is not some kind of Ferris Buller-like rebel who intentionally lies to authority figures to get away with things. He is the Cameron of the Ferris Bueller canon, the kid who would never engage in misbehavior and never try to get away with mischief unless he was forced to. This actor is performing Peter Parker completely wrong. Instead of the shyness we're getting some kind of fast-talking shyster character who is very unlikable and unrelatable.

10. Spider-Man does not have a powerful mentor who is constantly trying to give him advice and help him out. It can't be reiterated enough that he is a loner and a loser who is mostly on his own in life. He is burdened with helping other people and does not get much help from others himself. Putting Spider-Man in this subservient and protected role destroys his relatability. The sense of risk and danger is diminished because he's not "on his own." And whenever he does succeed, we don't get to cheer for him as much because of the advice and other help he received. It is supposed to be very hard for Spider-Man to ask for help because his identity is supposed to be secret. He would sacrifice almost any advantage to preserve that secrecy. Keeping that secret identity is how Spidey manages to maintain some parity when he teams up with other superheroes. To lose that secrecy puts him in such a weak and vulnerable position next to these other, often more powerful and resourceful heroes. As much as Peter Parker is weak, Spider-Man is his powerful alter ego who is supposed to come across as strong. Having another hero show up and show extreme power over him by knowing all his secrets, being able to improve all his technology and bossing him around just makes Spider-Man look like a total wuss and loser. This is the kind of mess that happens in comic books when a writer who hates Spider-Man gets to write the character and uses the opportunity to make some other character look much better and cooler.

"5. Liz Allen is a white, blonde, blue-eyed, beautiful girl. She is not a dog-faced, dark-skinned Michelle Obama lookalike. Seeing the male characters fawn over this ugly girl in the trailers is totally unconvincing. It is also obviously SJW-led, politically-correct preaching and pandering."

Wow, this is disgustingly racist.

"Adapting a character faithfully is usually what makes superhero movies great"

Uh no, not really. The Dark Knight trilogy was probably the least faithful adaptation of a superhero and yet the movies were all great.

In Spider-Man 2 Dock Ock is dressed in a hobo trench coat and is mind-controlled by his robotic arms. How was that a faithful adaptation?

The entire Iron Man trilogy totally butchered the backstory of their villains but most people didn't care just because they were all C-list characters

The X-Men movies change just about every detail that they possibly can. The costumes, the backstories, their ages, their good-bad alignment, etc. They portray the Sentinels as infused with Mystique DNA, Beast as being able to go back and forth from his Beast form, etc.

Just admit that what you really hate is that white characters are being played by black and brown people

The problem I have with this spm movie is that it was made for the worst of intentions. $$$ of course. It was to cash in on the fans and to make it 'the first ever spm in the mcu' well who cares? I know that fans of this happening will like it.

But the reason that I liked Tobey's spm the best was because it was made to be a spm movie. The director was a big fan of spm and boy did it show! When they gave him free reign on spm2 it showed! Best spider-man movie. Why? Because he loved spm.

This third reboot was made not for love, but money, to further people's careers. Sure Tom says he loves spm, etc....But so did Andrew. And his movies were by far the worst.

The director of this movie just wanted to direct it, just for the prestige. Have not heard that he was a fan or anything. How sad. Tbh the Andrew's spm movies makes spm3 with Tobey look like a MASTERPIECE! Come on people spm3 was not THAT bad. I actually recently re-watched all Tobey spm movies and it was not that bad. In comparison I could not even get past 10min of Andrew spm1!!! not even kidding. It was THAT bad. That's what happens when you make a movie for reasons for hate and not love. (Sony made it just to keep the rights)

Totally agree JediJones. It's also NOT RACIST...to not like a characters race change. I would bet that if they made the Falcon white we would here complaints from CyberBOOB that it was racist to change a black character white...lol....

To your points:
1. Totally agree. Tom's spm seems like an egotistical spm. 'look at me' I have not seen the movie yet, but this spm does not seem humble, maybe the actor just gives off those vibes I don't know.....
2. Yes, casting wayy off. This was basically to get the perv audience. 'Aunt may is hot! Come stare at her t!t$' I also don't like how much they objectify her. In one scene she is so sexualized 'I hope you got a few good licks in' it ALMOST seems as if she is coming on to her own nephew EWWWW! Sitting on the edge of his bed, acting flirty...yikes!
3. Great reason again! When I heard that he did not even make his own suit I was like...isn't he a genius or something. Yes it makes him look stupid.
4. Well since they are making this a sort of rom-com/high school drama you will always need the 'fat friend' character. Again this is not really a spm movie, it's a bastardized version where they just did whatever they thought would bring in the $$$. All comedies, especially high school comedies have the fat friend character. Super-bad, Dodge-Ball, shaun of the dead, etc...

Very well said! I agree completely on all your points, I had the exact same problems with this movie, which was very disappointing.