First thing I thought upon watching the opening scene

Try turning off the computer and focussing on watching the film rather than thinking up the next jerkoff comment to make on imdb. Often helps when watching films.

stop texting and start watching

I guess I'm not one of those people who enjoys movies that are representations of what they hate. I'd rather watch something worth actually watching. I.e. not watching something I hate watching.

And Tim IS ugly to me.

funny you say that, so does the director, since this is a satire of that culture. I'm not sure how you didn't catch onto that.

I wasn't expecting anything. Just felt like watching movies and this was one I found for free streaming on the interwebs.

If you would have bothered to watch the trailer on youtube before watching the whole film, you would have gathered that the film is going to be awkward.

My first thought was: "I have seen more of Tim Heidecker than I'd ever anticipated/planned on/wanted to/expected to in mah LIFE."

Second thought was: "Why can't Eric do more of this?"
I kept looking in the background to see if he had followed suit. Alas, he had not.

The film was discribed as "Disturbing". I can agree with that statement. A bunch over the hill white males running around acting like 7yrs olds. This is not art. Maybe to a psychologist, but not to any normal person. Why it's called "The Comedy" is beyond me. There's nothing truly funny in the trailer. If they are saying the film is a JOKE, then I would agree. You can see this kind of behavior at any bar just before closing time.