Parents need to beat their kids

I think the mindset that beating/spanking kids is the be-all solution to problems is really misguided. I hear often that if kids were just spanked more they would not be like they are right now, which is very naive and ignorant.

Spanking does not equal discipline like some think (it can be used as one small part of discipline, and studies on its overall effectiveness compared to other methods show that there are even better ways parents can get longer lasting results if they are willing to put in the effort and study), and one of the problems WITH kids today is that many think just because they spank that they are disciplining. Studies still show most kids ARE spanked, and it is even showing that a majority of parents who claim they won't or have not spanked, in fact, have/do. Most of the people in prisons were raised on spanking. Almost all of the kids in the high schools I work with talk liberally about being spanked, using phrases like "my mom will whip me" or "my dad used to beat my butt so hard."

Spanking isn't the miracle solution. Discipline is.

I was not spanked once in my life, but you bet I had a nice, healthy fear of upsetting my parents, never for fear they would physically hurt me, but that I would not have access to anything I enjoy, won't get to do anything I enjoy, would have nice long talks, extra chores, etc. Both my brother and I never got into trouble (same for our friends). But, my parents were also deeply involved and active, positively encouraged desired behaviors, fed into interests and activities that distracted or was incompatible with negative behavior, etc.

Consistent discipline (rules clearly stated, behavior positively reinforced, CONSISTENT consequences, parents on the same page, expectations stated, healthy relationships nurtured, parents who model the appropriate behavior to begin with, hobbies and interests instilled and encouraged, etc) is what these kids needed a LONG time ago. Sadly, odds are most of those kids were spanked and even slapped, but they were not disciplined, and obviously not consistently.

If it is one thing I have learned as a behavioral therapist with autistic individuals is that if you follow a behavior with a consistent undesired consequence, that behavior decreases, but if you leave room for it to only sometimes be followed with a negative reaction, the kids will take those odds and run wild with them.

Invisible Children: Uganda
To Write Love on Her Arms

Yup, a good spanking is what unruly kids need these days. Kids have too many rights now, more than their parents have.

Better idea -- lead by example. Don't think that cause you're the PARENT, that's it. You gotta set an example. Be someone you want them to be.