You Know What Else Offends Me?
Please help me. I need people willing to boycott other movies that have personally offended me. I'm looking for anyone who's willing to become emotionally involved quickly and looking for moderate to large amounts of attention grabbing. Here are the current protests:
Old School: My grandfather had a heart attack after being assaulted by two naked women and they made a comedy out of it starring Will Farrell. How can anyone like this movie?
Finding Nemo: I had to flush a fish down my toilet when I was five and this horrible Pixar comedy brought back so many bad memories that I have had to start up a prescription for sleeping aids in order to doze off without having nightmares.
Juno: I recently got my girlfriend pregnant after the condom broke and now she's demanding money I don't have to support the kid. I can't work more than 60 hours a week or my doctor says I might collapse. I just Netflixed this Oscar-nominated comedy and was horrified that a movie would make light of teenage pregnancy; this is disgusting.
30 Minutes or Less: I went to the theater to see this new comedy that people had continually been bitching about, saying it was making fun of a real-life tragedy. I watched it and was disgusted that it not only neglected to make fun of any such real life event but it actually had a number of serious scenes and not a single joke about Jesse Eisenberg's character's tragic situation. I was promised an inflammatory comedy and what I got instead was 83 minutes of laughter. I want my money back.