Anyone else relate to Mary?

I always liked that mostly all the characters showed a negative side, the problem is that the series never explored the causes of those traits, for that reason in the end the character of Sybil was boring for me, she was too perfect.

I think that the problem with Mary and Edith, each with their own faults is the system wich they lived; girls like them basically "competed" betwem them in order to have a good marriage, because that was their "job"; Mary pointed out that she was basically in a golden cage without any other prospect that marry properly. Having said, a woman of the aristocracy in those times should had beauty, charm and be accomplished in the "small talk", its ovbious from the start that Mary had all those advantages and Edith none. Even Cora recognized that, but instead of helping Edith she choose to keep "working" Mary up, as if Edith is a lost case (both parents saw it in that way). So in that context i totally understand why Mary behaved in that way towards anybody, she was basically saving her own neck, and even she loved Sybil, in the moment that Sybil and Matthew had little flirt (when he saved from the political rally) she inmediatily jump and didnt allow Matthew get away, so to Mary, any woman of the aristocracy, even her sisters is a competitor.

Then after the war, all of that changed dramatically, suddenly women found a country where they had posibilities besides a proper marriage and children. And Edith by being jilted and working in the war abandonded the world in wich was raised, and started to write in the magazine and everything; and when Sybil died, she asked Mary to have a better relation, because Mary had won in everything (she was married with the future heir and anything that she wanted). Even after Matthew´s death, Mary stayed in the old world (in attitude), she behaved in the same way that season 1, because as i saw, she was always sheltered by everyone and she never got out to the world, and never called off. Missfortune and her own bad choices made that Edith became more resilient to problems, she whined a lot, granted, but at least they were big problems in comparison to Mary´s who where basically: wich of my suitors i pick?.

And in their relation in particular i think that Mary knows that she is prettier than Edith, and by having a more sharp tonge she can easily put her in the "correct place" (down to her always), its very telling when after she sabotaged Edith and Bertie she asked to Violet if she can get a duke to "put Edith in her place"; because even in that moment she couldnt believe that a marquess would pick someone like Edith instead of her, who in her eyes is clearly more ugly than her. Well, in that last episode i think that she understood that in the end they were sisters and she shouldnt be "competing" against her only sister; but after being yelled by Tom basically.

I think that the relation betwen was because Cora´s stupidy, she never called any of them seriously, she saw a lot of times when they started to fight and in the last series when Mary was cruel to Edith and she didnt said anything, even Violet said something to Mary. Even more, in Cora´s eyes, Edith was incapable of nothing, she never valued that her other daughter was managing a magazine, managed to get pregnat and have a child under her nose, etc. With that she not only damaged Edith self confidance but also elevated Mary´s arrogance in certain aspects.

Watching the seasons again, I saw that first shot of Robert walking downstairs to breakfast and realized that this was the high point of his life--from now on, that perfect world of his will always be slipping through his fingers.

And in some ways it's the same with Mary. Like her father, the world should have stood still in 1912. But it didn't, and as well as she copes and adopts, she seems to be wishing that she could always live in the world she thought she'd be living in.

Don't we all?

I didn't relate to Mary, but I loved her character...she was always good for a giggle, IMO. Sybil was my favorite sister...Edith, my least favorite.

As an eldest daughter and sister I do relate to Mary in some ways, but I don't in others. I would never have been allowed to treat my next youngest sister the way Mary treated Edith, and my next younger sister would not have been permitted to sabotage me as Edith did to Mary.
Like Mary, I was bossy, and let's face it, still am. In my case, I was my mother's deputy, expected to keep the younger siblings in line, and it was my neck if they got into trouble. My next youngest sister and I were the children of our mother's first marriage,but our mother married again and began having children by our stepfather, putting my sister in the position as the first of the middle children (she would be followed by a brother-as the only male another privileged position-and three more sisters), and since our mother always saw me as her other self, she placed the responsibility of not only the siblings, but the major part of her hopes and dreams on me: my grades,manners, etc. had to be perfect, a symbol of my mother's expectations of me as role model to the younger sisters. Of course my sister rebelled, her means of directing attention on her, as was natural. I did my best to keep her out of trouble, with little success. We have had a lifelong mostly unspoken rivalry. It is ironic that in our latter years we have, due to my recent widowhood (my husband was also an eldest) and her loss of her apartment, ended up under the same roof. The expectations of the parents usually are placed on the eldest daughter. In Mary's case, that responsibility was to marry well, to save the family, which would have been impoverished by the entail. The family with only daughters would have lost the estate if Mary and Matthew hadn't fallen in love, married, and produced a son who would inherit the estate eventually which in the meantime would be overseen by Mary. The parents' consideration of her above the other two was understandable. With the economic failure of the estate and the loss of Cora's money that had been plowed into it, and which before Matthew's arrival was a distinct possibility, the family would have been much reduced in circumstances if Lord Grantham had died. Mary's marrying rich was their only hope of that not happening. All of the girls probably had money settled on them, and perhaps Cora had a jointure, but circumstances would still have been much reduced.So, Mary was pampered and cossetted, given the best that could be afforded to attract that favorable marriage. It is natural that she should be so self-involved, and being the eldest, usually the child of young love, does in most instances breed a sense of superiority in that eldest.
In my case,the responsibility was to be a role model, to rescue the younger ones from their consequences, to be there for our parents in old age, to be at their deathbeds as well as to be there for the two baby sisters who died, one in her teens and one in her thirties. I am the repository of family memory, and sorrows, and sometimes that feels so heavy, but I wouldn't be me if I let them recede into the past. There are things that unite my sister and me in old age. We both loved the younger ones unconditionally, just as Mary and Edith are united at least in love and sorrow over Sybil, and as Edith says when Mary asks her why she has come to her wedding to Henry after she has (as thought at that time) sabotaged Edith's chance at a first wedding, that in time they will be the only ones who will remember their parents, their sister, the servants, and even the house, that they are in the end, sisters. I really related to that.
It is ironic, that in the end Mary, freed by her first marriage and the child that issued from it, from needing to marry well, marries down, while Edith, the neglected middle child who was never under that kind of obligation, marries up.

I could be a morning person if morning happened at noon.

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No, I think I can relate more to Edith.