MovieChat Forums > Take This Waltz (2012) Discussion > a note to filmmaker and all of Hollywood

a note to filmmaker and all of Hollywood

posted 12 years ago by milesaugust
37 replies | jump to latest

Can Hollywood, and all independent productions put a moratorium on the obligatory bathroom scene in what seems like all relationship movies? Apparently, writers think that you must include a scene where one partner is on the toilet and the other is brushing their teeth at the same time, as if one of the two couldn't wait another minute. It's almost as much of a lazy cliche as every character that lives in NY working in advertising, with a subplot about the 'big account'. I have been in two long tern relationships, and when living together, bathroom time is always private time. There are many people that feel like I do, so please, hollywood, stop the stupidity.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] TracesOfLove 12 years ago

Actually that's not true for everybody. Even in this film you could see the contrast between the two men in film. One had no problem with it and the other was obviously uncomfortable.

...even in a valley without mountains the wind could still blow.

[–] munroe-9 12 years ago

Right - exactly; I thought it was a moment where she realized what she had lost.

[–] zorro674 12 years ago

I agree.

[–] zooymtoo 12 years ago

Ha...I concur..I've been in several long term, the current 8 years and I've never gotten this relaxed. It's usually considered private time..It always makes me wonder when they show this if other people do this and we're weird or something. I suppose seeing it so often onscreen can indeed influence younger viewers to believe this is the norm and relax their own standards.

Secondly, I've never been involved in any women's group where so many women of all ages, shapes and sizes felt all that comfortable doing the whole communal showering together thing. I have found most women prefer privacy..and privacy is typically offered everywhere I've been.

But I do like the movie and feel this unrealistic instances were exercises in getting a point across.

[–] wyliec 12 years ago

Nope - this is real. I know people who don't think twice about it and others (including me) that wouldn't dream of it....

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] !!!deleted!!! (36957384) 12 years ago

Don't be silly, of course people do that. It would probably be better if they didn't. You can certainly become too familiar.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] !!!deleted!!! (36957384) 12 years ago

Well, maybe your circle of friends and family urinate and defecate freely without a shred of shame and decency. As far as I'm concerned, I don't know anyone who would do something that is a complete disregard for proper etiquette.

Yes, when I have friends or family over we all go to the bathroom together, men and women. That way no one misses anything that is said while they're gone. It works swell. I also have The Love Toilet for me and my honey.

I'll have to see what Emily Post had to say about urination and defecation etiquette.

[–] TracesOfLove 12 years ago

"I'll have to see what Emily Post had to say about urination and defecation etiquette."

I think urination is more popular than defecation. It depends on what the guys into. Some guys just get a kick out of seeing a girl peeing. Like the intimacy of it all. Not just in a sexual way. Some people might go further or not at all. It just depends.

...even in a valley without mountains the wind could still blow.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] !!!deleted!!! (36957384) 12 years ago

Wow, you really don't have a sense of humor at all, do you?

You sound like a pompous windbag with your lectures on toilet etiquette and your spelling lesson as your sig.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] TracesOfLove 12 years ago

"I'd put down money that Emily Post's verdict would be that it's rude, disgusting and inappropriate to choose to relieve one's bladder and/or bowels while in the presence of company.

I'm interested to know where all these barns are located where so many people seem to have been raised."

I know peeing in front of your partner is so gross what's next putting your husband's penis in your mouth while he ejaculates into it? Or holding your wife's hair back when she has to throw up? Gross! Ew how about having sex while menstruating? Oooh how about watching your wife give birth? Unbelievable! Unheard of! Unthinkable!

...even in a valley without mountains the wind could still blow.

[–] !!!deleted!!! (36957384) 12 years ago

I think "moistsnackcake" is a euphemism.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] 12 years ago

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[–] Violet_Loves_Iliona 12 years ago

Straw man argument, which you've indulged in a few times in this thread - number ones would be acceptable to many (perhaps most) chilled-out people, but number twos are taking things a bit far. ;)

*´¨)
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(¸.·´ (¸.·´

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] milesaugust 12 years ago

Wow. I'm glad to see I'm not alone in my original comment. Just to chime back in, my point was I'm sick of it being such an obligatory scene in such movies. As far as the realism goes, there are many couple that are like that. I choose not to be one. I'm for the privacy, my girl doesn't care. I have to lay down the rule about one at a time. I'm also a little nuts, and while brushing my own teeth I can tolerate the noise, but listening to some else is nauseating, and that's another unnecessary obligatory scene in movies, just the teeth brushing to pad a few running time seconds here or there. or the teeth brushing and having a conversation with another character in another or the same room.. Seriously, go take care of your BR business and come out when your done.

[–] samblanch 12 years ago

I think the line is drawn differently for each couple. In my relationship, peeing is safe territory and we have no issues about it, but the line ends there. No number. 2, all hope is lost at that point. Not being afraid to pee, or pass gas etc in front of a longterm partner can be a sign of a healthy, comfortable relationship. But I know just as many couples that wouldnt dream of that. There's really no right or wrong.

And yes, it is a cinematic cliche. In many cases though, a true one.

[–] Violet_Loves_Iliona 12 years ago

In terms of your attitudes to intimacy between lovers, it strikes me as incredibly restrictive and repressed, but you know what? Live and let live I say, so if you're happy being like that and your partner isn't offended by your disgust of him/her, then I'm not going to tell you to act differently in any way.

What I dispute in your post is that I don't see why you deem the scene as any more "obligatory" a scene than any other scene of domestic intimacy.

Take care :)

Violet

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[–] milesaugust 12 years ago

I understand what you are saying, but here is where my obligatory comment came from. While it's always something in movies that kind of irked me personally, it was while watching Prime, with Uma Thurman that it hit me. The young guy at the beginning talks with is buddies about how he hopes to find the perfect relationship one day, like when you "pee with the door open" or something similar, and it made me think that Hollywood writers all think that the definition of a good relationship, is bathroom openness, and after watching Take This Waltz, and the umpteenth scene of that style, I just had to see if anyone else was feeling the same way. Although Sarah Polley may have just been playing off that cliche, with the two different attitudes of the men involved being the main point.
I was only writing about that particular topic, but there are many other "obligatory" scenes in movies I could do without, that's just the only one I decided to write a post about.

Cheers

[–] Dcamplisson 10 years ago

The key is the simply pass a bucket around, then no one needs to leave.
While we're at being disgusted what about cookie sucking on his digits while cooking. Everyone at his party then gets free saliva wth ther food.

[–] TxMike 12 years ago

While your "question" is a valid one, after reading all the comments I must make a comment of my own.

It works both ways, everyone. There are couples that, for their own reasons, have no issue with doing toilet functions in the presense of each other. There are other couples, for their own reasons who avoid that. Both ways, when depicted in film, are reasonable.

Polley decided that she wanted them to have the characteristics that she wrote and filmed. There is noting inherently wrong with that. Get over the idea that there is only one way for couple to behave.

You may not like it, that is your right, but to say it is unrealistic is just plain wrong.

TxMike
Make a choice, to take a chance, to make a difference.

[–] spasticfreakshow 12 years ago

at the end of the day, i believe the verdict is that the OP is getting upset that there's 'too much' of something that's fairly common IRL. like people who get all excited about a gay couple in a movie, and how it's all gay GAY GAY now in film. in fact, it does appear that enough couples are OK with peeing in front of each other that it makes sense you see it from time to time on screen. so no, NOT EXAGGERATED, NOT TAKING OVER HOLLYWOOD.

[–] dophin26 12 years ago

This is kind of funny. My wife and I were just mentioning this as we watched the film today. While we are comfortable with each other, we both feel there are some things you do on your own and that is one of them. To each his own I guess.

[–] mhzana 12 years ago

Are you kidding!!!!Is that all you have to say?...
I'm sure your notion of 'private time' is of paramount concern for hollywood.
You are a goose.

[–] ARH 12 years ago

I agree. It's such a lazy storytelling device an frankly I expected better from Polley.