Why do you put "cheating" in quotation marks?
I agree that the double-standard thing is dubious from the get-go (I'm not all that convinced by the proposition that male cheaters are almost universally seen as negative in films, mostly because I could start naming one instance after another where that's not true).
If people are reading this as some kind of "she cheated, and it was just fine" kind of film, boy, are they ever missing the point. I agree completely that she suffers a lot. So does Lou. So does the "other man." So do the friends. So does her sort-of-ex niece. And on and on. The film is an examination of how easy it is to slide into cheating, one toe at a time, just getting a little intrigued and then finding yourself blowing up the place, and yourself with it. It's real pain. IMHO, it was excruciating to watch, and incredibly valuable, also. But if you're saying that people are missing the point by seeing this as an individualized issue of what Margot did or didn't do, or whether it was a lark for her or it wasn't, yeah, I think that's right. It's an examination of the state of adultery. It even leads to questions about marriage itself -- like, do you really mean it when you say "forsaking all others"? Forever? Until you die? Most people, I think, don't even think about that very deeply. You forego all kinds of other paths, roads not taken. In a way, it's an acknowledgement of your own limitedness and your own mortality. And then, if you don't want to create mass pain in ways you haven't even thought of, you have to stick to it. One and only one, until you pass from this world into whatever comes next, or nothing. Makes you take a big breath even to think about it. That, to me, is exactly what the film is trying to do.
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