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What depression feels like - the meaninglessness of existence

posted 11 years ago by JeopardyLeyton
45 replies | jump to latest

I just finished this and it is incredible!

To me, it first depicted depression really well- how difficult it is for those without it to understand. 'Just BE happy' etc etc. Even when she tries to act the part and smile, they know she's lying and that infuriates her family even more - it's not enough to act happy, she has to be happy. Everyone else thinks it's easy to get into a bath, but it is overwhelmingly difficult and pointless - when will you ever stop bathing, why do people bathe, to be clean, but why be clean when there is no point to life?

The end of the world - complete annihilation of all life, justifies the depressive in the face of all this criticism and the failure she feels she is to her family - this is why Justine begins to come around as the planet moves closer - it affirms that her inertia and hopelessness were warranted.

When you're deep dark inside depression, something as catastrophic as the collision with another planet can feel like it would be the only thing to really show people how meaningless existence is for you. There is no enjoyment, no love, no pleasant tastes (the meatloaf becomes ashes).

The depressive is completely consumed in this viewpoint, without the neurological capacity to experience anything else - this is why Justine thinks she 'knows things' and that she sees how alone everyone is and how pointless everything is when nobody else can, now confirmed by the impending destruction of Earth.

Towards the end though, Justine does grasp something about life - she takes the child and begins building the 'magic cave' with him - they give themselves something to do to occupy their last couple of hours. To take their mind away from what is happening, they create purpose, and that is what we are all doing throughout life, through imbuing our acts and gestures, feelings and circumstances with meaning. All our lives consist of building a 'magic cave' to keep out the pointlessness of existence - we structure meaning from whatever we stumble across along the way, or we strive to find meaning for building our cave, and we sit inside it until the end comes.

[–] jamieparsons1 9 years ago

I've had clinical depression for the last 12 years and Justine is a complete bitch. Depression doesn't cause you to act like that to your loved ones. That's you. That's you and your weakness to not help yourself and blame everything on those trying their hardest to help you.

Depression doesn't cause you to *beep* some random stranger on your wedding night either.

[–] ForeverLate 8 years ago

She's not a bitch. Her family was crazy..her boss was crazy. Her boss put pressure on her during her wedding day, her mother ruined her wedding with her complaints and harsh words about marriage, her dad was an old skeezer, her sister didn't understand her and forced her into a terrible wedding party and pushed Justine to do things she didn't want to do or to be someone she didn't want to be.

Her husband seemed to have no real understanding of Justine. He seemed like a nice sweet guy but was in La la land...either refusing to understand how severe her symptoms were, or he was blinded to them and saw them as cute quirks because he loved her so much and thought she was beautiful.

No one understood her fully, no one was there for her, she probably spent her childhood dealing with her mothers coldness and lack of feelings and love. Her father was useless, her sister seemed like she had been forced into being the same, normal one and seemed like she took on a caretaker role within the family, which means shed often have to come across as stern at times. Justine was different and on her own.

After hearing her mothers rants all night it's no surprise that Justine SELF sabotaged. She probably felt she didn't deserve her sweet husband, felt like she wasn't good enough for him. So she sabotaged herself.

[–] jamieparsons1 8 years ago

No, they are all just excuses. If she didn't want the damn wedding then just say so. She continually said that's what she bloody wanted, didn't she?

She was a bitch, stop making excuses for a character that was a terrible person. Her sister was there for her the whole damn time. By the end of the movie she was basically a full time carer. Yeah, not there for her, sure. But Justine still treats her like *beep*

Oh right, I'm not good enough for my husband, so I'll just go *beep* some random guy out in the fields. Makes perfect sense.

None of what you say actually has basis in the film, hence all the 'she probably felt' this and that.

She was a bitch. There's no excuses for it. Depression or not, you don't have to act like that. Depression, or being 'misunderstood' doesn't make you act like that.

[–] ForeverLate 8 years ago

I respectfully disagree.

How do we knownthatsnwhat Justine said she wanted at first? Her sister was wealthy and pushy and headstrong. How do we know her sister didn't just assume Justine wanted that? After all, her sister said she THOUGHT that's what Justine wanted. Perhaps she just assumed since they were wealthy and owned a golf course it'd be the perfect place for a wedding.

Justine, being the outcast of the family, could have simply went along with it to keep the peace and to make her family happy.

Her sister was there for her in ways, but not fully there. Her sister never really seemed to try to understand her. Just kept telling her to be happy. Wanting Justine to fit into her perfect life and to match her fairy tale life. No one truly understand Justine or her illness.

I relate to Justine, I think you wknt fully get it unless you've been in similar experiences.

Also, I believe Justine seemed more bipolar with depression being what she cycled into more often. Also mania, as we see her acting very reckless and impulsive.

She was mentally ill, no matter what you call it, she had mental health issues that weren't acknowledged or addressed. I work in the mental health field so people ignoring these signs and pretending like their loved ones are fine are usual reactions to mental health, there is a huge stigma surrounding mental health.

And yes, depression makes you feel like a stranger to your own self and depression can make you do very odd things. Again, unless you've experienced it, it's hard to understand.

[–] Joeyjag_97 9 years ago

Excellent post, you nailed it. 

“If one devalues rationality, the world tends to fall apart.”

[–] JeopardyLeyton 9 years ago

Aww, thanks. I wrote this so long ago and keep getting the occasional comment on it! Need to watch this film again soon.

[–] trixietrx 8 years ago

I just watched again tonight, because it resonates for all the reasons in this thread. Thank you. Has anyone ever felt, well, like I want to die (did, I'm on meds now and just mild depression w/some flares), and the odd feelings that if I slit my wrists or shot myself in the head, the black stuff inside would come out and I could be normal again? Not suicidal particularly, but just that I wouldn't want to wake up, or that the things I thought of while laying in bed were actually suicidal, but that's not why I wanted to do them? I wanted the disease to leave my body.

People who've not suffered it can't understand, and I have a husband who thinks I should be over all this by now, so our marriage has deteriorated, or I've managed to do what Justine does and sabotage myself into being alone.

Thanks for this, it's like a great support group <3

[–] ForeverLate 8 years ago

I thought this film portrayed depression very well. As someone who has struggled with depression, I related to Justine well. For me, depression feels like being trapped in a hole...when I sink into depression I feel like somehow I've been sucked back into a hole or tunnel...I can see the light shining all the way at the end, but I'm so far back and in so deep that I feel tired and helpless and hopeless to reach that light,

Nothing matters, everything seems so superficial..I care about nothing. At times I find myself doing random shocking things just to make myself feel something, because I often feel numb and feel nothing.

I don't want to be like this, but depression sneaks up on me. Most of the time I can function well and go about life, but sometimes major bouts strike me and I can't even function ..can't work or anything. Just sit around and cry.

I know people think that people who suffer from depression are faking it or being lazy ,but the truth is we are not.

This is a real thing many struggle with, I wouldn't wish this numb, dark, black feeling on my worst enemy.