500 Things I Learned from Faster
1) God can't save you from The Rock.
Kansas Critic, My Video & Written Reviews:
http://www.vaughnonmovies.com
2)The Rock is a pro at driving backwards in traffic
3)It takes a person ten years to create a list of locations of the people that were responsible for your brother's death
4)The Rock will go into the hospital room of the person that killed his brother even though he already put him in critical condition due to multiple stab wounds. Then he will shoot you multiple times, in order to complete the job he already started.
5)Cops are always about 2 weeks from retirement
6)Whenever The Rock enters a building, if you were involved in his brother's murder then the first thing that pops into your mind is that he's there for revenge.
7)Billy Bob Thornton's son can't play baseball
8)If you see a certain tatoo on The Rock's forearm then you know not to mess with him.
9)Samoan bodyguards like to build their grip
10)Old men like to make snuff films
11)After stabbing someone multiple times, that person will hand you their phone and tell you to call their son to tell them that they're sorry.
12)The Rock looks nothing like his brother
13)If you come home looking to kill your father, you'll find out that he's already dead.
14)People will kill someone for $1.
15)The Rock likes walking into traffic despite oncoming cars.
16)While driving across country avenging your brother's death, if you turn on the radio, the preacher will be talking about forgiveness.
17)It is good to volunteer to be the driver for a bank robbery after somebody else backs out.
18)The Rock will pull a gun on you while you're sleeping.
19) The price went up.
20) The price just went down.
Kansas Critic, My Video & Written Reviews:
http://www.vaughnonmovies.com
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24) The Rock likes to drive fast everywhere.
25) As soon as you are released from prison, jog all the way to the body shop that has the car that was specifically reserved for you.
26) Before you kill a person that was involved in your brother's death, always look at the picture that you and your brother took when you went fishing together.
27) If you kill someone's brother, ten years later you'll end up working as a bouncer at a Gentleman's Club.
28) Watching the bartender chop ice with an ice pick will give you an idea to make an ice pick your next weapon of choice.
29) The Rock is pretty handy with an ice pick.
30) If your wife and child comes up to you and your wife asks you if everything is okay, tell her that you're talking to an "old acquaintence."
31) The Rock will not kill you if you get down on your knees and start praying and singing old spirituals.
32)Apparently the phone number to multi-millionaire entrepreneur hitmen is common knowledge and on every junkie cop's speed dial.
share33) You can go on a five-day killing spree and drive the exact same car the whole time...
34) It's cool to murder a guy and then keep his phone in your car, turned on, just in case the victim's son wants to call you back.
35) Characters in movies don't need names. Sometimes, "Killer," "Driver," and "Cop" will do.
36) It is possible to earn enough money in jail to purchase a Chevelle and have it ready for you in a junk yard upon being released.
37) If you stare at an old photo of your brother with his old girlfriend, it is safe to assume she was a no good for nothing snitch.
38) You can get shot in the head and drive off into the sunset if you have a metal plate in your head. No medical attention for the bullet size hole needed.
39) Hospital basements are very creepy.
40) Your wife will always take you back if you get on your knees and give her Heroin.
41) If you get shot in the neck, your mother can stitch it up.
42) Old men make great bathroom attendants.
43) If your the lead talker of a gang of criminals, you can always try your hand at telemarketing down the road.
44) Maggie Grace is insanely hot with blonde hair and a wedding dress.
45. If you plan on doing crime it is good to have a "crooked" cop as your leader.
46. If you shoot someone in the back of the head the 1st time and they don't die, try it again in the same spot the 2nd time. You may just kill them this time.
47. Reading a magazine article on how to save your relationship is a great way to pass time while pulling security duty at the Hospital.
48. The Rock was better off making Disney movies.
49. A dork, an old fart and two thugs are the best crew you can have around for "illegal jobs".
50. It's okay to add a character that adds nothing to the story (in this case "the killer") just so that the movie can have a longer running time.
Wait what, I got caught up at Maggie Grace is really hot
51. A woman who helps you kill people will suddenly object to the whole thing once you marry her
52. In most corporate centers you can walk in with a gun in your hand and shoot a guy and there will be no security or police around
53. An hour later when the police do get there they will stand around the water cooler with coffee
54. A guy who was just a good driver can leave prison after 10 years as an expert at shooting a gun.
55. A guy who sees all the people's faces tells them where the money is hidden because he really thinks they aren't going to shoot him and his bro if he tells.
56. After 10 years in prison, sex is the last thing on your mind.
57. Old men do snuff films in their apartments even though there are dozens of tenants at home within hearing range.
58. Ex cons like cool old cars instead of new ones.
60. Have a kid threaten to get revenge for their father's death and have the hero not kill a key person in his brother's death to set up a sequel.
61. When you want to assassinate a bunch of dangerous killers, get a 6 shooter.
62) When in doubt, just believe the step-father set you up and head home to kill him.
63) If you want to become an effective, lethal, butt-kicking killing machine, just go to prison for a decade or so... Free training.
64) If you want to make a 38 year-old look 20, just throw a stocking cap on him...
65) During a five-day killing spree, you don't need any food.
66) Billy Bob sucks at baseball too.
67) Carla Gugino served no purpose in this film.
68) When robbing a bank always drive something inconspicuous like a vintage gold Pontiac GTO.
http://speedomanadventures.blogspot.com/
69) Snitches get stitches, except for bitches :p
70) Apparantly, God can save you from The Rock
71) This ain't no place for a Hero.
72) Strip club Bathroom fights are short and uneventful
73) If you are getting revenge for your brother, you do not have to hide
you can shoot someone strait in head in a office building and all people will do is stare.
cops just magically know where the crime scenes are with out anyone calling.
you can leave your car out in font of your motel room and know one will be wiser
you can have lots of cars and guns and still charge $1 to kill someone.
#78 - You can have a character named "Killer" and never see him kill anyone.
#79 - Any person born with leg braces may potentially grow up to be a professional killer.
#80 - You can beat yoga.
#81 - Being a heroin addicted cop is an idiosyncrasy and not an actual plot device.
#82 - Billy Bob Thornton and Moon Bloodgood produce ugly children.
#83 - Moon Bloodgood is completely pointless in the movie.
#84 - If you are an old man who likes to rape girls on video and you get called by a crooked cop to go kill two brothers and steal money and you decide to bring your trusty video camera to film it all and you laugh and smile during the whole process --- ten years later when the one brother comes to kill you you can plead ignorance.
#85 - Telemarketers are sadistic murderers.
#86 - Carla Gugino is a terrible police officer who has no point being in the movie.
#87 - Sometimes Carla Gugino wears her hair up to make it look like she's a dude for *beep* and giggles.
#88 - The Rock smuggled thousands of dollars out of prison in his butt.
#89 - Mike Epps is perfectly cool accepting all American currency that was previously in your butt.
#90 - The Rock isn't Samoan. (He is, but they make a point to say the other guy is Samoan and the Rock doesn't respond that he's Samoan or anything and it looked like his brother was straight white.)
#91 - Thank god for professional hitmen who only charge a dollar because Billy Bob paid for his drugs with actual pocket change.
#92 - If you title a movie "Faster" then you never have to do anything in the movie to warrant the title.
#93 - Cops do absolutely no leg work and do not interview a killer on the loose's loved ones. (they never check Jennifer Carpenter if she's seen the Rock?)
#94 - If Tom Berenger wasn't watching the local news then no one would have ever known the Rock's identity.
#95 - I guess all the extra bullets and reloaders were in the Rock's leather jacket.
#96 - Shooting heroin into your feet gives you track marks on your wrist.
#97 - Some people drive separate Ferraris to their wedding with no one else invited and then celebrate by shooting guns at bottles and cans.
#98 - Being a professional killer is all about celebrating life.
LOL at #84
#99 - You can't escape the Rock's wrath, unless you're Mr. Echo from Lost.
#100 - The expectations of a veteran cop are extremely low: It's enough to just make contact with a murderer and miss the opportunity to catch him, to be treated like a national hero.
#101 - When you're a multimillionaire - extremely successful at everything you do - egocentric killer, you will have a very thin photo album with a couple of pictures of you at 5-7 years old, a couple of pictures of you achieving "greatness" and a picture of you wearing a F1 driving helmet.
#102 - If you want to avenge your brother's murder, it's preferable to do it before you go to jail for 10 years. 10 years later some of the bad guys might not be as evil as they used to be and the revenge won't taste so sweet. Who said revenge is better served cold?!
"I'm gona put that blind man on a wheel chair!"
#103 - Never trust an ex-junkie with your stash ... she might end up using most of it herself!
#104 - Editors of "Faster" did not notice in months what I noticed in a split second - Maggie Grace's privates. Right there.
#105 - Tattoo's of you "keeping count" demands respect from anyone.
I would like information on these privates you speak of.
shareIt is possible to earn enough money in jail to purchase a Chevelle and have it ready for you in a junk yard upon being released
Watch the movie again.
Utah! Get me two. share
32)Apparently the phone number to multi-millionaire entrepreneur hitmen is common knowledge and on every junkie cop's speed dial.
You, Sir, win the thread.
_____
Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you find the real tinsel underneath. share
HAHAHA. These are the two best ones...There should have been no other replies after this.
share18) not just any person. Pull a gun on your sleeping mother.
share