They are not even remotely worth it. Yes, I'm speaking from experience.
shareWhat was your experience ?
shareIt's not that interesting, a friend told me he never liked me, and blocked me on Facebook. I didn't keep harassing him, but I kept thinking about it for a while, and if he didn't block me, I'm sure I would've kept messaging him for a while.
shareWell, ok but clearly you did like him. And you probably thought that he liked you too.
Didn't you ever feel like "what the fuck is wrong with this asshole?" and expected an explanation from him? Or maybe you were not such great friends.
In the movie Colm is a humongous asshole, but at least he gives some reason about his new stance (although he later takes it to unacceptable extremes).
I would not harrass anybody, but fuck it, I think I am owed an explanation and possibly some apologizing too, if this shit comes from my best friend.
My friend did give me an explanation, very similar to Colm's reasons actually.
There isn't really a logical way to argue that my friend or Colm did anything wrong though. Nobody can like everyone, and nobody should force themself to be friends with someone they don't like.
There is a really logical way to argue that your friend, or Colm did something wrong. If your friend never really liked you, why did he associate with you, and pretend to be your friend for as long as he did? If he never liked you, he should have avoided ever getting close enough to you to cause you to think him a real friend. We all maintain acquaintances, whether professional or personal, who don't become friends. We only cultivate genuine friendships with those who reciprocate our interest in them, with interest in us. If he never had that interest, but still cultivated a friendship, then he wasn't being honest with you; he was being deceptive. Not an admirable quality.
Why would anyone do that? Unless he is lying to you now about his reasons for breaking off contact, and there's some other reason he's not willing to tell you, I cannot help but think the likely reason is he wanted something from you, and when he came to believe he wouldn't get it, he had no more time for you. Perhaps there is some other reason, but off the top of my head, I can't think of any.
In any case, I would agree that when people show you a previously unsuspected deceptiveness or cruelty, it's best to let them step right out of your life. You're better off without faithless, dishonest people around you.
I guess you have a point, I guess my friend did do something wrong. Although he said he did briefly like me at the start of the friendship, and ending a friendship is probably a lot easier said than done. He probably didn't want to hurt my feelings, but then eventually decided he had no choice. I can't think of anything he'd want from me, and I can't think of a reason to lie about it.
Colm didn't do anything wrong. He liked Padraic for a while, and ended the friendship as soon as he stopped liking him.
I don't think you really like someone, and then just stop liking them. At least, I never have. I am not as close to some of the people I used to be close friends with, but I never just stopped liking them. I may not like spending time with them as much as I used to, as we've grown older and our interests have changed, but I have never come even remotely close to just ending all affection for them -- and I say this as a man who is possibly the most asocial individual that most people will ever meet.
For me, and I suspect most people as well, if two people are compatible personalities, they'll get along; if they're not, they'll get under each others' skin pretty early on, and they'll never become close.
For myself, I have a hard time understanding what would make anyone suddenly block someone on social media, and then baldly admit "I never liked you." If you find you don't enjoy someone's company that much anymore, just stop calling them, emailing them, texting them, going round to see them -- all the things people do to cultivate and maintain friendships. When they reach out to you, be polite, but a little more distant. When they invite you out to things, decline most of the invitations. Then before you know it, you'll have drifted apart, and all without some jarring break that hurts anyone's feelings.
This is a remote island off the coast of Ireland in the 1920's I believe. There are few inhabitants, let alone suitable blokes his own age, and no smartphones, computers, TV or even radio. You've got a small handful of people to choose from aside from the farm animals and family. And you constantly run into them even if not friends anymore, so the situation is quite different from someone ghosting or unfriend you in today's world, although it still can be hurtful.
I think Colm with age over time became worried about his own legacy and that he had done nothing with his life and hence projected that onto Padraic, who represented and reminded him of his own insipid and banal existence. Breaking it off with him was a way of making himself feel better about his own wretched life. Since Padraic did nothing wrong and was somewhat of a simpleton with a good heart I can understand his hurt and confusion at being blindsided like that.
Our culture is based on lying in order to save face for everyone. But Colm had individualist dreams and ideas, so rightly said fuck that.
shareI've been, or am, on Gleeson's situation. This guy I knew from high school I have nothing in common with keeps contacting me.
But I can't be that upfront.
No need to be. Just keep responses short and generic, or don't respond at all. Eventually he'll get the message. Some people are thicker than others and require more time to suss it out, but sooner or later he'll get it.
shareI have found that the two Characters in Banshee are relatable to a lot of real life people
There are the Gleeson types who are discontent and have ambitions, maybe private ambitions that they feel they aren't meeting and they eventually take it out on people close to them, it's your fault i'm not doing more with my life ect
And you have the Farrell type who is just happy in their enviroment and doesn't have too many expectations and just live moment to moment,
I actually think the dynamic is similar to Pitt and Di Caprio in Hollywood, Farrell is more the Cliff Boothe type
Even though Farrell is the loser in this film i think i would rather be him than a Gleeson, the Gleeson types will never be happy
I had someone like this. She just didn't get it. I met her a few times and each time I'd end up telling her the same things about myself, which since she was self-centered, she didn't remember my quirks. I'm all quirks - lol. I had to bluntly tell her, and then do it again when she tried the same shit on a different platform. She's in my neighbourhood, so I told her see her around in gardening season, just to be civil. But I'll never sit and have tea with her. She is an acquaintance, and can never be anything more because - self-centered. Figuring out a way to be direct and yet minimize harshness is so worth it when you get what you want.
shareI've been betrayed without remorse so many times, I finally gave up trying to be friends with anyone. Now I truly enjoy not having to put up with people's crap or listen to them blather about their boring lives anymore.
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