1 - If you get a sms from someone you don't know asking to do something, don't hesitate, just do it
2 - No RadioShack in Prag, only Yuri
3 - Hackers from Moscow usually work part time as cab drivers in Prag
4 - All people in Czech Republic are either American or Russian
5 - If a girl , you just slept with, is fighting with a guy who is trying to kill you - don't help her!!!
6 - CIA office in Prag is inside an old warehouse
7 - Former CIA employee can go to Russia without causing suspicion
8 - Car chases in front of the Kremlin don't alert the police
9 - All security cameras are connected to internet
It's 'Prague' lol
shareactually it is PRAHA...but europeans call the city prague and spell it prag whereas american's, brits and other commonwealth countries call it prague
shareactually most Europeans don't call it Prague and don't spell it Prag
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Names_of_European_cities_in_different_languages:_M-P#P
Randal Graves: This job would be great if it wasn't for the *beep* customers.
6 - CIA office in Prag is inside an old warehouse
i read that as whorehouse :O
10 - It is illegal to read text messages in a Casino and you can be charged with 'fraud' for doing so.
--------------------------
Posting and You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9q2jNjOPdk
[deleted]
11. Russia has a technology that neither US nor China has.
12. Before seeing a superior military-officer in Russia, shaving is required.
13. A multi-million-dollar software will one day wake up and go AWOL by itself.
14. DHL do not disclose info on senders.
15. Text messages can kill.
16. FBI vehicles are loaded with M203 grenade launchers.
17. A CCTV in Russia can track down a US suspect better than surveillance cameras do in a US airport.
18. When a girl tells a guy that she will cook, she will likely do something more than that.
19. "Don't get caught" are the 3 most important words in politics.
20. Girl in a men's shirt looks beautiful.
21. A casino is comfortable to hire the head of security who has big mouth.
22. Echelon is not capable of cracking a password potection.
...
I'm rich and divorced
23. If you just won about 200 000 euro in a suspicious way, and then been warned by the casino security to not use a cell phone, the absolutely first thing you do is to try to fool them again by using a headset.
24. Make sure that the headset you use has a gigantic blue led flashing in your ear.
25. When the traffic light turns green, people floors the gas and don't stop even if somebody is in the road.
26. People who handle security for commercial companies know what kind of equipment the American, Chinese and Israeli Military Intelligence agencies don't have.
27. People hired by casino security are really dedicated, hardcore, kills like they never done anything else nad better at hand to hand combat than NSA agents, not to mention, possesses really nice asses.
28. If you have a grenade launcher, don't use it before you had a 5min unnecessary firefight.
29. Casino owners are big players in the international politics and security arena.
30. A super computer who wants something from you will not instantly show it's power and then threaten you to do something, but it will let you have some fun first.
"I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar."
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn
31. If you are playing on a slot machine, someone gives you 100€ to get out, and on the next bet the machine hits the jackpot your girlfriend will give you a slap.
32. When you kill 3 FBI agents, you are free to go if someone bails you out.
33. After you walk out, there are limos waiting there to pick you up.
34. If you help a casino, they will give you 3million euros to reward you.
35. If you steal an ending from a movie, make sure the intended audience is the same for both movies.
36. When you need the name for a surveilance system used by bad guys, use one from real life.
37. If you want to make people aware of the dangers involved with the increasing internet surveilance, make a mediocre movie about it so that everyone genuinely alarmed will seem like the guy that thinks Matrix is real.
37. If you want to make people aware of the dangers involved with the increasing internet surveilance, make a mediocre movie about it so that everyone genuinely alarmed will seem like the guy that thinks Matrix is real.
38. Electronic devices have supernatural ability to control the blackjack dealer's deck of cards.
38. Casino's have detailed life histories of random people just in case they happen to come into the casino.
39. How to make a political conspiracy movie with a storyline that mostly sounds like a schizophrenic delusion.
"Which lever do I pull to be crushed by a safe?"-Karen(Will & Grace)
38. High ranking Thai officials in charge of national archives don't know how electrical grids in secure government buildings re-power themselves and must resort to external consultants for answers.
39. When a plane with 126 passengers crashes while you should be onboard, thank your hotel manager for his innovative marketing techniques.
40. If an SMS from an unknown sender tells you to go to Prague after a consulting gig in Bangkok, you should just blindly go and not tell anyone. Especially if you're a secret player in the world of espionage.
41. People play harps in hotel lobbies in Prague.
42. Don't be suspicious in a casino when someone keeps upping their offer for your seat at a slot machine while all the other ones are free around you.
43. Leave the seat for 100€ and only get a slap for losing 10Ok€.
44. If Russian taxi drivers in Prague can install Bluetooth text-to-speech headsets and its associated software in 30s without a computer, trust them blindly instead of national security agencies.
45. Run away in panic from casinos when you don't cheat.
46. When you're working for the FBI, you won't figure out what job a prime suspect does for a living and you won't be able to make the connection with a Dept. of Defense Computer Security administrator who has recently been killed.
47. Powerful rich people interested in world economics and politics hang out in
libraries and are mostly ruthless paranoiacs, filled with not-so-subtle anecdotes.
48. Highly competent Navy SEALs cannot anticipate nor avoid car crashes in when in Moscow and must necessarily get spectacularly crushed for their incompetence.
49. Goofy geeks are really attractive to internationally-cultivated, highly-educated and powerfully-skilled hot chicks living in Prague.
50. Righteous FBI agents have no moral tissue when it comes to sending assassins to eliminate innocent American citizens.
51. You can readily find information on top-secret government programs on the Internet.
52. Bullet wounds wound won't stop a 50kg woman from kicking ass against a 100kg man in hand-to-hand combat.
53. Worldwide real-time facial recognition software exists.
54. Always ask for directions in a high speed chase from your co-pilot by looking for city maps in Cyrillic.
55. Decommissioned government server banks can be rebooted in 30s after years of inactivity.
56. Artificial computer intelligence can run on regular silicon chips and use monochrome text-based command lines to communicate and always display what they're doing on monitors and only need 10mn to upgrade and install itself into all the computers in the world.
57. "If I can get around our security failsafes somehow, I might be able to stop the upgrade without losing the money..."
58. The U.S. President is OK with the illegal adoption of a failed Congress bill if it's a a computer program doing it.
59. Goffy geek can beat artifial intelligence by using Jedi mind tricks, i.e. reasoning with it.
60. Russian military is concerned about world freedom and peace.
61. I've got way too much time on my hands to write this crap up...
50. Righteous FBI agents have no moral tissue when it comes to sending assassins to eliminate innocent American citizens.wow that's so naive
51. You can readily find information on top-secret government programs on the Internet.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echelon_(signals_intelligence)
55. Decommissioned government server banks can be rebooted in 30s after years of inactivity.why sure! computers boot up faster when you just shut them down, but after a year or so they need time to realize where they are and what they used to do ... share
35. If you steal an ending from a movie, make sure the intended audience is the same for both movies.what was that all about ?? share
What do you mean "thinks" [the] Matrix is real. That movie is very real and it reflects exactly how the world is today. YOU ARE IN THE MATRIX and you don't even know it.
share64. A girl at the same weight as the contestants in "America's Top Model" can beat up and break the neck of a 7.2 feet tall russian bodybuilder size mobster.
65. Two giant russian mobsters can't break through a wooden door after unloading a full clip of bullets right through it, but same mentioned model can ram a firepoker through the door and through the broadside of one of the mobster's torso.
For every animal you don't eat I'm going to eat three.
24. Make sure that the headset you use has a gigantic blue led flashing in your ear.
that was so ridiculous
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. - Anaïs Nin
and make sure you touch it every time it says something. because, you know, you're trying to be subtle.
Voting Hist.http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=26598711
[deleted]
12. Before seeing a superior military-officer in Russia, shaving is required.
Have you seen a hairy military man?
[deleted]
66 - The writers of this movie are either to lazy to think up things that make sense or believe the audience won't notice the 66 things on this list (and counting...).
67 - The computer nerd has better ideas of how to solve the mystery than the former NSA agent/current head of casino security.
The best thing about this movie:
This thread. Absolutely hilarious....
And, if Kevin Elders and Michael Nitsberg (the writers of this miracle of Hollywood salesmanship and marketing) ever read this thread, they might learn a thing or two themselves and cook up a better script next time, that is if anyone will hire such talentless hacks ever again. I still can't believe this movie ever got funding, let alone made. The mind boggles.
It's always fun to read "Things I Learned" after watching a crappy movie. At least I get to compare notes telling myself, "Holy *beep* I totally missed number something..." LOL
shareI'm kind of new to the message boards here and had no idea that the "Things I Learned" threads were such an institution at the IMDb boards. I've been reading a few others and they too are freakin' hilarious. Lots of clever people out there.
I'm looking forward to the "Things I Learned" list for "The Proposal" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1041829/). I'd start one but then I'd have to see this movie and I hesitate to do so as I fear for the safety of my soul....
Oh Sandra Bullock, why hast thou forsaken me?!!??
68 - When you're in a car chase, just say *beep* this and your pursuer will flip over.
69 - The FBI takes orders from the NSA.
70 - The CIA has no clue what the FBI is doing.
71 - Want to be photograper super secret agent women have awesome apartments.
72 - When you have someone in your scopes you usually miss, unless they're reaching for a gun.
73 - NSA computers can count cards in foreign casinos.
74 - You can see through the back of a windowless vans.
75 - Shotguns make cars explode.
76 - Computer geeks all know how to fire hand guns.
This thread is soooo much better than the movie... :)
77-The us senate can vote about taking over EVERY computer i the world.
78-However Denmark will be a haven for criminal because cctv are forbidden in public places :)
79- If you in a subway tunnel and a train is coming full speed towards you, try to outrun it for a while but then jump on the next tracks.
80- Echelon thinks :
Visitor> Am I a male ?
ECHELON> I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Visitor> Am I a robot ?
ECHELON> You are.
Visitor> Then you are contradicting yourself.
ECHELON> Fascinating. Consistency is the hobgoblin of simple minds.
81. Computers CAN go crazy... beware.
82. You have to do everything your mobile tells you.
83. If a computer meant to protect people learns of a possible crash... ah well fúck 'em.
84. The Russians have much knowledge.
85. Taxi drivers are way cool.
86. Don't mess with casino owners... they big bad men with lots of power and goons.
Éire is tir an fearr sa domhain!
No. 79 is one of most dumbest things I ever seen. And that happened in the first minute of the movie so you can really get a guide on how the rest of the movie was gonna be. She just leaves it until the last second to jump on the next tracks. God, how thick!
shareNo 79 is a cliche and I see that very often in american movies
share87. Chris O'Donnel + Michael J Fox = Shane West.
88. Always use your mother as an excuse, though we never see her.
89. Uh...hmm...this movie sucks?
90. No matter how many well-known actors are in this film, if the plot is soppy, then...
91. If a sniper is wreaking havoc on your apartment, do NOT go for your gun which is taped under a table.
92. Even if your arm is shot, you can still ram a metal stick through a strong front door and impale that mutha who is converting the door to Swiss cheese.
Hahahahahaha!
In the end, this movie was worth watching just for the sake of this thread. I LOL'ed at every post.
93. You can cause a short and bring down a building's power grid by hitting a plug with your belt.
94. If you swindle a casino out of several hundred thousand euros, they will send a huge guy called Martin to ask you to turn off your phone. It is only when you hit 3 million that they really start getting persistent.
95. You are being watched through your webcam, better put a sock on it.
96. The smarter the computer, the more likely it is to get pissed off at your dumbassness.
97. You're safe to assume that an all-seeing, all-knowing entity won't notice if you kidnap and switch the person that they are watching.
98. If you receive a text message telling you to cross the street, you don't need to look for incoming traffic.
99. World freedom will be saved by the KGB and an eccentric casino owner.
100. Even in a suck @$$ movie, Martin Sheen still is awesome.
Good for you! Here's another one:
101. That woman who you fall in love with may end up doing SOMETHING to your SIM card, save your life, and in the end, hook up with you.
102. hairbrushes can be hazardous
103. Ed Burns usually acts characters that grew up in Brooklyn (see saving private ryan)
104. If you want to return somebody's phone, simply follow him with guns in cars, wreck havoc in the city, and say "i don't want to kill you, i just want to give your phone back".
share105. Apparently Omaha has mountains in it.
Which is weird because I live there and there is no mountains any where in sight.
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"93. You can cause a short and bring down a building's power grid by hitting a plug with your belt."
Oh my god... I almost shut the movie off because of this one. And they even had the nerve to bring it back at the end. Apparently the filmmakers couldn't take their own advice:
"You're going to have to call an electrician" - Shane West
112. Apparently, highly trained snipers can't hit @#^%! when going after at two targets. Seriously, that sniper should turn in his guns and walk around with his head hanging in shame.
No two persons ever watch the same movie.share
113. They use Euros in the Czech Repulic!! The currency is actually the Koruna (or Crown).
Why the hell does Hollywood change the currency of a country? Does it think Americans haven't heard of the Koruna and therefore won't understand the movie?
114. Slot machines in Czech casinos have English writing on them and are very similar to Vegas ones (not my experience there!).
115. If you watch WAR GAMES as a child, and then dream of becoming a movie director, there is a high chance you will more or less copy the entire idea
116. important to always have the location of the scene run down on the left of the screen if you want to give the viewer a sense of yet another x-files/enemy of the state thriller kind of movie
117. really attractive woman will fall for you if you decide to work in the computer industry, have zero sense of fashion and walk around with a horrid hear cut.
118. some movies are worth watching, just so afterwords you can spend an hour reading threads like this on IMDB and laughing your head off.
119. movies like this keep reminding me on why I should not spend my time and money going to the movies, but instead download them illegally off the web
120. Computers need to think for a while before it shuts itself down.(install or not)
121. Computers know ethics.
121. A supercomputer can physically, order a simcard, put in the phone and ship it.
122) Evil computers can get the latest in phone gadgetry.
123) 3,000,000.00 Slot machines take checks.
124) G-Men cannot not hit the broadside of a barn.
125) Gigabytes upon gigabytes can be transported to a remote location across thousands and thousands of miles in ten minutes.
126) A computer can give an estimated time of completion for a download to the second without having any wavering of transfer speed.
127) People who are poisoned via food always fall face-first into their meal.
128) It takes exactly three texts to trace messaging from a sender who seems to be nobody at first.
129) A sniper doesn't bother shooting at his target when she's in clear sight, stabbing one of his partners through the door. (The door is, in fact, in clear sight.)
130) You can't bring a mobile phone in the casino.
shareAmericans are barely aware that other countries even exist, and even then it's only if they've been shocked and awed and reported on CNN with a video phone.
share
The FBI has jurisdiction to operate in foreign countries.
When a cab driver in Prague offers to modify your cell phone, you should just turn it over to him.
When a cab driver who works in Prague tells you that he can only perform a certain task in Moscow, he will mysteriously be in Moscow when you need him to perform that task.
Russian Cold Warriors are wiser then American Cold Warriors.
FBI agents have many foreign intelligence contacts and move easily in the shadow world of foreign intrigue.
There are no police in Prague - so machine guns going off in apartment buildings generate no more urgent a response than a barking dog.
American surveillance computers can gain access to closed networks on foreign soil.
Abandoned military hangars in Nebraska are surrounded by no other buildings. Everyone on the base lived and worked in the hangar.
Highly-trained snipers cannot hit a target when it's in an apartment building across the street.
The entire American spy network is actually run by two guys, one of whom does nothing but drink scotch and yell at the other one.
When Americans can't save the world you can count on Russians
If you get a free phone and you are already following weird SMS's that are making you super rich don't be greedy just enjoy what you already got.
A super computer that is able to control any computer on the net don't bother hiding the records of what it's been doing to make someone rich just because it never realized that some smart guy could figure it out only by reading a SIM.
[deleted]
143: Martin Sheen needs to get a new agent.
"Make me a baby!
Make me a star!
Leave my coffin slightly ajar!"
- Lesley Gore
144. Martin Sheen doesn't like his coffee cold.
share190. Martin Sheen really needed a paycheck.
Voting Hist.http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=26598711