I saw a thread like this on the Veronica Mars board, and thought it would be fun to carry it over to this one. Feel free to add on!
1. Casey should stop leaving phones in Rick Fox's room.
2. Henry is THAT guy.
3. You mess with Roman, someone will piss in your champagne.
4. Kyle can pop a lock in more than one way.
5. This isn't f-ing baseball, it's catering!
"Well, *beep* me pink with a hairy arse!" - Kitten from "Breakfast on Pluto"
6. No personal business on company pond.
7. Kyle is in the overall being-handsome business.
8. Roman is a writer, mostly hard sci-fi.
9. Dolphins can change a babies diaper underwater.
10. THATS A RDD!
I figure our life expectancy is between that of a fly and a fly with a heart condition
11. There is a line to f* Casey.
12. Escapade is a suitable name for girls.
13. Henry could out-act Casey with one feeling tied behind his back.
14. Henry is a runty little puppy.
And finally, you could learn this from almost any show or movie:
15. Russians are scary.
I got a good one:
16. There's more than one script about intelligent fungus.
17. Lookin's free, touchin'll cost ya.
18. Professional is Roman's middle name.
19. Are science fiction and heart mutually exclusive? One word answer: Cocoon.
20. Roman and McLovin wrote "I Am Legend".
21. Ron's grandparents' fornicating is comparable to a mummy battle.
22. Ron didn't step on a rake, he was hit by one.
23. Ain't no minorities goin near a place called Super Cracker.
24. Soup R' Crackers is the fastest growing non-poultry, non-coffee franchise in Southern California
25. Constance didn't really go to the bathroom.
I figure our life expectancy is between that of a fly and a fly with a heart condition
26. Lesbians love karaoke.
27. Henry is kind of the lady, and Casey is kind of the man.
28. A t!tty comparison and a bl0wj0b contest are not the same thing.
29. On the other hand, stardom and the Holocaust are surprisingly similar.
30. MAGNICIFENT!!!
31. Judd Apatow hates Casey.
32. Roman doesn't have $80 - not even for Uncanny X-Men #4.
33. Don't put tuna fish in car vents of people you may car pool with.
34. Nick DiCinto is the loneliest man on Earth.
35. Don't hotbox a coffin.
36. It's pronounced "niche" - he's "zherman".
37. Old black men who you think are blues singers may in fact be retired dentists.
38. And dead black men may have had a thing for Asian ladies.
39. George Takei is allergic to shellfish and pee-shy.
40. On acid, snowflakes and swastikas look the same.
41. Ron doesn't understand how AA works.
42. Following someone's lead means to shut up and let them take all the glory
43. A 6-month contract to do stand up on a cruise ship is not as glorious as it sounds
44. Talking to someone with an earpiece leads to many confusing moments in a conversation
45. Being a rock star sucks.
Brian Peppers is my Homeboy
46. Pride and Prejudice is not actually a period piece, but a movie where the racist southern cop Pride teams up with a rapper named Prejudice to stop a maniac killing hookers.
47. Don't sh!t where you eat is an expression having to do with the circle of life; that we're all a part of this universal cycle. Life and death, regeneration. Like Hinduism.
48. When they do arrive on Earth, they arn't gonna be cute and snuggly. They're gonna be a super advanced society and we are going to be *beep* ants to them. They arn't gonna sing and wave at Francois Truffaut. They're gonna take him and everyone else and feed us into giant processors and strain us for our chemicals.
I figure our life expectancy is between that of a fly and a fly with a heart condition
49. A black person lusting after a white person is temperate deciduous fever, maybe fjord fever.
50. Kate Hudson would not have made a good Ripley in Alien, because Roman would have rooted for the alien.
51. Handing out vials of semen at a party could be considered going the extra mile.
77. Roman is sick of catering Jewmitzvahs.
78. Kyle likes nurses... sit'n on his dong.
79. Lydia thinks Jews are sweet, but watch you wallet.
80. Casey needs to hear "off the phone" at least 4 times before responding.
81. Ron is impressed by how much "Hebs" can eat.
82. Henry must have made it acting, since he's too busy to cater anymore.
83. Pepper McMasters is HOT.
84. Ron has to climb in his hoopty car, like over the driver's side door. (See the company picnic ep...I died when I saw this towards the very end.)
85. Apparently many LA venues such as hotels and restaurants allow outside catering on their property. As someone who's worked in hospitality for years, I found this baffling.
86. Casey is apparently magnetically hot. Maybe it's the pixie bangs, I dunno.
87. It's cool to drink and smoke pot on the job. Totally cool!
ron WILL destroy you
share52. You don't go in the f_uck room and are surprised when people want to f_uck
53. Magic doesn't fit in science fiction
54. If you smile ninety times a day you go insane
"You're Chocolate Chip Charlie!"
55. Casey is Mrs. Butterworth, bitch.
56. Jackal Onassis just wants to be normal.
57. Having standards gets you trash duty.
58. Don't stop believing.
59. Revenge is a dish best served.
share60. It's important to be aware that coffins latch from the outside.
61. Even if you're posing as a famous rockstar, you can't get girls if you ain't got game.
62. When it comes to dirty games with girls, contests are offensive, but comparisons are A-OK.
63. It totally sucks to do X alone.
64. Despite all his boasting, Roman is actually a poor sci-fi writer.
'Yeah, well, you know that's just like, ah, your opinion man.'
65. No risk, no reward.
66. If everything is "magnificent", it pretty much makes everything just "average".
67. It's not lying, it's acting. You just use the true bits and you fake the fake bits. Most actors aren't bright, so it has to be simple.
68. Nobody ever accomplished anything by quitting. What if Ronald Reagan quit?
69. In wine tasting, it's perfectly acceptable to note the wine contains hints of "rocks" and "sticks".
70. It is possible to lose your foot because of pot.
Ok, one more:
71. It's your party, you deserve to enjoy it. But how are you going to enjoy the party if you're worried about whether the shrimp cocktail has been sitting out too long, or is there enough ice, or do the guests think the party is lame, or are they stealing stuff, or are they going through the medicine cabinet because they're nosy or because they think they might find something that'll give them a rocking buzz?
72. You can't be a *beep* idiot to run a Soup-R-Crackers
73. Casey isn't the worst and Henry shouldn't be with someone better
74. Constance attracts awful people (b*tchy popular people, Bobbi, etc.)
75. The people who stand by the sign are only to attract your attention. What you do with it is up to you.
76. Uda got laid three weeks ago, has a kid who's quiet, is usually free on Mondays and likes art films.
Awww sh*t! Is that a pool?
-sweet dee
77. Roman would rather lecture Cramsey the porn star about the difference between fantasy and hard sci-fi than quite possibly have sex with her by keeping his mouth shut.
78. If Ron follows the motto "Don't stop believing," his dreams will come true.
79. George Takei is allergic to shellfish and when he eats it, his face looks like a giant herpe.
80. Black people in South Central LA are not likely to go to any restaurant with "Cracker" in the title. It might as well be called "Jim Crow Soup 'n Salad."
Luke … this is your father … come set the table for dinner.
103. when you're tripping balls on space cakes you can write some pretty bad ass hard sci-fi...on toilet paper.
share[deleted]
Hold out for the popular kids lol.
TV: http://ihatemydvr.blogspot.com
LOST:http://eyemsick.blogspot.com
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105. The coke was so good back then.
share106. Lydia has great flanks
share107. Class president and class clown, that just isn't meant to be.
108. Melinda would not have F'ed Mark had she known that he was married.
109. Womans' glasses are surprisingly popular among overweight mobsters.
110. Hot tubs are best enjoyed naked. The jets feel great on your balls.
When I'm gone I would like something to be named after me. A psychiatric disorder, for example.
111. Ron hates your hair
112. Tim makes the boss uncomfortable
113. Ron will have one of their Mexicans take out the trash in the morning
114. Taking a racial sensitivity class will teach you that saying Mexican is not racist
115. Tom Hanks would love Escapade
116. Uncle Fuzzy will give you a tickle if it's your birthday