MovieChat Forums > Legion (2010) Discussion > Things I learned from watching Legion

Things I learned from watching Legion

posted 14 years ago by seanroberts18
39 replies | jump to latest

1. Two angels can come to earth in their own bodies, but all other angels must possess human beings before they can come.
2. Little old ladies,sent to destroy an unborn baby, will bite the neck of an innocent bystander rather than the target right next to them.
3. A plague of flies are actually not that dangerous, and can't harm anyone, even when they get inside a car.
4. A guy with a hook for a hand takes jokes about "being careful with guns or you will blow your hand off" quite well....
5. A good angel sent to Earth to protect a baby will automatically cut off his own wings, even though they protect him from gunfire.
6. If you are possessed by an angel in a car, your head will shake back and fore like a scene from "Wayne's World."
7. God, who is supposedly all-powerful and all-seeing, is unable to kill an unborn baby himself and has to send lots of possessed angels to kill it.
8. Angels, despite being powerful creatures, suddenly have little or no control over bodies they are possessing, with the result that zombies from "Night of the Living Dead" are fast by comparison.
9. Never buy an ice cream from a guy who has arms and legs twice as long as you.
10. Multi-million dollar companies may sometimes consider building shopping malls in the middle of a desert.
11. Heaven actually looks like a sound stage the size of a wardrobe.
12. Dennis Quaid needs a lot of money and will appear in trashy horror B-movies to make a fast buck.
13. Paul Bettany has an agent who wouldn't know a good movie prospect if it bit him on the neck.

[–] starwolf 14 years ago

I absolutely hate these "10 Things I learned..." (or "100 Things I learned..." or whatever) threads that show up on every movie board, usually two or three times.

However, I will give the OP props for including

Paul Bettany has an agent who wouldn't know a good movie prospect if it bit him on the neck.

Couldn't agree more! I figure the director must be a buddy, or something.

[–] shmobean 14 years ago

A newborn baby can survive a horific car crash (with multiple flips and rolls) without a scratch even though its not in a baby seat.

Never count on a dead-end mechanic to know how to fix a modern BMW.

A mother will gladly throw her own child under the bus to save an already dead man.

This movie is the actual begining of the end of days. I know this because after I gutted my way through it, my eyes bled, and the 7th seal was broken.

Better to eat the dead then have the dead eat you.

[–] nikkiwhite40 14 years ago

well I personally love them. I've added to, and even started a few myself. Please note: These only appear on insanely dumb movies, to add humor to the fact that we just wasted 150-180 minutes of our lives watching it.

[–] WanderingGeek 13 years ago

A newborn baby can survive a horific car crash (with multiple flips and rolls) without a scratch even though its not in a baby seat.

LMAO! I know! The crash killed Audrey (Off screen by the way, we never actually see her die) who was in the backseat, but when a car is driving at 120 and flips multiple times, the two people in the front seats (and the newborn baby) are fine, no, more than fine.

Apparently women who have JUST given birth are fine to just get up and walk around in a huff moments later, then spend a great deal of time running around without any pain like nothing happened. No tearing, no pain, no afterbirth.

God. He created the earth, he created life, he is all knowing and all powerful. So naturally, when he wants to end mankind, sends an old lady, an ice cream man, about 100 angels, then another 500, and an uber angel. I guess even though they were presumably endless angels, only a few thousand were available, and I guess after ending life everywhere else, they were pretty beat by the time they arrived at a small diner with a few people inside. Sending them in waves makes sense too, don't just send all angels at once directly, give them a chance to catch their breath.

The newborn baby will save the human race. I won't explain how or why though, even if it is the central plot point in the movie, it just will.

If the baby is born, God's plan will be ruined. God apparently has poor time management skills seeing as he waits mere hours before Charlie goes into labor to execute his plan.

What does a bean mean?

[–] has_no_pseudonym 13 years ago

Actually, I believe Audrey was clinging to Gabriel's back when he went through the windshield. So she was being slamned into the ground at high speed as he was rolling. This is why we don't see her body in the car when Jeep is climbing out. She was on the road and very dead.

The real question is not how the baby survived the crash, but why the baby didn't fly out of Charlie's arms when Jeep slammed on the breaks.

[–] harkness78 14 years ago

Great post OP!

What i learned:

1. Jeep is an acceptable first name

2. You can stretch 30 minutes out of a film with just inane dialogue and one "suspense" sequence with a dude exploding, sadly killing Dylan from Alien 3

3. Filming with just one set saves money that can be put towards awful SFX scenes, and the hiring of A-lister Dennis Quaid.

4. Obvious punk archetypes, when possesed by angels, listen to death metal instead of actual punk music.

5. The producers were not afraid to kill off BOTH token black guys within the first 3 character deaths

6. I can repeat to myself (after about the 30 minute mark) this can't be any stupider, continually, for 110 minutes

7. Zombies are way stupider and completely not scary and feel like a cheap copout when angel possesion is involved

8. Elite angel commanders prefer Man-At-Arms mace as a main weapon

"Nobody knows anybody, not that well..." - Miller's Crossing

[–] draftdubya 9 years ago

@Harkness: Jeep is a very acceptable name if your last name is Palin

[–] jake-ryan1968 8 years ago

very well said - 7 years after the fact but still valid

[–] Sugarminx 14 years ago

LMAO at your #6 OP: "If you are possessed by an angel in a car, your head will shake back and fore..."

Yeah what was that about? Utterly senseless...that's not to suggest that anything else in this movie *made* sense. Still, that one thing did seem particularly random to me.

All your points made me laugh.

[–] Quiet-Riot 14 years ago

9. If you are a big black guy people have no problem watching you die. But if you're a pretty, young white girl put in the same situation, strangers will stop at nothing to save you.

[–] koffeenkreame41-1 14 years ago

^^ That sounds like most horror movies, LOL!

"I am the ultimate badass, you do not wanna `*beep*` wit' me!" Hudson in Aliens.

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] fistjedi 14 years ago

Forget about Biblical accuracy in this picture.

[–] ibaihk-1 14 years ago

Apparently, angels are vulnerable to gunfire and need to shield themselves with their wings. Which are not vulnerable to gunfire.

[–] bureau203 13 years ago

Good point. God can create bulletproof wings, but not bulletproof angels, and his plans can be stymied by the most trivial things.

"I've seen things that would make you want to write a book on how to puke."

[–] semsox 13 years ago

Angels are highly knowledgeable about assualt weapons.
When being attacked by zombie like creatures, fire at them before they get out of there cars, so you can waste more bullets.

[–] mamorse-263-159175 13 years ago

technically St. Michael the Archangel is the commander of god's army and the patron saint of warriors so if any angel would be knowledgeable about weapons it would be him. Gabriel the Archangel is the messenger of god so it makes sense for him to be the one that god sends to handle the business personally after Michael defects. Gabriel means "god is my strength" and is second only to Michael among Archangels. it wouldn't make sense to send Raphael because he is a healer, and Jerahmeel is the mercy of god Uriel is the light of god. so the two Archangels that the movie chooses make the most sense to use.

[–] Zuider_Zee 13 years ago

14. The DVD player has "stop" and "eject" buttons for movies such as this one.

[–] starwolf 13 years ago

I wish the theatre had 'stop" and "refund" buttons for movies such as this one.

[–] CrackerJack30 13 years ago

15. Instead of flooding, an earthquake, twisters or any other natural disaster it is much more effective to send humans possessed by angels to start the apocalypse.

16. After the first attack of these humanoid zombie-angels, they back off, so the characters have a chance to talk about life, family, the job...

17. Using the possessed bodies of innocent children (the girl with the balloon, the boy in the car) to kill humans is totally ok for angels.

18. Angel + human body = Demonzombie

19. A newborn baby can stop the apocalypse. Why? Errrr... Because it's John Conner, ready to destroy the Skynet... of heaven? Yeah, something like that.

20. Giving birth to a child is no big deal for a woman. She can run arround, fight, even have a car accident with full speed right after the birth - no problemo.

21. If God decides to put an end to mankind, Jesus will do... nothing.

22. Nor will the devil appear.

Btw, if you wanna see a movie about this subject, but with a real plot, great actors and suspence, go watch "God's Army" instead!

[–] DarkMessias 13 years ago

23. Even their Target was the pregnant Woman, they lure out the now Widow and try to kill her because... I dont know why.
Come on God, use Terminators. If you program a Terminator to kill a person he will kill him/her and not anyone else as long as they are not standing in its way. A Terminator Granny would walk into the Diner, wait until the Waitress comes and take the order und rip her heart out. The Zombiangel ordered a steak and killed a random Guy.

[–] CrackerJack30 13 years ago

A Terminator Granny, that's a great idea! I'll bet we see that on Terminator 5 !!

[–] schizom 13 years ago

haha, what an awesome remark.

[–] MercurialAquarian 13 years ago

24. God doesn't necessarily renege on the promise to never again wipe out mankind with a flood of water, just to wipe out mankind with a flood of demon-like human beings, though possessed by angels. But, hey, a promise made is a promise kept, yeah?

25. The angel collar represents loyalty and servitude to God; taking it off asserts free will but loses the halo, the ability to fly and provide really cool self-defense applications. Religion aside, I gotta' get me one of those collars.

26. Apparently L.A. doesn't have a 'big & tall' men's shop for those hard-to-find trench/overcoats for men or angels with their respective members to hide.

27. Gabriel's horn sounds remarkably like those alien invader slave/death machines in Spielberg's joint "War of the Worlds".

28. The only source of revenue for the Paradise Falls diner are from those who are actually lost, yet the gigantic neon green sign lights up the night, every night.

29. It never crosses the mind of lost Yuppie passersby (who stop at out-of-the-way, desolate auto garages and greasy diners on the edge of the Mohave) to NOT insist that the local, young mechanic fix their technical and high performance German motorcars.

30. Onstar is apparently not a part of the BMW customer service package offered to new buyers.

31. Nosy old ladies with walkers don't get a second glance when ordering a thick, blood red steak the size of a Frisbee at the Paradise Falls diner.

32. All black supportive characters in most action films should be issued red uniform shirts, a la Star Trek and the doomed Enterprise crew members, to allow the Academy to review their work up to their inevitable demise and not wait for better performances from the actor since they will surely be killed soon anyway.

[–] scan-479-856054 12 years ago

Okey, first try :)

33. Gabriel have to protect himself from bullets but not afraid and totally okey to put "spear" though himself with no harm.

34. Cafe with big windows is impregnable fortress. Only thing you need to barricade entrance and your're safe. (My favorite)

35. If someone asks you "who are you?", take his shotgun put it at man's head, then say "They're here!" and everyone will be at your command even if there is no one here.

[–] stitch_groover 12 years ago

A Jeep cannot repair a BMW.

[–] CatLover4 12 years ago

"A jeep cannot repair a BMW."

LMAO! Too funny!

"oooooh....someone needs a RAID enema to kill that bug up their ass!"

[–] conangirl 12 years ago

1) when you see an extremely large dark atypical cloud on the horizon - moving at a high velocity in your direction? Just stand there, look at it - don't alert anyone.. go back in the garage and start working on a beat up old baby crib.

2) When a crazy, saber toothed old lady is gliding toward you at high speed, with absolute intent to chew you to pieces? Don't pull the trigger.. and forget that everyone's life in the restaurant is depending on you. (thank gawd for Tyrese)...

3) Angels prefer their steak rare with an order of flies.

4) Angels need guns to fight their battles. you've got to be kidding.

5) Michael the angel goes up on the roof with all of the males that are good shooters (protectors). Yet he leaves Charlie and the others in the restaurant with Jeep the one who hesitates at LEAST 5 mins. before realizing he can't pull the trigger. Great choice, Mike..

6) and yes, Jeep, your father lied. You have PLENTY to be ashamed of.. particularly, this movie..

7) A gigantic horde of flies will invade a moving vehicle with people in it - but pass over an occupied restaurant.

some days, it's not worth chewing through the restraints..

[–] mokienatrix 12 years ago

#1. Michael and Gabriel are archangels, the horde isn't.

#5. Common in movies with angels: angels become human if they lose their wings. Part of being human is having free will, whereas angels are obedient servants.

#7. God delegates. Why have lots of absolutely obedient servants if you're going to micromanage the universe?

#8. Eh, you try going from an incorporeal existence to suddenly piloting an oversized bag of meat.