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How Splice Nearly Got Me Banned From My Local Theater

posted 15 years ago by flish553
286 replies | jump to latest

I don't want to ruin this movie for anyone, so if you haven't seen it, please don't read any further.

Alright, let's start with the previews. When previews for Splice hit the airwaves, it was promoted as a sci-fi/horror film about scientists who create a new life form, which the clever writers called "science's newest miracle (is) a mistake." After seeing a handful of trailers, I must admit I was intrigued. Maybe this was going to be like Species with more of a plot or character development to it. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
The actors aside (both of whom I adored in other films, Polley in the Dawn of the Dead remake and Brody as the mentally handicapped guy in The Village), I felt a bit awkward when Dren watched the two protagonists have sex on a filthy labratory couch. Then I had trouble getting past the weird feeling in my gut when Adrian Brodie taught Dren how to dance and she was OBVIOUSLY attracted to him. Also, when his dumb-ass decided it was alright to have sex with this creature (not a clone of his girlfriend, a mixture of animals and humans, so a THING), I had to fight the urge to get up and leave the theater. And finally, during the last twenty minutes of the film, when Dren becomes a male and visciously rapes Sarah Polley's character, I decided I wanted my money back.

As I said, I do not blame any of the actors for this movie's faults. I'd just like to know who the hell saw this schlock-fest and thought it was a decent film. I also read something about the DVD release should have alternate endings. Like what? Dren turns back into a female and rapes Andrien Brody? Come on, how on Earth could anyone want to see this disturbing film again?
After it was FINALLY over (and my girlfriend was nearly sick from the rape scene), we headed for the nearby exit. I couldn't stand the feeling I had in my stomach about what I'd just seen and felt I had to say something. I found one of the girls working the concession stand and politely asked her to locate the manager for me. After a minute, a large man in a nice suit walked up and shook my hand, introducing himself as the manager. I explained to him that I did not enjoy the film but I was not going to demand a refund. I simply wanted to know how the hell this movie got the semi-decent ratings it did and how he felt about it? Apparently I said something wrong because the big guy in the nice suit turned bright red and said, "If you'd rather not come back to this theater, you can continue talking about this movie. Otherwise, please refrain from libling a decent film."
By the way, lible is printed, slander is spoken. Dumb-ass.

Basically, I'd just like to know what happened to the science-fiction (or in this case, somewhat science-fact) movies that used to frightening yet not sickening. Something has gone seriously wrong with our mentality as a nation if we feel it's alright to make movies about creating life, then killing it, then getting raped by it, then killing it again. What does anyone learn from watching this kind of movie?
How NOT to make a movie.

[–] kallewithc 15 years ago

Stop your whining little crybaby, if you get so easily offended stick to the disney channel, mmkey. Off you go, there's a hannah montana marathon tonight.

[–] trollomatic 15 years ago

>>>Stop your whining little crybaby, if you get so easily offended stick to the disney channel, mmkey. Off you go, there's a hannah montana marathon tonight

well, there were a few little kids (elementary school) in this movie by themselves. Before the movie, they thought it was a cartoon because of the mpaa poster ads for it.

After the movie they started they said "That's a real person"(not a cartoon).

What was annoying was they kept kicking the back of my seat.

so I finally had to get up in the middle of the movie and move some rows up.

But there were things in this movie definitely not appropriate for little elementary school age kidss to see.

But I didn't and don't know who those kids are.

[–] ExaltedOne 14 years ago

You should've called the manager and have them expulsed right in the beginning. It's a goatdamned R-rated movie. Who let those kids in, anyway? The usher should lose his job for this.

[–] egloskerry 14 years ago

Seriously? Are you one of those people who calls the police when someone speeds by 1 mph, or doesn't come to a complete stop at a stop sign? You do realize that MPAA ratings are not law, right? It is not illegal for someone under 17 to see an R-rated movie, nor is it illegal for a theater to allow minors to see such movies. Those kids had every right to see that movie. BTW, you know "Parental Advisory" labels on CDs? Those aren't law, either. Neither are ESRB ratings.

It's one thing to be upset at someone disrupting your movie, but go parent your own kids.

[–] ExaltedOne 13 years ago

Where I come from, Restricted means Restricted - as in "the staff is not supposed to let any minor in." Of course, kids would try to sneak in and see the movie (kids always do... I wasn't any different). But if they were caught and reported, they could even get reprimanded at school. :-)

While I realize this sound a tad too strict, I still consider it a better practice than letting crazy parents to take their toddlers to see Splice, Friday the 13th or The Ring.

[–] mc_thor 15 years ago

"By the way, lible is printed, slander is spoken. Dumb-ass."

Did you say that to the big guy or did you bite your lip and wait until you were out of ear-shot? My moneys on the latter.

It seems you expected the manager to entertain your stupid prattle and was devastated when he didn't. So you return home with all that rage and come onto IMDB for support.

Seriously, the manager should have punched you and your nauseated girlfriend.

[–] heuer88 14 years ago

I bet the manager didn't eve say that. None of the "dialogue" seems naturalistic in any way. at best it was highly exaggerated so the OP could get people on his side.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=heuerj88

[–] SteelCitysFinest417 13 years ago

by - mc_thor on Sat Jul 17 2010 08:15:18

"By the way, lible is printed, slander is spoken. Dumb-ass."

Did you say that to the big guy or did you bite your lip and wait until you were out of ear-shot? My moneys on the latter.

It seems you expected the manager to entertain your stupid prattle and was devastated when he didn't. So you return home with all that rage and come onto IMDB for support.

Seriously, the manager should have punched you and your nauseated girlfriend.

[–] stagebandman 15 years ago

I just have one question for you:

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A MOVIE THEATER BEFORE??????

Your post is one of the most moronic things I have read on IMDB, and, boy, that is saying a lot! I have no quibble with you not liking the movie. Check out my tag line for my philosophy on that. But your reaction was completely inappropriate.

Here's a question, were there other customers around while you were confronting the manager? Were you yelling at him (which I suspect you were)? Was there a reason for him to be upset with you, personally?

I actually liked Splice, and you obviously missed the whole pheromone thing that explained why Clive had sex with her, so I suggest this to you: When you read a review, go further than the number of stars and the headline. Find out why it's rated R. Decide whether you think you might like it or not. AND THEN STAY HOME! I certainly don't want to be in a theater with the likes of you. You're exactly the type of person who makes the movie going experience terrible.

Time to grow up. Please.

If we all liked the same movie, there'd only be one movie!

[–] Kiso 14 years ago

Nicely put

And thanks, I missed the pheromone bit too. I was a little mystified as to why he gave in so easily.

To the moaner: It is spelled libel. be careful who you call a dumbass if you cannot spell.

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

[–] lars-wadefalk 14 years ago

Haha, yes I agree completely. That was the most moronic way to react to a movie ever.
The OP is a living commercial for protected sex.

What had he expected when go seeing a movie that's about immoral biological experiments? Cute little cuddly babies and tiny little kittens so that you can go: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwhhh!

How sensitive can one be? Has the OP EVER seen anything worse than gremlins? The movies Species, Alien, Alien 4 are much more gory and slimy than this.

Theres a lot of movies with way more disturbing rape scenes than this.

Its part of the story ffs, such things has to be there sometimes to carry it forward.

It's actually a decent movie I think, not the best really, but not that bad because it has some fresh ideas, and thats not too often these days.

But the slugs looked pretty cheesy I think, must be something they had pulled from the muppet show some 30 years ago. LMFAO when I saw them squashing each other in the cage.

[–] ripleyjames 15 years ago

You were horrified at a horror movie? How horrible.

[–] jonesy82 15 years ago

I don't get what you were trying to achieve by telling the manager what you thought of the movie. What were you expecting him to do/say?
It'd be like phoning up a radio station and telling them you didn't like the last song they played, they'd tell you to go *beep* yourself as well.
Also, you should look into what a movie is about before you watch it if you get offended by violence, you must have noticed the certificate surely??
As for what do we learn from it, how about if you see a movie you don't like you just forget about it carry on with your life like most people do and avoid the risk of getting yourself banned from the theatre.
At the end of the day YOU chose to see that movie so even if you didn't like it that's down to YOUR decision to watch it in the first place, you haven't got a leg to stand on.

[–] thesignal 15 years ago

You have to love it when someone is full of beans and starts ranting on the Internet thinking people will back them, only to quickly find themselves being ripped to shreds.

OP - maybe you should have complained to your grandma instead of coming on here, only someone old and senile would sympathise with such an obvious flaccid member.

[–] s272112 15 years ago

I agree, I don't know why he talked to the manager, but saying he is a child and all this stupid crap because he didn't like a rape scene is such a ridiculous response. I thought from the point where Brody started to screw Dren to the ending was absurd as well, and got pretty much no enjoyment or entertainment from it at all. We are all entitled to our opinions, and I am glad rape and sex with animal hybrids is cool with some people, but the fact that not all the degenerates are locked up in the world is what makes it such a diverse place, I suppose...

[–] Kiso 14 years ago

Rape is not "cool". but that does not mean it should never be in a film. There was a point to the story.

I am more disturbed by people who think the pointless violence in so called 'action" movies is cool.

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

[–] allrealityisvirtual 13 years ago

What planet are you from??? Rape is ALWAYS cool - that's why they call it "rape"!

[–] caipirina7 15 years ago

It would not have been Splice that got you banned ... it would have been your attitude and / or your failure to be better informed about the movie before.

I agree that this was not the movie highlight of the year, but it was some decent film with some great, subtle FX.

If IMDB had been around in 1978, people like you would have complained about 'Alien', which now is a classic ...

Chill man, you don't have to watch Splice ever again :)

[–] filmklassik 15 years ago

Well they wouldn't have complained about ALIEN in '78 because it came out in '79, but I take your point. In 2010.

[–] trollomatic 15 years ago

>>>It would not have been Splice that got you banned ... it would have been your attitude and / or your failure to be better informed about the movie before

there were elementary school age kids in there by theirselves and before the movie started, I overheard them say "this is going to be a good cartoon".

Then after it started they said "That's a real person"

[–] stunts001 15 years ago

Its not the managers fault if you didn't like the movie.

And secondly I taught it was a pretty good movie, the truth is its an 18's rated movie so if your saying you and your girlfriend as adults couldn't watch a fictional movie because it involved sex then frankly your just too immature for movies.
Im surprised the manager didn't just laugh at you and walk off.