MovieChat Forums > Shelter (2009) Discussion > This movie... changed me LOL

This movie... changed me LOL

posted 14 years ago by wun_tyme_onli
27 replies | jump to latest

I made this account solely for posting this and remaining anonymous, and I doubt that I will ever post again, but I might come back to see the responses I get. I didn't know where else to post this, so I decided this would be the best place and I hope people appreciate it.

I guess I'll give a little bit of background first.

I'm a teen living in Australia in my last year of high school. Closeted gay, not going to come out anytime soon, and not planning to. I'm neither masculine nor feminine, just in the middle. I have a few close friends, a lot of friends by association, but I tend to keep myself distant from people in general. Recently I've started to feel quite lonely - I've always been somewhat of a loner, but because I've never really let anyone in, it's kind of built up over the years and now I just want someone.

I've always envisioned my future as going to uni, getting a great paying job, being successful, travelling everywhere, not being tied down, with the occassional partner here and there. Being free, I guess. But this movie... it showed me something different. After I watched it yesterday, it made me question what my values are. I never considered settling down, having a family. I suppose I never considered love. Now it's like I don't know what I want. Especially when I listen to the opening song 'I Like That', I just go somewhere different in my head. It's nice.

This is the first gay movie I've watched, I've never been interested in them actually, so I don't really know how other movies compare. I'm surprised it's had this effect on me, though. It portrayed Zach and Shaun's lives as so normal and everyday, so accepting. Can it be like that in real life? I never thought it could. It kind of reminded me that anyone can find love. Even if it wasn't realistic, this movie was a nice little fantasy of something that I kind of now want.

Anyway, that's all XD. I'm not usually like this, but I just had to get it off my chest. I've never talked about my sexuality to anyone, even on the internet, so this is a first. To those who read it, thanks a lot.

[–] scottie-bobson 13 years ago

I felt the same way you did bro. I just started coming out in Feb. 2011

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] Mike1388 13 years ago

Not trying to sound cliche but yeah I do feel the same way. Like you said I do tend not to get too close with my friends, there is sorta bubble that I keep for myself, thinking it could protect me. And just like you, I've envision the same thing about my future (which half of it came true)! Went to uni, and now land quite decent job, been traveling lots too, but like you I also think that once I achieved my freedom I would be on the hunt of getting laid? But that's not true. Shelter changed me, in a way that now I question myself, if what I want in life and more importantly will I be able to let someone in?

I hope you check this board sometimes, it's pretty great to read the responses and knowing that there are someone out there feeling the same way as we do.

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] loverboy260 13 years ago

hey wun time only

i feel exactly like you do.. i have few close friends and lots of other "friends by association" but nowadays i feel so lonely.. i want someone to hold me, to be with me etc etc but i cant... i dont know what my future holds, i dont know what to do.. it is killing me.. i just wanna scream, vent out my anger.. and i do sometimes cry when it gets too much but worst thing is i dont have anyone to talk to.. i mean a friend.. i can talk online as much as i want to but sometimes a friend or someone to hold me, to say its ok..

damn it man.. why did this have to happen to someone like me!!!

--
http://quality-cards.co.uk/
http://www.tvshow-caps.co.uk/

[–] paultpault 13 years ago

I am Australian too. I think our macho culture makes it more difficult but I guess it is the same all over the world. I really enjoyed Shelter also. Two everyday guys which is what most gays are like anyway. Can't believe any mother could leave their child though but I guess it happens. Laters.

[–] wun_tyme_onli 13 years ago

Hi guys >.<

So umm... it's been over a year since I posted this, and the responses have been nice to read. As I said, the original post was the first time I had ever talked about my sexuality so this thread will always have a small but significant place in the corner of my mind.

Anyway, a lot has changed in a year, and I figured I might as well update this with what's been going for a bit of... closure, I suppose.

I ended up coming out to one of my best friends on the 20th of July last year (yes, I remembered the date rofl). We went out to the city and I was initially planning on telling her face-to-face, but couldn't find the right time so a couple of days later I told her through FaceBook.

A couple of weeks later, I told her boyfriend, who's also one of my best friends, at a party while I was drunk. I had planned on telling him that night regardless, but being intoxicated made it kind of easier (and messier, I was an emotional wreck that night).

After that, I told 4 more or so close friends over the span of a couple of months. Oh, and everyone's taken it fine. I started to realise that the less of a deal I make of it, the less of a deal it is to other people. I finished high school in the top tier of my year level and I'm currently at Uni now.

Those first couple of months when I first came out were the hardest. It was just so confronting and a heavy mix of overwhelming emotions. But I've gotten over the initial shock and I'm pretty fine now.

Even though I'm not publicly "out out" yet, the most important people in my life know, except my mum (and by extension her boyfriend). Out of my family, only my aunty (who lives with me) knows, and the next big step is telling my mum.

I also decided long ago that once I get into Uni I wasn't going to deny my sexuality if asked, and so far I've stuck to that, so I suppose that's tantamount to being "properly" out.

It's very liberating for people to know. I've started to 'allow' myself to be gay. Whenever I would see someone attractive I would usually try and repress or expel my thoughts, but I don't anymore. I can joke about it, make fun of it, acknowledge it now.

So, I guess that's it then.

[–] davidjamesbellamy 13 years ago

Hi guys >.<

So umm... it's been over a year since I posted this, and the responses have been nice to read. As I said, the original post was the first time I had ever talked about my sexuality so this thread will always have a small but significant place in the corner of my mind.

Anyway, a lot has changed in a year, and I figured I might as well update this with what's been going for a bit of... closure, I suppose.

I ended up coming out to one of my best friends on the 20th of July last year (yes, I remembered the date rofl). We went out to the city and I was initially planning on telling her face-to-face, but couldn't find the right time so a couple of days later I told her through FaceBook.

A couple of weeks later, I told her boyfriend, who's also one of my best friends, at a party while I was drunk. I had planned on telling him that night regardless, but being intoxicated made it kind of easier (and messier, I was an emotional wreck that night).

After that, I told 4 more or so close friends over the span of a couple of months. Oh, and everyone's taken it fine. I started to realise that the less of a deal I make of it, the less of a deal it is to other people. I finished high school in the top tier of my year level and I'm currently at Uni now.

Those first couple of months when I first came out were the hardest. It was just so confronting and a heavy mix of overwhelming emotions. But I've gotten over the initial shock and I'm pretty fine now.

Even though I'm not publicly "out out" yet, the most important people in my life know, except my mum (and by extension her boyfriend). Out of my family, only my aunty (who lives with me) knows, and the next big step is telling my mum.

I also decided long ago that once I get into Uni I wasn't going to deny my sexuality if asked, and so far I've stuck to that, so I suppose that's tantamount to being "properly" out.

It's very liberating for people to know. I've started to 'allow' myself to be gay. Whenever I would see someone attractive I would usually try and repress or expel my thoughts, but I don't anymore. I can joke about it, make fun of it, acknowledge it now.

So, I guess that's it then.

It is so nice to read about your journey. You took the first steps, well done. I very much hope your mum is supportive & that you find happiness whenever, wherever & with whoever you are meant to.

I'm a little curious, are you still fond of this movie?

[–] wun_tyme_onli 13 years ago

After a while, I started to realise it's not all that great a movie if I think about it critically, and I mostly enjoyed it due the subject matter.

But it doesn't change that fact that it was the catalyst of my coming out, my first step. It's one of the movies that will stick with me for the rest of my life. So yes, I am still quite fond of it.

On a side note, I watched 'Prayers for Bobby' about a week ago. After the second half of the movie, I just couldn't control the waterworks.

[–] ElianBaker 13 years ago

This movie really is moving though. And reading your original post about it made me realise it even more. Because that beautiful fantasy of love--between two guys or two girls or anyone who's not heterosexual--is so rarely shown in film. Or literature, or the media or the news, whatever...

So it's a special thing to have this film that portrays love between two normal everyday guys.

[–] Mart-13 13 years ago

I am glad, One Time, that you did find the courage to come out to the people important in your life.

I know there are many more dramatic gay films, just that this one is a very nice coming out (or, well, 'coming of age') movie ^_^

I guess coming out is like coming of age in a way, and unlike with straight people and their coming of age and the numerous flicks they've gotten to see on the subject, coming out is often a delayed process.

Big-impact gay movies, and even small films like "Shelter" might as well convince the rest of the world to give LGBT people opportunities to have a less-delayed coming out process.

What finally happens in "Shelter" would not have been possible in progressive countries maybe even just a decade ago, and well past that.

[–] b-claudio 11 years ago

Nice to hear everything turned out good for u.

[–] bpoz 13 years ago

I'm glad you found this film and that it awakened something positive in you. And very glad to hear how well your personal journey has been going.

I was a little underwhelmed by Shelter when I first saw it because I'd heard so much hype and knew so many people who thought it was the best thing since Brokeback Mountain. A second viewing actually struck something more in me and it's been a repeat favorite ever since. I like the way the main characters genuinely admire and support each other. Shaun wasn't just blowing smoke when he told Zach he was impressed with him as an artist and I believe that Zach really did think Shaun was a good writer. Add in the affection they had for Cody, and willingness to take on the responsibility to raise someone else's child (which as Shaun pointed out was a choice) and it's hard to resist them. Their eventual solidarity and mutual support are inspiring and I can't imagine better role models for a child than the example they set for him just by their sincerity and instinctive generosity. I still get a little annoyed with Zach for the way he treats Shaun during his confused period but am willing to forgive him since he comes through his growing pains so sucessfully.

As a straight woman (and one who ran straight to love and tends to open my heart to many friends), I can't claim to relate to it in the same way as you but I love that it sparked the things in you that it did. Best of luck in all that you do. :-)

Oh and I thought Prayers for Bobby was very powerful too and can understand your reaction to it. Unlike some here, I really liked Latter Days as well and would highly recommend it. It's not the best movie ever made but what it lacks in sophistication, I think it more than makes up for in sincerity. And I like some of the themes to be found in it. Same with Save Me starring Chad Allen (who also stars in the Donald Strachey mystery series, which has a committed gay couple as the main characters - there are four movies in that series). More 'mainstream' storylines for LGBT movies, for lack of a better word, seem to be available these days so there's a fair bit to choose from if you're looking for other films that fit that bill.

Best wishes.

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] bgtaylor802 13 years ago

I'm considerably older than you and know how you feel. The only advice I can give you is: Do not let your life pass you by and never be ashamed of what you are.

The movie "Shelter" hit me as it did you and there are scenes that still cause me to tear up a little.
If you look over the script of "Shelter" and look deeply into the performances, the word that comes to mind is "tenderness." Most moving is that it is Zach's two straight friends, Tori and Gabe that tell him to follow his heart.
I don't find "Latter Days" a particularly good film, either in the writing or acting. The only film I find in the same league as "Shelter" is the British film, "Maurice" (1984). The story is similar to "Shelter" but is set in early 20th century England when homosexuality meant jail and disgrace if you were caught. The story is based on the novel by E.M. Forster who was, himself, gay.

I'm 72 now and only came out to my family and friends last year, meaning I've pretty much missed out on life. In my day, if you came out as gay in High School, you were as good as dead. If you were in the military and found to be gay it meant the equivalent of a dishonorable discharge. You really couldn't discuss it with anybody except another gay person. When you are over 70 and you look ahead, you realize that your time is pretty well used up.

So, don't do as I did. Don't let your life pass you by. You live in better times, now, in that regard -- or so it is said.