MovieChat Forums > Horsemen (2009) Discussion > 100 Things I learnt from 'The Horsemen'

100 Things I learnt from 'The Horsemen'

posted 16 years ago by vebkumar
104 replies | jump to latest

#1) The best way to deal with a lost parent is to create a mass murdering serial killer teen forum online.

#2) It doesn't take years of perfection to get nearly impossible surgical techniques down. Any med student / nurse can get it right.

#3) Nothing says "Say No to Homophobia" like suspending the bigot with industrial grade fishing hooks and making him watch you cut up your stomach.

#4) Tom Cruise was right about psychology.

#5) It doesn't matter if you are Asian and were adopted when you were really young and have since been living with all-white family. When you grow up, you will have a really strong accent.

#6) It's pretty easy for a bunch of kids to transport some really heavy solid metal suspension equipment to different locations without being noticed.

#7) Policemen don't believe in calling for backup. The best strategy when you feel your kids are in danger is not to call the station for some squad cars but to head up there alone.

#8) The going rate to tip your kids when you ditch them is $20.

[–] csaborio 15 years ago

I went through the trouble of recovering my lost password, verifying my account, only to say THANK YOU. These "100 things I learnt" posts are great, I've read all of them and they are incredible.

These posts make watching *beep* movies all worthwhile.

Thanks again!

PS: To the grammar Nazis: Who gives a flying *beep* of learnt is a word? Your posts toned the whole thread down, douche-bags.

[–] apocalypse_please24 15 years ago

#5) It doesn't matter if you are Asian and were adopted when you were really young and have since been living with all-white family. When you grow up, you will have a really strong accent.

I was thinking that too. I mean seriously, she'd been there for years.

#31 -- When your father ignores you he also ignores the smell of liters upon liters of fresh paint emanating from your room.

LMAO, indeed.

Semper fi, sissy britches!

[–] mrs_m_norris 15 years ago

184. For deceased mothers in movies, cancer is always the cause of death.

185. One of a medical examiner's duties is to make large copies of historic wood carvings and give them to the police.

186. Smeared blood stays bright red for hours/days.

187. Serial killers care deeply about kids brushing their teeth, parent-teacher conferences, and eating healthy salads in greasy spoon restaurants.

188. When presenting pulled teeth to the police, make sure you do it in the classiest way possible - on a fancy silver tray.

189. Everything and everyone in Canada is stuck in the 80's.

190. It is far more preferable to drown than to leak.

If you can't find a friend, make one.
-May (2002)

[–] hhunde 15 years ago

191. its ok to make a bad movie with awfully lot of plot holes as long as your director is making videos for popular bands.
192. teachers will always wait hours for you only to say that your child is absent, phones are for losers.
193. when you find the place where torture devices were made, dont bother to find out who bought them.
194. make sure that serial killers enter and exit elevators exactly at 4p.m and 7p.m, no one will make sure why and just gonna forget it.
195. dont bother to write clues on memory cards that you make someone swallow, nobody will care.
196. you can tell that the victim is male and lives in the city just by looking at the teeth.
197. dentists are the worst detectives.

[–] JustinDahl 15 years ago

Thank you for all of these, this movie actually did disturb me b/c i don't watch many films of this genre, however, your play on many of the mistakes, ridiculousness of the plot, and scene faux pas lightened my mood a lot...

[–] albertflasher 13 years ago

#198 -- Waifish, angst-ridden teens, who are probably atheistic or at least agnostic, will really turn to the Bible for "inspiration."

#199 -- One of these waifish teens, while still suspended from the ceiling by fishooks and near death, can still give an angry speech about why he is really, really pissed off at his dad.

#200 -- Asian waifish teen can brutally torture, maim, perform an abortion on, and eventually kill her mother in her own upstairs bedroom -- a process that must have taken awhile -- with no one hearing a damn thing.

#201 -- That you wasted 60+ minutes of your life that are impossible to get back watching this awful, awful movie!

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] davearmstrong-135-125700 13 years ago

#202)- If you discover a mutilated corpse in a downtown hotel room, be sure to make no attempt to track down and interview anyone in the adjoining rooms in order to find out whether they might have seen or heard anything unusual during the time of the murder.

#203)- If you are a professional forensic odontologist, you will promise your critically injured pychopathic emo son that you will spend more time with him after has been locked away in prison, or an asylum for the criminally insane, than you spent with him while he was living at home with you and leading a fairly normal life.

#204)- When the supplier of the equipment used in the murders tells you that the perpetrators faxed their order and schematics to his company, make no effort to examine the supplier's telephone records to determine the source of the fax. Nor should you ask the supplier what method of payment was used, nor ask to what address the equipment was delivered.

[–] tjordan-2 13 years ago

#204 - the source of the fax was stated by the builder as Kinko's, so that would be a dead end.

[–] noazrk 13 years ago

Except that MAYBE Kinko's would still have security video showing who paid for the fax when the transaction occured.

[–] noazrk 13 years ago

#205)- If you are a Detective/Cop and you go to a businessman for information it's okay to be a complete A-HOLE to the owner for no reason, even if he's co-operating/helping with you and your investigation. (Quaid was a complete dick to the owner of the tattoo parlor for no reason)

#206)- If you are a cop & are investigating a scene with your partner he'll always disappear when you need him the most. (not the 1st movie where this happened)

Noah

[–] genie-13 12 years ago

#207) I would rather be at home catchin' a jack to Belladonna.

[–] hansbizarre 11 years ago

#208 If you think torturing your brother and cutting your heart out in front of him is going to improve his homophobic tendencies you're barking up the wrong tree because his justification for your actions is still going to be "because he was a *beep* f**got!"

artspear.com - just throwing it out there

[–] dreamstate123 11 years ago

Well, so much for watching this. Next

[–] zwooven 10 years ago

#209 Giving your kid stacks of twenty dollar bills is as emotionally devastating as molesting them.

#210 Death is dying, war is not dying.

#211 All kids want are parents who give them less money, and search their rooms more.

[–] AssetsonFire 9 years ago

#212 When your kid makes a cake for his dead mum and writes 'Happy Birthday' on it in the same blood red style as that serial killer you're chasing, perhaps he's trying to tell you something.

#213 After spending several days in a sandwich bag, aborted fetuses won't give off a rancid smell you can detect a mile off.

#214 If you see an unfamiliar spelling of a word like 'learned', don't check in a dictionary first, just launch straight into an impertinent lecture about it not being a real word, making yourself look like a dumb-ass (okay, I learnt that one from this thread rather than the movie).

~.~
There were three of us in this marriage
http://www.imdb.com/list/ze4EduNaQ-s/