100 Things I learnt from 'The Horsemen' - Horsemen (2009) Discussion

[–] GrundleMan81 16 years ago

Its going to be hard matching the first 8 but here goes...

#9) Hanging yourself up by fish hooks 10 feet in the air with no help from anyone, is a lot easier than you think.

#10) Checking your kids rooms at least once every 3 years could save you a whole bunch of time and trouble.

#11) Because of the poor economy, the price of complex suspension torture equipment has gone down dramatically so it would be no problem for say... a few kids to purchase 4 of them.

#12) Why carry your lunch around in a zip lock bag when you can carry a fetus instead.(Sorry bout that one)

#13) If my kids are experiencing psychological problems, i now know not to send them to group therapy b/c they will end up killing people.

#14) If you find out that your teenage son hardly goes to school, find out what he is doing instead...seriously.

#15) Serial killers have the unique ability to see straight through two-way mirrors.

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[–] dm47 16 years ago

#16) The Red Wings have advanced to the Western Conference Finals despite a certain police detective/really big fan's total lack of support... because "there's this case."

#17) Thanks to high-speed Internet (and clever procedural techniques as seen on TV), motion picture detectives can now speedily locate suspects via the use of eerily life-like sketches spotted on a dime by vigilant rat fink nurses of the frigid Great Lakes region.

#18) Future celluloid reunions of Breaking Away cast members should be frowned upon. (Damn Cutters!)

#19) Lou Taylor Pucci was cuter, and less lethal, as a Thumbsucker.

#20) Since Fargo, Peter Stormare had been looking for another great role that would allow him to both freeze his gonads off and stretch himself as an actor. He's still looking.

#21) Whenever a movie begins with the main character groggily waking up to face his or her day, a screenwriter in Hell loses his tail.

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[–] smoke0 16 years ago

lol

Revenge is a dish that best goes stale.

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[–] Nocturne83 16 years ago

#21) Whenever a movie begins with the main character groggily waking up to face his or her day, a screenwriter in Hell loses his tail.

ROFL! Best one so far.. here's one;

#22) The teeth detective must solve a piercing-gone-wrong-case...?

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[–] dm47 16 years ago

;)

#23) If he didn't before, John must now really regret having had those darn Revelations of his. As if all the 666 hulabaloo hasn't been bad enough -- now this!

#24) Ziyi Zhang proves that the taint of Brett Ratner (Rush Hour 2) does NOT go away.

#25) The next logical leap after venturing down Tattoo Alley is uncomfortable suspension via fish hooks.

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[–] horrorshowmovie 16 years ago

Hanging yourself up by fish hooks 10 feet in the air with no help from anyone, is a lot easier than you think.

THIS is what bothered me

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[–] Sharkanana 16 years ago

#26-Really happy scenes are always followed by really sad scenes.

#27-Dennis Quaid likes scenes where he gets to instruct someone else to operate a VCR.

#28-When your son becomes a serial killer and murders a few people, and then tries to commit suicide to tell you he doesn't like you, its okay to tell you younger son that he is going to be okay.

#29-All tattoo parlor employees do hardcore drugs.

#30-When your wife is dieing of cancer, the best way to deal with the situation is to go catch some bad guys.

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[–] not_even_one 16 years ago

#31 -- When your father ignores you he also ignores the smell of liters upon liters of fresh paint emanating from your room.

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[–] demens-1 16 years ago

#32) If you dont go into your kids room for 3 years, he's probably a serial killer.
#33) "why did he do it" - "cause he's a *uc*ing F*aggot" = Line of the year
#34) Slow motion shots of Dennis Quaid falling onto his bed, and dipping his face into water are COOL...
#35) Ziyi Zhang should not be in movies without Swords.

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[–] goofyness 16 years ago

#36) always leave the most crucial piece of detective work (like what do all these killers have in common/ where did they meet) to the last 15mins to create tension.

#37) the silent misunderstood son will always be the killer, especially when introduced so early in the film. never rule out the Edward Norton in Primal Fear complex.

#38) carrying and fixing up a complex suspension torture equipment with fish hooks all by yourself to an empty (perhaps closed) theatre, without the use of a car, does not arouse suspicions.

#39) if you're smart enough, you can get away from not attending school that often.

#40) leaving naked pictures (a whole pile) of yourself in a bible is safe, and make sure to put them in the living room, on a low table.

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[–] kwonc 16 years ago

50) Even if you are a forensic odontologist who has written a book on the subject, when you give an expert analysis to the Lt in charge, he asks "are you sure about that?"

51) Horsemen are allowed to write "Come and See" once at a crime scene. If you kill off one of your own horsemen, then no one else can write "Come and see" in his place.

52) Don't adopt chinese orphans, they will kill you 10 years later.

53) If your psychologist's name is Annette Richardson, then you will likely become a serial killer.

54) When going back to a crime scene to look for clues, police do it in the middle of the night with a flashlight, and don't bother telling the owner who, by the way, just happens to be lurking outside the window of his own house.

55) When you are 7 years old and your mom is no longer around, you don't ask questions like "where's mom?". (scene in the restaurant)

56) the police can now determine the street location of a computer based on an SD card that was plugged into it.

57) Serial killers will turn themselves in to the police because they crave good conversation.

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[–] atticusjackson 16 years ago

My thoughts exactly. Annette Richardson is the worst psychologist ever.

-K-

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[–] Mandy_Whitsands 15 years ago

51) --> LMAO !!

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[–] eh-earle 15 years ago

When going back to a crime scene to look for clues, police do it in the middle of the night with a flashlight

THIS pisses me off. It happens SO OFTEN in forensic drama/thriller/action movies/tv series (CSI = major culprit) that I was beginning to think that there must be a logical reason that they are ALWAYS poking around in the pitch dark with a heavy-ass looking torch! It's never those powerful ones with a handle that carry a 5 volt battery, either...always the cylindrical ones made of metal that must be awkward as hell to hold, and weigh a tonne and start to fail on you after about 4 hours. AWESOME posts tho btw, I come here and re-read these when I'm feeling low. Makes me laugh every time. (God, I need a life.)

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[–] juandita4 16 years ago

#108) A great detective who picks on everything will fail to see the huge timer on the elevator surveillance video and will ask someone who looks exactly like Moby "okay what time was THAT"

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[–] leoan 16 years ago

#109 If you are a gay med student, you are capable of fending off an armed criminal holding a knife in front of you, by grabbing his hand with lightning speed then jabbing a metal stick to his body dodging vital organs. And tell the criminal his vital organs were not struck, and he will live, right before running away.

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[–] thug_thug 16 years ago

(40-49 was completely ignored for some reason, therefore '110' things learnt makes sense, I guess. The one about absolutely no police outside the building to capture the computer techie was already said, so...)

#110) Downtown Toronto, with shots of obviously iconic Toronto elements such as the Eaton Centre, the Gardiner Expressway, a Queen St. sign, and the skyline with the Bank of Montreal building, can easily double for whichever American city (Chicago?) The Horsemen takes place in.

Actually, I have two more:

#111) Apparently XD cards can locate anyone using an IP address, something the computer techie apparently messed up on, yet there is absolutely no way that a professional forensic computer examiner could figure out who opened a popular website with thousands of visitors using the website's own IP address.

#112) Painting every square inch of your room white leaves no smell for your father to pick up on when he enters your neck of the house to take a shower.

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[–] darthmanvee 16 years ago

*113 - The psychokid is gonna give you a chance til the last minute, son you can pay attention to him. Never miss a Wings game with your child! Someone is going down, if you do!

*114 - A hug, its all that a serial killer needs...

*115 - There´s evil in Zhang Ziyi, like there´s evil on Casper, The Friendly Ghost.

*116 - Jonas should really stay on the video clip business, only.

*117 - Every last one of this flicks, should be subtitled "Another Se7en Wannabe Movie"

*118 - Internet forums, such as this one right here, might end up in a legion of professional killers... maybe someday the´ll be a movio about "100 Things i learnt from killing"... who knows!

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[–] albertflasher 16 years ago

36) That after reading these 35 things, it will probably be more entertaining to read the movie summary on Wikipedia.

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[–] torresww 15 years ago

#36) The Met security reeeeally sucks

#37) And its power bill must be pretty stiff, with all the lights on everytime.

#38) Catholic priest from every parrish are required to know arcane interpretations of every symbolism in the bible.

#39) Also, they are obligated to share even the more controversial interpretations (such as Jesus being the fourth horsemen) with every member of their flock, even when that bit of information is totally useless.

#40) The use of the words 'IP', 'CO' and 'geolocate' in the same sentence allows you to perform any impossible computer feat required to advance the plot.

#41) When raiding the den of a suspected murderer, it's best not to leave anyone guarding outside. And, by all means, always use the long way in.

#42) Google sucks. It's faster just to try to look in the temp directories of a half burnt hard drive.

#43) Regardless of how smart you are, and how fiendishly clever are your plans, the last and most important one will have a really dumb flaw.

#44) When trapped next to your dying son, you need to wait until he is just on the verge to really try to free yourself.

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[–] GuineaPig 15 years ago

#36) If the police finds a guy hanging on hooks they take him down and question him right away. Taking the hooks off or taking him to the hospital can be done later.
#37) When the police enters the house of a murder victim they don't search the closets. And if you happen to find someone tied and bruised in a closed by chance you just forget about him/her for the rest of the investigation.
#38) A detective's work is to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week looking at the some pictures over and over.
#39) Dennis Quaid needs a better agent.

This is not a signature!

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[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] BigGaloot 14 years ago

#36 When the killer tells you there are only going to be four killings and there are four people dead, the police chief should take them at their
word and have his lead detective move on to something else.

#37 A seven year old will find his older brother's white painted room so uninteresting he will never mention it in three years.

What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?

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[–] rivethead808 14 years ago

#37 A seven year old will find his older brother's white painted room so uninteresting he will never mention it in three years.

Ive been waiting the entire time for someone to mention this (or I would have)

http://www.imdb.com/list/coi2SOsZMPI/ - Favorite Films Of Every Year 1900-present

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[–] cameronc-865-261299 9 years ago

You'd think that would smell up the house and all the way to the driveway

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[–] King_777 16 years ago

#11) Because of the poor economy, the price of complex suspension torture equipment has gone down dramatically so it would be no problem for say... a few kids to purchase 4 of them.

#11b) the going rate of 20$ to ditch your kid is too high

and...
#109 - If your movie is up to its eyeballs in plot holes, you will be able to name one of your characters "Stingray" and no one will question it.

(best one ever)

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[–] eh-earle 12 years ago

#11b) the going rate of 20$ to ditch your kid is too high

Since the kid became a serial killer in the end, I would have thought that meanst it was too LOW for the purpose it was intended.

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[–] alidede 16 years ago

#58) When you are seven and found your father's investigation pictures like creepy sentences written in blood, you don't freak out but help your cop father with the case...

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[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] jedilr 16 years ago

#59) First thing to do, after you find out who was a co-murderer in serial killings case is to go and victoriously announce it to another co-murderer in jail.
#60) Best way to get information out of tattoo shop owner, is to get mad at him and threat him.

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[–] chilledmail 16 years ago

#61 If your boss has a new assignment for you but your engaged in something else, shouting "the four horsemen of the apocalypse were sent here to initiate hell on earth and it's happening to tomorrow", is sure to make him see things your way.

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[–] justagirl_17 16 years ago

*62 As a cop you have no time of what so ever.
*63 Talking to a child who just lost her mother is more important then talking to you own son.
*64 When you are making a movie about the 4 horsemen there is no need to do any research. You can just make the 4th horsemen mysterious.

Omnes una manet nox et calcanda semel via leti

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[–] Hybridial84 16 years ago

#65 If you cry in a restaurant. The criminal-looking customer will try to mug you.
#66 If you have enough drugs in your body you can almost cut your own heart out.

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[–] rkm-11 16 years ago

#67 On a Serial Killer murder case local police doesn't check the room properly, so there can be a woman in a cupboard.

#68 Serial Killers have a radar system to detect detectives behind glass.

“True modesty is the source of all virtues.”

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[–] Leparsdon 16 years ago

#69 Repeatedly having scenes where the husband woefully looks at the same headshot of his wife, is supposed to make us care that she's dead
#70 Being adopted from a foreign country and being raised having anything you'll ever want, makes you into a serial killer

\|||/
(o o)
----ooO-(_)-Ooo------
Leparsdon

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[–] Eintracht 16 years ago

#71 It's a privilege for cops to break into a church at night to do some griefing stuff.

#72 Mourning scenes of at least 1 minute should contain a shot of an empty church for 10-15 seconds to let the audience think of their last attendance at an funeral.

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[–] Nikki426 16 years ago

in response to:
*64 When you are making a movie about the 4 horsemen there is no need to do any research. You can just make the 4th horsemen mysterious.

~ummmm.... there were 4 horsemen.... they killled one, remember?

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[–] previn123 12 years ago

in response to:
*64 When you are making a movie about the 4 horsemen there is no need to do any research. You can just make the 4th horsemen mysterious.

~ummmm.... there were 4 horsemen.... they killled one, remember

no I think the poster was talking about how they leave of the name of the final horsemen (which should be famine)

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[–] pb_kevin 16 years ago

If you cut your heart in two.. that's probably because you're gay

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[–] SuperMylo64 16 years ago

#73 When your about to raid an apartment with a suspect inside, don't bother to station any police outside the fire escape, chances are the suspect wont try to flee in that direction.

#74 10-stone sopping wet troubled teenagers with meat skewers are the "ultimate bad-assess", they have no fear of hardened career criminals or veteran police officers and can dispatch them with ease.

#75 Its common practice within the police force to carry crucial forensic evidence around in your pocket and throw it across desks, regardless of the fact that its organic matter AND should be safely stored in a temperature controlled environment. (When it comes to trial, you can bet the defence counsel will let that one slide!)

#76 The thing you're tied to, will break, but only after its too late to help.

#77 It's standard police procedure to interview recently bereaved family members in front of their relatives mutilated corpse.

#78 Dennis Quaid should know better.

#79 HE REALLY SHOULD!

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] TheHippopotamus 16 years ago

#81 - When your fellow detective has no purpose other than to fill in the main characters train of thought, don't even bother naming him, just give him a nickname based on a sea creature, and never explain why he goes by that.

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[–] mats_king 16 years ago

#82 - Dogs will bark at teeth

#83 - Police investigators will miss notes on their own fridges

#84 - Murderers will get upset when their police-fathers can`t go to the game cuz of the dead bodies they and their friends are leaving behind

#85 - You will still think a girl is sweet after she kills her mother

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[–] cdx873v 16 years ago

#86 - Chopping down a huge oak tree only requires a big axe and a sled. it's not as heavy as one would think.

#87 - Being by yourself and your dog, in the middle of nowhere, finding a pedestal on a frozen lake with a dinner plate, weird *beep* written in four directions, doesn't scare you in any way. you just approach it and have a look.

#88 - If you meet your wife in a theater, you will forever have a key to that place after it's closed down.

#89 - No one will break in to a closed down theater in min condition and trash it if you lock it with a "diary lock"-sized padlock.

#90 - Police investigators are a totalitarian authority with real time access to every IP address in the country and it's direct location. computers are fantastic machines!

#91 - All your, recently deceased, wives possessions can fit in a box in the closet. all she did for (at least) 7 years was reading the bible.

#92 - That Chinese girl looks like Jet Li in certain angles. like when shes hugging the main character at one point.

#93 - workaholic cops have no routine or training. you can easily sneak up on them and inject drugs with a needle in their throat. He wont even try knocking you down.

#94 - Setting up cameras in different angles at a huge scene and broadcasting it online is a smal and cheap thing to accomplish. thousands of kids can watch it in real time for free. bandwidth is free. even at closed down theaters.

#95 - 9mm guns can break metal chains made for lifting really heavy stuff.

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[–] kunomasai 16 years ago

96 - It's absolutely impossible to tell a milk carton is empty until you actually attempt to pour some milk.

97 - Emo kids who attempt suicide will never succeed unless hopped up on drugs.

98 - Old, closed, broken down theaters will maintain a bit of their former glory by having pristine dust free floors regardless of the amount of time that has passed.

99 - The best place to hide from cops is the closet. They never check there.

100 - By painting the function keys (F-keys) on your laptop different colors, you can easily summon your minions at any time.

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[–] R_Villain 16 years ago

101 - Michael Jackson

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[–] Katana_Slasher 16 years ago

102- if your parents can go with you somewhere or spend some time with you ask them for $20 dlls. that'' help/replace the moment lol

theres more than flesh and blood beneath this cloak, there's an idea and ideas are bulletproof. V

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[–] Katana_Slasher 16 years ago

102- if your parents cant go with you somewhere or spend some time with you ask them for $20 dlls. that'' help/replace the moment lol

theres more than flesh and blood beneath this cloak, there's an idea and ideas are bulletproof. V

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[–] danthebaker 16 years ago

103 - If you want to ignore Famine as one of the 4 horsemen... go right ahead. Nobody will notice.

104 - All the leader of the horsemen really needs to stop the apocalypse is a hug from daddy.

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[–] aref_allee 16 years ago

105 - Dont adopt children from other countries. you might end up sleeping with them.

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[–] spunkmiester13 16 years ago

#106 Learning how to tell that a person is critically injured by hearing a "thud" over the phone and touching their neck when there is no sign of blood or other injury is a required class in odontology school.

#107 Complex torture devises can be bought on a payment plan for as little as $20.00 down.

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[–] falcon79-1 16 years ago

#108 When paramedics/police cuts down a victim hanging from hooks they don´t bother removing said hooks from the victims body until the interrogating detective gives an order.

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[–] wytsharkmedia 16 years ago

#109 - If your movie is up to its eyeballs in plot holes, you will be able to name one of your characters "Stingray" and no one will question it.

#110 - Making the scene where the SWAT team sneaks up on a suspect cool and suspenseful is not as easy as you would think.

#111 - You know the saying if 100 monkeys typed on 100 typewriters for eternity, eventually they would produce the works of Shakespeare? well, the rest of what they type is being turned into screenplays.

#112 - When making a movie, you can hire an editor to cut your footage together, or you can just throw your negative into a Quisinart and hope for the best.

#113 - If you're a hack, and you think "oh, I'll just rip-off Se7en and change around a few details, and even though everyone KNOWS i'm ripping off Se7en and only changing around a few details, people who LOVE Se7en will rent my movie anyway" you are absolutely correct.

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[–] johnny-514 16 years ago

114. If you are gay and your brother hates you because of it, the best way to punish him is to eviscerate yourself while he watches.

115. SWAT teams don't check for K-Mart style audio alarms when making a forced entry.

116. Those same $3.00 alarms can be connected to a complex burn device sure to destroy all evidence in the room- except for the one hard drive that somehow survives the 4,000F temperature.

117. Police brutality should be legal when dealing with smirking smart-ss adopted Asian children.

118. If you give you children everything they could possibly want, but fail to spend an extra ten minutes a day with them- they will become serial killers.

119. If all the rest of the kids in the country watch a psycho halfwit die after hanging himself from fish hooks while his father watches, they are sure to follow suit.

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[–] jbright23 16 years ago

120. Whiny emo kids have evolved from just killing us with crappy punk rock.

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[–] omniron 16 years ago

121. Dexter is way too popular.

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[–] moonlightsiren18 16 years ago

122. Teenagers are so touchy-feely these days.

"People are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling"

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[–] pr1mal_1 16 years ago

123. When you're a workaholic cop who does nothing but work on cases, you somehow have time to write a famous book. You choose to do that instead of spend time with your kids.

124. One of the Horsemen will volunteer to have all his teeth pulled without sedation so another Horseman can ensure his father is part of their elaborate plot.

125. The computer expert Horseman can inexplicably hack the security system of a hotel and erase 10 seconds of incriminating footage. The investigating detective will not try to find out how but instead remark at their impeccably precise timing arriving and departing.

126. The Horsemen will plant a computer chip clue that leads to their base of operations but for some reason will be caught off guard when the police arrive. It is only at this point that they destroy the incriminating evidence, not before hand to ensure the success of their plot.

127. There are absolutely no witnesses to 3 teenagers and a middle-aged man traveling together to very public places carrying huge suspension devices, medical tools, and video equipment.

128. Repeatedly say that the victims are 4 offerings to the 4 Horsemen. So when a Horseman commits suicide, they are offering themselves to...themselves.

129. If you have brutally slain your mom and removed the unborn child from her womb, you will show it to the police and voluntarily turn yourself in so you can spend the rest of your life in prison. You do this so you can toy with the lead detective.

130. Serial killers apparently meet at therapy sessions (or therapy waiting rooms?)

Kid 1: Hi.
Kid 2: Hi.
Kid 1: My Dad sucks.
Kid 2: Mine does too!
Kid 1: Let's make them pay.
Kid 2: k.

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[–] bdayton94 16 years ago

123. Swat/Police don't secure the perimeter anymore they just pursue the suspect and assume he wouldn't be crazy enough to try to get away through the fire escape

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[–] rhinocerosfive-1 16 years ago

124. If you want a career as a screenwriter, watching bad serial killer movies is a good substitute for learning to write.

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[–] rhinocerosfive-1 16 years ago

125. If you adopt a Chinese orphan, she'll still be living with you when she's thirty.

126. Paul Dooley looks remarkably hale for a man who looked like he had maybe ten years in him twenty five years ago.

127. Dennis Quaid died many years ago, about the time Meg Ryan left him for a guy less likely to overact.

128. Zhang Ziyi needs to get out of American movies if she wants to live.

129. Jonas Akerlund should only direct movies about methamphetamines.

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[–] nerdbomber 16 years ago

130. I will no longer accept movie recommendations from Blockbuster employees who possess any or all of these qualities: frosted tips, facial piercings, a "trust-me-I-know-what-I'm-talking-about-I-work-at-Blockbuster" attitude, a pony tail, a general weird vibe.

131. Any movie claiming to be a combination of previous hits (Saw, 7even, Silence of the Lambs) mixed into one never lives up to the hype.

132. Any movie that went straight-to-DVD, went straight to DVD for a reason.

133. The most important thing learned from watching The Horsemen is..ALWAYS research your movie on IMDB before renting it! If its rated below a 6.0, just wait for it to show up in the crappy, On-Demand free movie section.

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[–] alex-2004 16 years ago

134. If your son hangs suspended and unconscious in 3 meters height with a stabbing wound, shoot at the rig to let him 'face dive' on the hard wooden floor - this will not worsen his condition.

135. If you're the author of a famous book on forensic odonthology, you have to work as an underpaid petty police detective.
(Man, try working as a dentist, if you are soooooooo interested in teeth!)

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[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] widescreenguy 15 years ago

#111 - You know the saying if 100 monkeys typed on 100 typewriters for eternity, eventually they would produce the works of Shakespeare? well, the rest of what they type is being turned into screenplays.

signed, a big fan of Shakespeare

"google it if you dont think so ...."

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[–] tjordan-2 13 years ago

#86a - . . . and when the camera returns to the dog, the sled diappears!

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[–] tanyarobin 14 years ago

I have read this whole post and laughed quite a bit, however none more than your #84. Well played, and sooooo true. Maybe that was the lame red herring, until 5 minutes later, when I knew it was him.

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[–] slimgopey 16 years ago

stop making these threads

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[–] WhatUzi 16 years ago

#137. Police captains will reassign their lead detectives on a murder case before all the members of a homicidal gang have been caught, if the gang's stated body count is reached.

#138. Emo kids are capable of stabbing themselves in the stomach, attaching fish hooks all over their own body, hoisting themselves fifteen feet high, and surviving a face-plant onto a wooden stage.

#139. If you are going to church, don't put your phone on vibrate; let it ring, take for ever to answer it, and then don't take the closest exit from the pew, but step across everyone to draw the most annoyed looks and maximize the embarrassment.

#140. Production Designers can change the color of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Pale can become green as pale is a shade and not a color: there is no dramatic reveal to walking into a room painted a pale color and saying, "We've found Pale!"

#150. Anything with Michael Bay's name at the front is likely to result in as much brain damage as a melon baller jammed up a nostril.

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[–] daveygravy 14 years ago

"#139. If you are going to church, don't put your phone on vibrate; let it ring, take for ever to answer it, and then don't take the closest exit from the pew, but step across everyone to draw the most annoyed looks and maximize the embarrassment. "

Hahaha best one yet, too funny! That scene was so bizarre!

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[–] Egause90 15 years ago

you obviously didn't learn that 'learnt' isn't a word.

i think what you are searching for is 'learned'.

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[–] AnnCognito 15 years ago

^ Yes it is.

I actually loved this movie!

But these lists cracked me up. So true.

--------
"It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard."

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[–] lordredblue 15 years ago

152. You can never get too close to your kids. You can never stay away too far from them either.
153. You should never get too close to your kids. You should never stay away too far either.
154. Reading the Christian bible can turn teenagers into serial killers.
155. Detectives don't like to enquire if a psycho young lady in custody might have any mental health issues requiring ongoing professional therapy sessions. When they do eventually discover that accidentally, it is never prudent to question the therapist. They never know anything anyways.
156. Abandoned theaters are always well connected to the electric grid. Public utility companies possess the secret of collecting bills from defunct businesses.
157. Serial killers celebrate birthdays of dead relatives.
158. $20 here, $20 there, can finance a major computer center equipped with counterintelligence hardware.
159. American Imperialism is incapable of spreading freedom, liberty and accent.
160. Avoid dating your darling student's sweet parent. It may lead to irreversible dental damage.
161. Imminent apocalypse has higher priority over a rape investigation. But only by a margin of 24 hours.

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[–] fluca 15 years ago

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/learnt

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[–] keith-659 15 years ago

162. 18 Year old girls are locked up alone in a jail cell down a really, really long hallway.
163. The Holy Bible is really a Death Manual.
164. Dennis Quaid is old enough to be these kids Grandpa, not father.
165. Be a teenage serial killer but show contempt to your father for letting your little brother see pictures of what you have done. How was he brought up!!!
166. Show apparent Paranormal abilities, i.e. Kristins psychic abilities, or Corey's Surgical skills with no further explaination. The Apocolypse Kids can just do it!

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[–] waterdrops9 14 years ago

I think that 18 year old girl deserved to be locked up in that lonely solemn jail cell. She was a cold-blooded serial killer for F's sake!

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[–] rhinocerosfive-1 15 years ago

Egause, you're obviously pretty parochial, and possess the need to correct others that defines the ill-educated. (Me, too. Obviously.) "Learnt" is a word in all English speaking countries except yours.

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[–] mamouth007 15 years ago

#167) When you are very pissed because your cop father is working too much, you become a serial killer so he will have more time to spend with you and your little brother.

#168) if you are an asian adopted teen, you WILL have sex with your stepfather.
And don't even discuss this fact, I said you WILL.

#169) Even if you don't know your mother is pregnant, it's very easy to remove a foetus from her belly by making holes in her lungs.

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[–] bjenner-3 15 years ago

170.) Spouting sufficient techno-bable allows you to re-write the rules of computer science and do here-to-fore impossible things.

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[–] smoke0 15 years ago

171.) Always assign a forensic odontologist to be lead detective in a serial murder case.

Revenge is a dish that best goes stale.

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[–] JayCeezy 15 years ago

172.) All belligerent tattoo artists have"controlled substances" in their cars.

173.) Junior high teachers dress for their Parent-Teacher meeting like they are auditioning for a Bang Bros. production.

174.) If you are the best detective, you don't have to shake hands with a patrolman who has no information, but you do have to shake hands with a priest who has information.

175.) If you are the best detective, you observe, absorb and retain all kinds of details, except in your own kitchen.

176.) When it comes to kids, $20 is a decent substitute for love in the short run and a surefire way to bring down hell on earth in the long run.

177.) Muggers are usually 40 year-old white guys just out of prison on their sixth bid, and they work alone.

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[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] les-180 15 years ago

LOL. I was just about to check this film out and came across this post... Ive not laughed so much in a long time. Are all these things based on the script of this film? Even though its rated as a really bad movie im really intrigued to see what its like now.
Do it, dont I?

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[–] dremerda99 15 years ago

Unfortunately you did not learn that learnt is not a word, it is learned.

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[–] FewPicklesShort 15 years ago

178.) Obama should cancel the military surge and just send a planeload of waifish, angst-ridden teens with a fetish for scriptual poetics to Afghanistan. They would make short work of the Taliban.

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[–] lordrosemount 15 years ago

179. If for any reason you want to be able to function quite normally with equicidal amounts of tranquilliser in your system (i.e. enough to kill a horse), become a psychopathic serial killer.

180. 179 works especially well if you're fortunate enough to be an under-sized teenager.

181. Parental abuse has its upsides: sure, you'll become a psychopath, but you'll also very likely be a genius.

182. A legion of fellow psychopaths across the world, primed and ready to launch Hell on earth against their own neglectful parents, can be dissuaded by the simple expedient of saving your son's life.

183. Should 182 fail to work out, you're not going to find out what actually happens with the parental apocalypse scheme, because the movie ends before anything else is said about it. Either way, it's probably not something to worry about.

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[–] widescreenguy 15 years ago

check this dipwad:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/learnt

"google it if you dont think so ...."

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