MovieChat Forums > Thin (2006) Discussion > It is a choice

It is a choice

posted 18 years ago by lac-21
42 replies | jump to latest

I am not bashing here but I need to point out when it comes down to it these women/ girls have a choice in their behaviors. I am not saying it is easy to undo their behaviors, however there is a CHOICE involved.
To deny there is a choice is to deny the possibility of ever becoming better because it is not something you choose to do but is something that just happens to you and you remain a "victim"
I remember clearly one of the girls talking about how she spent Christmas and her Birthday in the hospital and how that "sucked"
What she should really be saying is I made the choice to abuse my body and as a result I spent Christmas and my Birthday in the hospital
These women and girls need to change their victim mentality and realize they choose to eat or not eat to binge or to purge.

I am not being unsypathetic to them. It is a difficult situation to be in but a difficult situation that they made the coice to become involved in.

Now please don't start saying you do not understand, because I do I suffered with anorexia at the age of 11 and bulumia in my teens/20's etc. etc.
Most of these women do have underlying issues and I am not doubting that.
I suffered from extreme abuse as a child and teen and it did lead to an eating disorder, but I ultimatly made the choice to deal with my self hatred and insecurity by using food as my drug of CHOICE At the time I had really no other way of dealing with my emotions but I still made the choice to follow that path.
When did I get better..was when I finally realized this was not something happening to me it was something I was doing to myself and not using the abuse I suffered as justification for my seld destructive behaviors..
These women need to realize they are making these choices based on their own self hatred and realize that have the POWER and CHOICE to be better.

I hope they all find there way and Choose to get better

Peace...

[–] Vendboygreg 18 years ago

well said.

[–] ukfanbrooke 18 years ago

It`s additudes like this that makes this sickness continue. Whats next? You choose to be gay? You choose to be (insert your race here)? You choose to get cancer? Nice, ty for caring. Now please, STFU.

brillke

[–] JhonenV 17 years ago

Um, yeah, your argument doesn't hold. Bingeing, purging, and restricting are BEHAVIORAL things whereas getting cancer or being a certain race aren't behavorial related. If it's a behavior, then there is choice involved. You can choose to behave a certain way (i.e binging and restricting) but since you can't "behave" black or white or "cancer" to begin with, you can't choose it, so it's not the same thing.

[–] 17 years ago

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[–] Naturezrevenge 17 years ago

It's a choice...just like being morbidly obese, drug addicted, schizophrenic or severely depressed.
BTW I'm being sarcastic.
All these problems are addictions stemming from psychological and emotional trauma that the individual is obviously powerless to overcome at the moment.
Only when they address their issues will they have the strength to get well again.
Do you think anyone would choose to live those lives if they actually had a choice? It's mental illness. And nobody "chooses" that.

myspace.com/lexfulgore2

[–] Guardangel2424 18 years ago

I am 16 and am recovering from anorexia. I did not choose to have an eating disorder. I remeber just wanting to lose a few pounds over the holidays, but it went out of control. I couldn't help it. I wanted to be normal and dead at the same time. I just wanted help, and I did ask for it. I went to a therapist who sent me to a hospital. It's not a choice, it's an addiction

[–] CaramelFrappeLover 9 years ago

I remeber just wanting to lose a few pounds over the holidays, but it went out of control.

This is where you made the choice the OP is talking about.

"Nobody pushed your buzzer F'head"

[–] liscarkat (19418) 5 years ago

Bullshit. You can eat, or you can refuse to eat. It's a choice. You probably just want attention. Grow up.

[–] dogluver120 18 years ago

I disagree as a recovering anorexic myself. I was captured by it and could not control it. I didn't chose it and dind't mean for it to happen. But you really can't chose or control it. It doesn't happen like that. you can chose to get better, but you don't chose to do it in the first place. Mine started from people being really mean to me because of my weight, now i'm suffering for it, but i realize that it wasn't the answer not to eat, and i wish i hadn't done it, but it really sint' a choice, it's not something you chose to do, it happens to you, it's a disease. I understand where you're coming from, but it's much deeper than a choice, you realy can't control it.

[–] 18 years ago

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[–] JrBorch86 18 years ago

Wow. I have nothing to say...(Actually I do...but I don't feel like getting into it...), other than that the whole Cancer vs. Eating Disorder example is getting VERY old and VERY tired...

Can't people come up with some better examples?

Ciao,

Peace & Love,

Jen

*~*MoOdYJeNnY*~*

[–] 18 years ago

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[–] synchrohobbit 18 years ago

I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from, however, I don't entirely agree. Have you ever seen the movie the Lord of the Rings: Two Towers? In it there is a scene in which Gollum is having a schizophrenic
"conversation" with smeagol, and they are arguing about whether or not they should change from being the lecherous creatures to a better one. Gollum keeps saying he will be nothing without him, was never anything before him. This is VERY similar to what goes on in the mind of someone with an eating disorder (it is, after all, another mental disorder involving mis-managed chemicals in the brain). You can almost hear a voice in your head, and almost as though something else has taken over your body: you might be trying to reach for that cracker because you KNOW you have to eat to get better, and life is horrible right now, but something is stopping you. That's why people will get so upset in front of food, because there is literally a battle raging in their minds. There are very different degrees of eating disorders, so some people can get better with esentially no professional help at all. Others will die before they get better, and in that case, off to treatment centers they go. Nowadays I can't even recall at all how I could have lived without food like I did, but during it and during recovery I can remember how horribly difficult it was for me and my family. I hope that sort of answers your argument with reason.

[–] lady_lazarus-2 17 years ago

I'm not going/trying to get into an argument over this because it's one I've had far too many times before.
You make a comparison between a cancer patient being unable to make the choice to recover, whereas an anoretic can. I'm not going to contibue that analogy here because it's comparing two very different diseases. And yes, they are diseases. One of the body, one of the mind, but diseases nonetheless. Using your logic, could a person with say schizophrenia make the 'choice' to recover and bam, there you go, they're better? I highly doubt it. The same principle applies here. Symptoms manifest themselves differently, but they are both mental illnesses. A person has no more control over the severity of anorexia or the actions resulting from than any other illness.

[–] brinkley_03 18 years ago

Im sorry , it is a mental illness and a struggle constantly. you can not put blame on anyone suffering because they are not in control. sometimes it is even like riding in the backseat of a car, you can see things playing out but u can not control them, the illness controls your mind. in many cases a choice to get better is not enough. sufferers need help to do this. choices or no choices SOCIETY MUST BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THIS IS AN ILLNESS not a superficial thing silly girls do to follow popular culture.

I am not belittling your oppinion, i just believe that the state ones mind is in whilst ill is not a state that can willfully CHOOSE to change the situation. help is needed.

and no sufferer should ever feel guilt that they have supposedly done this to themselves. they area victim of a deadly mental and physical illness. I urge you all the constantly fight each second of each minute of each hour of each day. Recovery is the most disgusting and horrid feeling part, but once you get through, you will feel the best you have in your whole life. believe this even if you can not dream it to be so.

[–] ghostindrag 18 years ago

purging or not eating are choices

feeling a compulsive need to do them for whatever reason is not a choice.

[–] Guardangel2424 18 years ago

They are addictions. physical and mental addictions. So before all you people who know nothing about eating disorders post all this crap, why don't you get your facts straight. you'll never know unless you experience it.

[–] MissHorrorshow 18 years ago

Amen Guardangel!

For years I suffered from bulimia. I didn't have a choice in the matter, no more than someone with a stomach virus has a choice. I would eat, and the guilt from thinking about what I'd eaten would make me literally sick to my stomach, and away we go into a purge.

I didn't consciously go, "Ok, I've eaten all this food, now I'm going to vomit..." I'd eat, and then boom, I'd have to...well, you get the point.

I still struggle from time to time. I haven't had any treatment for it, so I can only keep it under control for so long.

I can only speak for my bulimia regarding the fact it isn't a choice, but I've spoken with many, many anorexia sufferers and they all tell me the same thing: that even though they are hungry, and their stomachs growl, they look at food and the thought of eating it repulses them. They just can't bring themselves to eat it.

A mental/emotional illness is NEVER a choice. Recovering from it is a choice, yes. But for the illness to be a choice, you are saying someone consciously goes "I want to be an anorexic" or "I want to be a bulimic" and I promise you, only in very, VERY few instances is that ever the case, and only then because of pro "Ana" and "Mia" websites and forums that make anorexia and bulimia look glamorous and like a viable option for weight-control. But anyone with a true-blue ED didn't choose it.

I think if you could live one day as someone with an ED you'd see just how horrific and miserable it is. How badly you want to stop, but the terror of what will happen when you do stop (weight gain, specifically) stands in your way.

Calling ED a choice just helps those who are truly responsible for the rise in ana-mia cases (the media bearing the brunt of the responsibility) an out and thus nothing is done to lessen the cases.

[–] F6Pilot 18 years ago

Calling ED a choice just helps those who are truly responsible for the rise in ana-mia cases (the media bearing the brunt of the responsibility) an out and thus nothing is done to lessen the cases.

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So we should blame everyone except the people deciding not to eat????

Makes $.00

[–] IridescentTranquility 18 years ago

I agree also. I don't think it's a choice to have an eating disorder, more it's a response to some kind of stress or pressure around you. I've heard (and experienced myself) that anorexia, bulimia and the other disorders are often a way, sometimes the only way, a sufferer can express this. If you feel you can't control what is going on around you, you find a part of your life that you can control and one of the most basic of these is how much food goes into your body.

I can remember myself these nightmare Sunday lunchtimes when we were all at home when I didn't want to eat what was on the plate in front of me - it used to feel like a mountain of food to me. And like you say, phreekerchickie, even when you're stick thin and you're stomach is growling and you can't sleep or relax because you're so hungry yet you don't have the energy to do anything, your head is still saying "I don't want this food" even when your body is desperate for it.

"If we go on like this, you're going to turn into an Alsatian again."

[–] m2m_cool2002-1 18 years ago

Exactly.

So, according to some people here, no mental disorders would exist. Because it is a choice to believe you're two people at the same time. Or to feel no need to do anything. Hmmm... I don't think so.
Anorexia and bulimia are mental disorders. It's not a choice. Of course, eating or not, purging or not, are choices. But feeling the need to do them are not, just like ghostindrag said.

Do you really think that I LOVE the feeling I get after purging? Pff there's nothing that can beat eyes swollen, puke breath and the fear that someone heard me. SUCH A HIGH.
I'm being sarcastic, for the people that didn't get it.

I do respect opinions, and I think that the person who posted this originally made a good point, so none of that is meant for him/her. I still disagree, but I respect your opinion. Still, some other people made ignorant comments and this is adressed to them.

Keep in mind that I don't like replying or starting fights, but I had to say this.

[–] Mister_B_Natural 18 years ago

I have a very odd eating disorder. I choose to purge, I'm not denying it. No one but the sufferer can inflict the disorder upon themselves. The definition of anorexia nervosa is "nervous aversion to eating." Even if you're nervous, people do things. Like class projects. You may be nervous about them, but you still do them. It IS a choice whether to starve or purge, or even to overeat. all it takes is want power. It depends on how much you don't WANT to eat/puke/starve.

Like with cutting. No one is forcing you to cut yourself. You're cutting yourself to relive the pain. You don't NEED to, it just makes you feel better. It's not like you'll die if you don't.

Song: I remember when I moved in you, and the holy dove was moving, too-
Me: wtf?

[–] hodie 17 years ago

<Like with cutting. No one is forcing you to cut yourself. You're cutting yourself to relieve the pain. You don't NEED to, it just makes you feel better. It's not like you'll die if you don't. >

That is the best example I've heard. Now I get it. Thank you.

God save Donald Duck, vaudeville and variety

[–] 17 years ago

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[–] Tracey73 11 years ago

all it takes is want power.

Wrong. Whether it is a drug/alcohol addiction, EDs, cutting, etc, most cases of these are symptoms of either a mental illness or some type of trauma that happened in one's past. No one wakes up one day and decides to starve themselves to death, binge/purge on a daily basis, stick needles in their arms, cut themselves to the point that they bleed and have to hide the wounds, etc.

Once someone hits their bottom (whether it's overdosing, jail, ending up getting fed through a tube, hospitalization, getting treated for mental illness, etc) and is able to address the underlying issue, then it becomes easier to recover. This is when that person is given the tools to help cope with their illness.

I am just astounded by the ignorant comments (not meaning that as an insult) that people have made on this board. I have suffered both EDs (bouts of anorexia, bulimia, and exercise bulimia) and addiction (opiates). These began as a result of a mixture of my personality (very sensitive - had an aunt repeatedly telling me I needed to lose weight when I was young; mom tricked me into going to doctor for "insurance reasons" and instead it was for my weight - mind you, I was in no way overweight.

These were very humiliating experiences). For some people, they can allow insults and mean comments to go in one ear and out the other. But for me being thin equaled love. Thin equaled perfection and I was quite the perfectionist. Also, a result of trauma (something happened when I was young that was not my fault though I blamed myself); and mainly a result of an underlying mental illness (depression, post-partum depression, and bipolar disorder).

My bottoming out was when I accidentally overdosed and ended up in ICU. I was then transferred to a psychiatric center for 10 days, where I was properly diagnosed with a mental illness and began treatment. This was in Sept 2001. I have been clean and sober and eating properly since then. It has been a struggle at times. This is when I use the skills I learned to help cope with the stresses and mood swings that happen in my life.

No, I did not wake up one day and decide I wanted to become anorexic or bulimic or addicted to drugs. Both were something that I began quite innocently. I decided I wanted to lose weight. But, much like addiction, it took over my life and spiraled out of control. The same with my addiction to opiates. I self-medicated here and there with opiates because they helped my mood swings. I felt amazing while I was on them. Then, it slowly took over my life, again, until it spiraled out of control. For me, addiction, EDs, and mental illness go together.

These were never choices. These were never about will power or want power. If I could go back in time and take away the pain I caused my loved ones, I would. If I could go back in time and never get the taste of an opiate, I would. If I could go back in time and never get the taste of how being thin gave me a certain power over my life and an almost euphoric feeling, I would. Most, if not all, do not choose to be so self-destructive that they feel like *beep* 24/7.

if you're bitter still, ask Him to help you carry on ~ Blue October

[–] cookiela2001 10 years ago

The definition of anorexia nervosa is "nervous aversion to eating"...It IS a choice whether to starve or purge, or even to overeat...Like with cutting. No one is forcing you to cut yourself. You're cutting yourself to relive the pain. You don't NEED to, it just makes you feel better. It's not like you'll die if you don't.

I do basically agree with this (and I'm really glad you're personally getting better)

I understand that recovery groups can be key to addicts of all types changing their behavior...but the truth is, no one has held a gun to someone's head and forced them to down a glass of gin, or stick a needle in their arm, or their finger down their throat.

Some addicts quit their sick behaviors while they're pregnant, for example. They WANT to insure their growing child's health more than they WANT the satisfaction of hurting themselves.

The thing that makes me mad and sad about eating disorders is it's not like it's some exotic mystery illness with some super expensive or unknown medicine. It's called a normal meal. It's in front of you. Eat it, and stop making problems for yourself and those around you.

.

[–] filmgal14 18 years ago

Not for one second do I believe that you suffered from an eating disorder.

Eating disorders are mental diseases - quite often the sufferer does not even realise what he/she was doing.

An anorexic can pick up a fork and start eating, just as someone suffering from depression can smile and laugh. On the outside, everybody is glad - the sufferer has chosen to beat their little "phase" and everything is how it was again.

EXCEPT...the sufferer has not necessarily been cured on the inside. Just as while a depressive can smile, but still be suicidal on the inside, a recovering anorexic can eat the food, but still feel physically disgusted by it.

I chose to surrender myself to recovery because I could no longer bear the pain I was causing my family. But while I do eat now, I am in no way recovered. The very presence on this board proves that. I am still obsessed with weight, with thinness, with seeing other people with anorexia. While I smile on the outside and pretend to be comfortable with food, I am not recovered, and no matter how much I choose, I very much doubt I ever will.

[–] Mister_B_Natural 18 years ago

Some eating disordered people don't hate food. They hate themselves. And they have to starve away the pain, the way some people drink away the pain, cut away the pain, because they are trying to change themselves.

And if they hate food, why would they obsess over it like they do? They hate the RESULT of food (fat, weight gain). They love food.

Have you ever read "Wasted" by Marya Hornbacher? That might give you a better idea of what I'm talking about. I'll admit I was wrong about the choice factor of the disorder, but I believe the poster was talking about the symptoms. Not the mental part.

And yes, I do have an eating disorder. I am fat, and I hate myself for it. I have self-injured, I have depression and anxiety disorders. I do not see anorexia and bulimia or EDNOS as cute, quick-fix diets, I do not see people who suffer from them as mentaly healthy and happy people. I see it as control. I see it as a boundry seperating me from bleeding into the rest of the world. I do not think I am healthy. But my actions are my choice. How I feel about them is not.

And eating disorders are also greatly influenced by the media. It's not just biological. Do you think for one minute that if thinness was not so greatly valued in our society that people would pursue it with such persistance? If this were the middle ages where normal sizes were considared the epitemy of feminine beauty, would so many people worship the boyish frame that the models have? While some might, if they personally though that thinness was equal to beauty, they might. And the saints who thought that God was telling them to starve, do you think they were trying to perfect themselves physically, or were they trying to achive holiness through starvation?

If muscles were valued in women as much as thinness, the people with anorexia would be inclined to lift weights and do pushups until they faint. What they are trying to achive is perfection in their own and other's eyes, hoping that if their body's perfect, they will be perfect.

Of course, when it gets to be an addiction, a habit, that's when things get scary. That's when the voice sneaks in, telling you that you have to run just one more lap, fast one more day, get down to your goal weight, telling you that once you accomplish that, you can stop. Of course, it won't because surely you can go a little bit longer, try just a bit harder. That's the part that refuses to leave.

I have tried recovery. of course it lasted about two days, and then I have an identity crisis and go back to binging/purging/restricting/fasting.

Song: I remember when I moved in you, and the holy dove was moving, too-
Me: wtf?

[–] dirt_is_temporary 17 years ago

choices generally go with some rationale. When people have an addiction they have absolutely no normal rationality left.

choices also go with some sort of control. When people have an addiction they feel so out of control they don't even know what a choice is.

[–] mmkty815 17 years ago

It starts as a choice.
Then you get used to it.
Then you can't get by without doing it.

I used to cut myself. I CHOSE to start cutting.
Then it got to a point where it was the only thing that got me through the day.
And then it was no longer a choice.
And that's when it becomes a disease.
You get used to the adrenaline release and how it chemical changes your body.
Obviously, there is an underlying issue that causes someone to hurt their own body in such a way, and cutting or EDs start out as just a symptom of your depression or abuse or whatever.
Then it becomes a whole new problem in itself.

It is a disease. I will give you that.
But something else is wrong when you decide to purposely hurt yourself whether it be drugs or alcohol or cutting or EDs.

And this whole "I can't be helped until I want help" is true. But someone is insane if they're just going to let you continue hurting yourself until you decide you're ready for treatment.

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[–] Tracey73 11 years ago

And yes, I do have an eating disorder. I am fat, and I hate myself for it. I have self-injured, I have depression and anxiety disorders. I do not see anorexia and bulimia or EDNOS as cute, quick-fix diets, I do not see people who suffer from them as mentaly healthy and happy people. I see it as control. I see it as a boundry seperating me from bleeding into the rest of the world. I do not think I am healthy. But my actions are my choice. How I feel about them is not.

Your actions are symptoms of something much bigger (depression and anxiety disorders). I realize your post is old, but I hope you are getting help because you deserve to be happy and healthy. Please know that recovery is possible. Sending you hugs for the beautiful person you are.

if you're bitter still, ask Him to help you carry on ~ Blue October

[–] butterflymetamorfose 17 years ago

I agree with the original poster

My health is too much important for me, I'm thin, I'm healthy, I never did any diet, actually I don't practice any sports but I used to when I was younger. Thanks to my genetics, the foods I eat, strong mind, family, body type...

Something I noticed in the anorexic and bulimic girls
They gived up of their health, they didn't tried to lose a little bit of weight with medical support or ask to a doctor if to lose weight could be good for them, they didn't cared any little bit about themselves and about their families, they don't want to heal because they don't see any problem, they don't eat because they don't want to for few reasons, they all seen very conscious about what was going on but at the same time they didn't want to accept the reality, they didn't accept the facts, they see themselves as fat when they aren't, they see faults in themselves where isn't a single one

That girl with red hair now I forgot her name, she definetely chose to be more thin and she knew about her sickness, she knew pretty well what wanted...She was just 15 years old, at this age a girl can do decisions and choices

What makes a girl decide to lose so much weight and become sick? Fear of get fat, fear of her beloved ones rejection, self-rejection, fear of eat healthy food not just crap, pressure from the media on girls who are weak minded, being bullied by stupid people

Every girl should ask herself this question: "Can I do it to myself? Is it worth my life?"
Very sad to see a girl ruining her own life just to be skinnier

To the poster who did these questions:
"How somebody can chose to be anorexic or bulimic? So somebody with cancer decided to get cancer?"
You probably don't know all the kinds of active cancer, few of them doctors can determine the possible causes and other few they still are trying to figure out what are the causes, there is so much behind cancer that I can't discuss about it now and here
If I believe a girl decides to be bulimic and anorexic yes I do
The same way I believe a drugs addict decide to use drugs

If now I simply decided to lose too much weight until the point to get sick with all the knowledgement I have, it is my choice, is not inside of me