MovieChat Forums > Juno (2007) Discussion > I couldn't stand vanessa I don't blame m...

I couldn't stand vanessa I don't blame mark for leaving.

posted 11 years ago by therosemcgowan
16 replies | jump to latest

I found vanessa incredibly annoying and overbearing and controling. I understand her being nervous about the adoption but it seemed to me that in her mind everything had to be perfect and just so like she was putting on a show to get a baby. Mark liked juno because she liked what he liked and didn't think what he liked was stupid and childish like I got the impression vanessa did and juno was herself she wasnt pretending to be someone shes not. I'm also suprised vanessa couldn't see her behavior was pushing mark away.

[–] spookyrat1 11 years ago

I found vanessa incredibly annoying and overbearing and controling. I understand her being nervous about the adoption but it seemed to me that in her mind everything had to be perfect

I didn't, but I agree that she probably was a perfectionist.

It was clear that she wanted a child and wanted to create a perfectly supportive environment for that child, a belief that Juno ultimately subscribed too as well.

I liked the scene in the mall where she kneels and talks to the baby at Juno's suggestion.

May be she is a control freak (I don't think so), but I think the kid will get a lot of loving from Vanessa.

[–] therosemcgowan 11 years ago

Spooky I agree she'd be a good mom I just didn't like the character and felt she and mark were not suited for eachother at all. I also loved the scene in the mall it was touching.

[–] alliemack30 10 years ago

I definitely didn't think Vanessa and Mark were suited for each other at this point in their lives, but there may have been something when they were younger that they had it common. I think the issue is that Vanessa grew up, and Mark didn't. He viewed their relationship and future family as a "time bomb" that would end his fun, and not the intended destination like Vanessa did.

I found Vanessa annoying at the start of the movie, but she grew on me and eventually I liked her and hated Mark. She was always very straightforward with what she wanted out of her life and their relationship, while Mark was the one who hid his feelings about not wanting to be a dad and not wanting to be with her. Maybe she had been single minded and this contributed to their marriage falling apart, but she had never lied or strung him along. The scene where she is playing with the little girl in the mall and touching Juno's belly (and her right away wanting to comfort Juno in the kitchen when she is crying) are the ones that really made me love her.

[–] shred-com 10 years ago

I kinda got the sense that part of Vanessa wasn't in love with Mark anymore either, and I think it's best they ended their relationship before the baby was born.

[–] forthesafetyofpuppies 10 years ago

I think the issue is that Vanessa grew up, and Mark didn't.

Personally, I hate this commonly accepted notion that "growing up" and having a child are somehow synonymous. Mark had "grown up". He was independent and had a job that supported him. Having interests and a sense of humour doesn't indicate you haven't "grown up". Not everybody wants, needs, or should have kids. I don't know why it's some mad social pressure that it's just what you do. Admittedly, Mark should have realised this and articulated his wants earlier.

But yeah, I did find Vanessa controlling and she didn't seem to respect Mark or his interests/desires. So what if he wanted to pursue being a "rock star"? There's nothing childish about pursuing your interests/dreams. But you never really know what secret baggage a relationship has attached. Maybe Mark had flirted with younger girls before.

His interaction with Juno in the basement did have some American Beauty vibes to it.

___
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qssvnjj5Moo

[–] asmomo 9 years ago

I think you should have kids while staying young and fun in mind and activities. Life isn't about becoming dull and average, what's the point of that ? Will your children love you more if you're doing everything right for them, and nothing for yourself ?

[–] Sadess 9 years ago

I wasn't all that keen on Vanessa either, at the start of the film I found her incredibly annoying, such a perfectionist and so serious all of the time (although she has perfectly good reason to be both of those things given her current situation.)
However as the film goes on my attitude to Mark and Vanessa flips, I liked Mark up until he decided to leave his wife (and also gets a tad weird with Juno) and Vanessa really grows on you. That particular scene where Juno has just found out that Mark is leaving, and has come downstairs crying only to come face to face with Vanessa. She tries to hide her tears, and Mark tries to lie but Vanessa immediately knows its something Mark did, 'what did you do?' Thats when I started to like Vanessa, and I think she was genuinely lovely person, it was just hard to see because of some of he bad things that have happened to her.
The funny thing is that Juno herself probably thought similar to the way we did, she instantly thought Mark was really cool, she liked the fact he liked the same music/movies as her, and she sort of just forgot about Vanessa. Her mind changed, like mine did, when she saw which one of them truly cared about her and her baby
Although M and V were DEFINITELY not suited as a couple, they couldn't have been any more different.

[–] GirlwonderReturns 9 years ago

Mark was a creep. A married (happily or not, makes no difference) guy who is pushing 40 hitting on a pregnant teenager? He's an adult, she's a kid. I have known guys like Mark - the guy edging into his 40's who still thinks he's gonna be a rock star someday. It's sad and it's pathetic. And if he knew he didn't want children (or at least wasn't ready for fatherhood), he should have told his wife long before he did. I found Vanessa annoying at first too, and I can see that they didn't seem to have much in common, but she is much easier to forgive than he is.

The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it.

[–] sbirdconliff 9 years ago

I agree with GirlwonderReturns. I have two good friends who were both in this sort of situation and ended up without any children because their spouses played this game for so long. They finally divorced but the women remained, sadly, childless. One of the guys finally had kids with a much younger woman- a choice he still had.

[–] Fefu38 9 years ago

Vanessa grew on me as the movie went on, and Mark definitely turned into a jerk, but I somewhat agree with you. I always thought that Vanessa and Mark could've made it if they both compromised a little.

For example, did they have to live out in the burbs in a McMansion? Why couldn't they live in a funkier neighborhood like where Juno's and Bleeker's families lived? They could have found some alternatives so they both could've been happy. There are plenty of people out there who have kids and live creative, interesting lives.

[–] Olahn 9 years ago

Mark basically was still too selfish, it's not a bad thing or a bad trait for any individuals, but in marriage there is always a compromise. Some marriage, 100% individualism can work, but in most, both individuals have to give up something to make their unity work.

I think Mark wanted his freedom and the ability to make decisions on himself. Vanessa in the other hand is a perfectionist, but was willing to work harder to help the marriage.

There's no right or wrong, its just perspective and priorities for individuals at the time.

[–] simbatopcat 9 years ago

I believe in real life the kid would have been miserable feeling he could never measure up living with a mom that has to have everything perfect what a horrible life.

[–] intelligentsupermodel 8 years ago

Juno's kid could have done a lot worse than Vanessa. Like other posters have said, she was successful, stable, straightforward, and wanted that baby more than anything in the world. She loved him before he was born. She would keep him healthy, safe, and he would never question whether he was wanted (by Vanessa). The way Vanessa reacted when Mark left her...she was devastated, but she didn't scream, yell, or throw things. She was very grown up about it, even though she was hurting. I think she'd be a great mom.

[–] AndrewGS 8 years ago

Vanessa was pretty annoying and controlling but Mark was at the least pretty sleazy, they probably deserved each other and probably deserved to break up too.

[–] d-54631 8 years ago

I loved Vanessa, she was about the only realistic character in this ultra-cool, ultra-hipster, one-liner quip fest. The main reason I loved her is that she, like I, couldn't stand Juno with her smart @$$, rude attitude towards everybody.