Pretty simple game, tell what you learned after watching this movie. I'll start-
-Ex para-military guys like to play chess in the middle of the wilderness on their laptops.
-Climbing down a sheer cliff in driving rain is possible, just do it carefully.
-When you're hiking in the wilderness with your son, proceed to take into custody a potentially very dangerous convict.
-Snipers are terrible shots.
- If you crash in a helicopter, don't worry, you'll get out of it just fine.
- Don't worry when hitmen kidnap your son, he'll happily reunite you both and guarantee your protection thereafter.
- Never talk on your cellphone while driving because if you look away for a split second you'll suddenly swerve all the way into the other lane and crash into oncoming traffic.
-When climbing down a cliff in the rain, do not worry, there will be a conveniently placed cave for you to rest in.
-If your son happens to fall during the descent have no fear, a convict will surely save him.
-If you're hiking in the wilderness, there will definitely be a naked woman bathing in the river.
-If you're a contract killer you need a team with at least one tracker trained by aboriginals.
-All military personnel are trained on flying helicopters.
-If you're hoping to find the nearest highway to turn in a convict, make sure you do not simply go back the way you came, but use an intricate path that contains an extremely steep cliff and miles of woods. It's probably the best way.
-If you need to navigate through miles of wilderness, follow your boy scout 15 year old son, of course he knows the way.
-If you come across a gorge of glacial rocks, a very unstable wooden bridge with no handrails will definitely be available.
-If you are camping with your wife in the woods, you must be a total pansy.
-If you someone is sticking a sniper rifle out of a plane, and a team of contract killers are on your tail, assume they wont shoot at any of you.
-Mercenaries do not know how to fire automatic rifles accurately like a gym teacher ex cop.
-A helicopters aluminum tail will snap on contact with a tree.
-Expect all assassins to be consoling when your husband is shot by people trying to rescue the assassin.
-When you get tired from hiking, just keep going, there will be a log cabin for you to rest in, with no locks or people inside.
-If you see a video with a log cabin, assume that the people that you are searching for are inside.
-Contract killers will make surprise visits to high ranking officials warning them not to harm the people who held him/her captive.
- It's very easy to hike around mountain ranges, primarily with handcuffs on...
- Water in glacial vallys is warm enough to swim long distances in...
- You can easily track people after violent rainstorms...
- 5 ex-military personnel are no match for an ex-cop and his 1 previous campout kid...
- hick cops are brilliant and love to serve goverment agents morning-pasties...
- asassians love to save falling smart-ass teenagers whoses fathers are holding them at gun point...
14 - Cars float.
15 - When a thug says he doesn't know how to fly a helicopter, he's only kidding.
- when your boyfriend gets shot, you cry 5 seconds and then you just jump the next guy you see
- if you're a dc top funcion, you dress up as a nurse sometimes
- ex militairy guys suck at chess
- ex militairy guys will shoot randomly at a house, even with the person they're trying to rescue inside
man this post is the only good thing coming from this movie
He was not a thug. They were supposed to be ex-military.
share- Profesional soldiers listens to their Ipods during mission.
- Profesional soldiers has a standard procedure of blasting away all their ammo blindly into a cabin and then aproach with just a knife.
- If you plan on descending down a steep rock cliff in a downpour of rain, ignore the fact that you have clearly visible rope tied to your pack and go down bare-handed
- If you are a criminal held at gun point by a gym teacher with a hand gun and your ex-military heavily armed friends are nearby, don't yell to them for help 'cause he's liekly capable of shooting you and your friends dead all while protecting his son before they could do anything about it
- Sometimes after a girl breaks up with a guy she thinks it's a good idea to go swimming naked with him to help him get over her
- If you are a cop in a helicopter and your partner gets out and is stabbed by two armed criminals, the smartest thing to do is to jump out with no weapon and run toward the killers
- If a previously good director needs some cash, he'll take on any pile that he steps upon and use his conections to con a couple of reputable actors into joining the cast so people (such as myself) will be conned into renting it
- If you're an ex-military contract killer, when asked you tell your captors your real name.
- When transporting an ex-military contract killer, make sure you do so in a lone sedan.
- While transporting an ex-military contract killer, assume that the roadblock is legitimate.
- When you're a traitor on your team of mercenaries, attempt to give yourself away when you're trapped in a helicopter with your fellow mercenaries, by attempting to shoot your mercenary leader.
- When you're a ruthless female higher-up in government, make sure to use your own cellphone and be sure to order the killing of a child in easy to understand English. Also be sure to mention the possible connection of illegal actions to the president.
- Make sure the other black guy on your mercenary team fits the all common stereotypes.
- When your struggle in a sinking car results in the shooting of your adversary, be sure to pull his dead weight out to save his life, even though you were just trying to kill him - instead of trying to save your own handcuffed ass as quickly as possible.
- Carry out your contract to kill billionaire wingnut even though the window for the contract has expired.
- Make a movie about a contract killing ordered by those who are pro stem cell research.
- Make sure to go through a national park which has apparently no wildlife.
- If you're an older black contract killer, make sure to transport young white kidnapped boy and check into a hotel completely unnoticed.
- In order to draw your target out into the open, be sure to kill the target's son, because you know that the reclusive target will surely come to the funeral
- Prove that you really are a country bumpkin incompetent cop by refusing to take the call of a person who has been in the extended company of a contract killer when the message is "The president's not the target!"
- Make derogatory comments about a helicopter pilot's skill even though the chopper clearly crashed due to the damage to the tail rotor and you actually survived.
- Attempt to get into a fight and be restrained half a second after surviving a helicopter crash because a moron questions your flying skills.
ok, i'll bite:
- after breaking free from someone, be sure to kidnap the guy's son and tell him to not come after you if he wants to see his son alive when you know that the only reason why he would come after you is to save his son
- an ex-military guy is not smart enough to put another bullet into a body laying on the ground when the guy who is supposedly shot did not even utter a sound when being shot. (this happened twice. when ray was shot and when cardin used a piece of clothing to trick the other guy)
- when you are pretending to be the good guys in a helicopter and the people on the ground are waving to you to save them, instead of landing the helicopter and then kill them when they least expect it, try to shoot them while you are still in the helicopter.
- when your dad gives you a weapon and tells you to hold on to it., you would give it to a stranger just so that you can wave to a helicopter.
- if you are told to target someone, but instead target someone else, when the helicopter makes a sudden move, you will have shot your original target by accident.
- tell a contract killer your real names and your profession so that if in case he escapes, he can find you and kill you.
- when you are setting an ambush to save someone, you shoot one person at a time so that the driver has time to drive the car down the cliff instead of just shooting them all at once (or at least the driver and the guy who's out of the car)
The Park Service will build ricketing stick bridges with no hand rails in a remote forest, there is no liability in that.
You can't get cell phone service in the woods, but you can play chess on your laptop.
Your estranged boyfriend just got shot? Get over it with the new guy.
Women in government should wear pin stipe mens suits.
Once a cop, always a cop, even if you have to risk family and strangers.
It takes 5 or 6 people to kill one recluse rich guy.
If you have to kill several innoncent people in the mean time, that shouldn't effect this career you've chosen. Besides, the other 5 or 6 folks in on the contract will look out for you too.
Guns, even automatics, just aren't reliable when you need them.
That van you hid in the woods, with the body in it? It will still be there after all the search parties were looking for you, you can drive it out of there.
- The best way to begin work with a group of professional killers is to be as big a dick as possible at every opportunity.
- If you smack around a gym teacher's kid, he will unleash a Chuck Norris sized can of whoop-ass on you.
- Be sure to tell the professional hitman you are holding captive every detail of your personal life. No way in hell that could come back to haunt you.
- The President considers a powerful man that is OPPOSED to stem cell research to be an adversary.
- You can't get decent coffee in Washington state. Nor decent oranges in Florida, good lobsters in Maine, potatoes in Idaho, etc.
You can't win a baseball game without your stoned teenage son playing.
Teenagers in possession of drugs will not be arrested but rather released into their father's custody for a camping trip.
Camping trips will reform hardened drug abusers.
Maps are not necessary when entering the forest and can be left in the car.
Big trucks are commonly found on a mountain pass blocking the road with a flat tyre.
A bullet fired thru the back window of a car will miss those in the back seat in the line of fire and kill the driver.
If you are Black and a mercenary you should wear an Armani suit like puff-daddy when hunting people in the mountains.
Ponchos and night vision googles just appear out of nowhere when you need them if you are a mercenary.
If you look hard enough you will find a naked hot chick in the river in the forest.
When encountering a naked hot chick in the river in the mountains a man will question another man "What are you looking at" because it's not really obvious.
Naked hot chicks like to go camping with their Gay boyfriends.
Gay male campers with hot girlfriends must wear blue poofter neck scarfs tied BoyScout style.
When you have a Gay guy in the movie he'll get shot before anyone else.
When a helicopter goes up or down on a downdraft your rifle barrel will move sideways killing the guy beside your target.
Mercenaries can only hit targets when in a bumpy helicopter not when it is stationary.
It's always best to empty your mag even when the target is not visible.
It's easy to scale a vertical cliff in bad weather without ropes and professional equipment.
Your 14 year old druggie son knows best when in the wilderness.
One camping trip with the local church group will make you an expert in bushcraft and give you that Indian trailmaster edge when navigating.
Covert Military types will always answer honestly if asked nicely.
Rifle barrels do not have to be pointed at someone to hit them in the chest.
You can down a helicopter by firing from the hip with an 5.56 calibre SMG on automatic fire.
Tough assed dog faced female government types always drink non fat decafe lattes
Professional mercenaries always use cheap scopes on their *beep* world war 2 M1 30cal instead of Mil-Spec with Mil-Dot reticles on Colt AR15's.
Automatic fire is best in all situations if you have an automatic weapon.
A helicopter losing turbine power can still gain height and fly away.
Its a good idea to climb higher when losing turbine power in a helicopter.
If you crash a helicopter into a forest you will not hurt yourself.
A helicopter can lose the tail rotor and not counter-rotate.
Shatter proof helicopter windshields can still shatter.
It is possible to make a movie with tough guys and action sequences and confrontations without having any swearing.
Not all movies with top ranked actors are really worth renting.
Good actors can't rescue a bad script.
( This thread is more entertaining than the whole movie. I shoulda saved the rental fee and just logged in here instead.)
dont know if this has been said but
when taking a known ex military assasin to the police tell him everything about your life, your sons name, your work, heck just right your address and phone number down incase he needs it later
Federal agents always treat small town cops like useless bumpkins.
Anyone can climb down a sheer rock face in the blinding rain.
Trained military assassins get their butts kicked easily by a doughy ex-cop.
You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa.
- A guy that is the "brain" of a contract killer gang and that plays chess every free minute cannot forsee a check-mate in one turn.
- When you are transporting a very dangerous prisoner and you are stopped by truck with a flat tyre in the middle of nowhere AND a big black van stopping behind you ... then that doesn't make you suspicious.
-Spokane, Washington has an identical twin city named Woodburn, Washington that is not to be confused with Woodburn, Oregon
shareAmerican cops and assassins all have accents that sound like they are European or Australian trying to do an American accent.
If you are the older black assassin leading a team of four other junior assassins, the only one you can count on to step up and rescue you in the rain is the young black assassin.
The new guy is always named Davis, and he is always going to be a problem for the team.
The superstar is always the coach's son, and he is always going to be a problem for the team.
It is ok for the police to let a criminal go if the kid was caught smoking pot, but not ok if he is a highly trained covert assassin.
No one in Washington knows what a Croissant is
share- Hanging out with drunken Aboriginals in Kings Cross makes you an expert tracker.
shareJohn Cusack can be shot at close range with a pump action machine gun without one bullet actually hitting him but fool a professional ex-soldier into thinking he has been blown away and is dead.
Although despite it's flaws I really enjoyed this film and thought the cast did an excellent job.
When donuts look better than the female federal agent... the movie viewer is really in for a treat.
share- If you want to become an assassin get a gimmick. (play chess 24/7, listen to an ipod 24/7, be black and ridiculously overdressed)
- the Washington wilderness has no cell signal, but has great wifi.
- When John Cusack is around the boyfriend is always a tool.
- There is volumes of material waiting for mst3k to return.
- when a 70 year old mercenary saves your life you don't have to get sentimental about it
- while speaking to your evil woman boss through the phone you should tell her she's got a sexy voice
"Come in with the milk. Come in with the milk. Come in with the milk..."
- when a movie has to identify "New York City" after showing a panoramic night time shot, it's assuming you're too stupid to figure it out for yourself and it's going to be a long night...
-You can shove a guy in front of a moving truck in broad daylight and not only will you get away with it, you will be considered a professional assassin.
- When two people are holding you at gunpoint on top of a cliff and are talking to each other about what to do next while standing 2 feet from the edge, the last thing you want to do is push both of them off the cliff.
-When something goes "straight-to-dvd", there's good reason.
-When a diesel has a blowout the driver always parks in the middle of the road.
-Phones dont work in cabins if it's too early in the season.
-Morgan Freeman can't drive
-While at a funeral you cant hear gunshots in the adjacent's woods
-The business channel is boring.
-John Cusak has a good swing.
-Cops in Washington are clumsy.
- Go after the hitman, but take some cofee before.
- When there's a professional bounty hounter on the loose in a forest, there will be only 2 helicopters to investigate.
- When one of the helicopter's crew is missing, nobody will show any signs of suspicion.
- When you're wanting to save the life of your boss, it's a good idea to empty your weapon on the cabin he's hiding in.
- But it's not too bad anyway, since all of your shot will miss.
- When you're holding a gun, hit someone with it instead of shooting him. That's far more efficient.
- Punshing someone in the face will kill him.
- A whole section of the FBI can't find a bounty hounter in the wood. But 4 ex-military can, even if one of them spend most of his time playing chess, and the other listening to his Ipod.
- Police officers in rural town are always fat, old, and incompetent.
- Even if you're only driving 25 mph down a small town street, any nudge by another car will cause your vehicle to fly through the air for incredible distances.
- All law enforcement officers -- local, state, or federal -- when faced with a dangerous or suspicious situation, immediately forget all their training and do the stupidest things imaginable.
- Hikers are so helpless and weak that they need a bridge to cross a field of boulders. (Trust me, I live in Montana. You don't need a bridge here, and you wouldn't find one.)
- Hired hit men can shoot everything that moves and have no respect for life but still refrain from uttering any curse words, instead preferring "freaking" and "tush."
- You can walk away from a horrendous helicopter accident without so much as a scratch instead of the more likely circumstances of having your limbs torn off.
- If you're a highly placed female federal agent, wearing no makeup shows you're serious.
the State of Washington looks a lot like Bulgaria.
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